I know, after
reading this, you’re all going to have the urge to kill me. Crais ponders
whether he should tell Crichton about Erp
What In The Name Of Erp
by GitonCrais
The Jhumon
had scowled at him again. Well, not only at him, he had been pleased to notice.
Crichton had
stomped out of the galley, muttering Erp-inanities as he went. Even the
translator microbes couldn’t (or didn’t) bother to translate them.
Crais folded
his hands behind his head and looked up at Talyn’s ceiling in Command.
He was
taking a small break and was resting on the recliner.
A smile
framed his lips.
The poor
Jhumon thought they were merely mispronouncing the name of his home planet.
Well, Crais
wasn’t going to tell Crichton that in reality they were just trying to be kind
to him. Besides, if he hadn’t already
figured it out on his own, the Jhumon wasn’t going to believe him anyway.
From what he
had observed, Aeryn had never explained this to Crichton either. Neither had
any of the others, come to think of it. The thought was rather amusing.
Crais rolled
over onto his side and rested, head on hand, while leaning up on his elbow. His
eyes were staring in the direction of the consoles a few steps away from him
but he wasn’t really focusing on them.
He had often
wondered why he had been so kind, ever since the beginning, actually, instead
of bursting out in laughter as soon as he had first heard the name of the planet.
It would have been so easy. It must have been Aeryn’s deadpan delivery of the
alternate name for the place.
Erp sounded
so much better than…Crais grinned.
He rolled on
his back and laced his hands behind his head.
He wondered
for the umpteenth time if the Jhumon had ever figured out why they kept
mispronouncing the name of his home planet. Probably not.
There had
been enough times that Crais had been sorely tempted to tell Crichton.
Sometimes the Jhumon was as annoying as a Sheyang on a Bonding party. Yet,
Crais always found enough self-control not to do so.
That raised
another issue in his mind, one he had long wondered about.
The
translator microbes hadn’t enlightened Crichton either. Which could mean that
words spoken by someone in their own language were not translated into the
person’s vocabulary as long as they were familiar terms. The conclusion that
might be drawn from that was that the translator microbes were aware of, and
somehow capable of adapting to, the thought patterns of the host that they were
residing in. Interesting.
Crais smiled
as he thought of the word U’th.
If Crichton
only knew that the name of his home planet elicited a mental picture of… Crais
started to chuckle.
That vision
continued to take form in his mind, becoming stronger and lodging itself firmly
until Crais finally began to laugh aloud. He couldn’t help himself.
The more he
tried to banish the thought, get himself under control, the more distorted and
enhanced the picture became. Totally blown out of proportion. It didn’t help
matters that the object of his mirth was an entire planet. That only made the
situation worse.
The
otherwise composed Captain Bialar Crais now let out a deep rumbling belly
laugh.
Tears of
laughter welled from his eyes and he rolled in helpless merriment on the
recliner.
Aeryn and
Crichton chose that moment to enter Command.
They stopped
in their tracks as they heard the strange sounds issuing from Crais.
Watched in
shock as they saw him clasp his sides, hugging himself.
For a moment
they even thought he might have been injured, until they moved closer and saw
his face.
“Crais?”
Aeryn laid a tentative hand on his shoulder, concern written on her face,
“What’s wrong?” They weren’t used to Crais being happy, especially not THIS
happy.
Crais turned
to her, only barely acknowledging her concern. For a moment he managed to stop
his laughter, only to renew it when he saw Crichton standing behind her.
Aeryn turned
to Crichton, “I don’t understand it either.”
Crichton
shrugged his shoulders. He had even less of an idea than usual what had set
Crais off.
Aeryn turned
back to Crais, “Crais, what happened?”
Finally
Crais gasped, “U’th!” and resumed his laughter.
Crichton
smiled. Was Crais trying to pronounce Earth?
He looked at
Aeryn and got a shock.
She was biting
her bottom lip and her eyes twinkled with merriment. Her face started to turn
rosier and she tried her hardest not to burst out laughing. She placed her hand
against her lips, swallowed and looked at the laughing form of her former
Commander. Crais was helpless to stop himself, and despite her own best efforts
to control herself, his laughter was becoming contagious.
“Aeryn?”
Crichton looked at her in confusion.
Aeryn looked
at Crichton, then back at Crais and ran out of Command.
Crichton
could hear her laughter echo down the corridor.
He looked at
Crais but only saw his shaking form as laughter kept pouring forth.
He shook his
head. He wouldn’t get any answers from either of them.
In total
confusion, he left Command.
The End
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