Rating: R, I guess, some Angst involved, Spoilers:
Maybe Season 4, definitely “Junk”. Keywords: Sydney’s past. Summary: Sydney is
injected by Raines. Jarod and Ms Parker help him with the aftermath
Haunting
Memories
by
Giton
The Centre, Sydney’s office
Raines had come to his office unannounced. Well,
as unannounced as his squeaking oxygen-tank would allow.
“What do you want, Raines,” asked Sydney
wearily. It had been a gruelling day, he had a splitting headache and by the
looks of it Raines wanted to become the icing on the cake.
First of all, Ms Parker, Broots and himself had
returned in the early hours of the morning from San Francisco after “missing”
Jarod again. Secondly, The new “project” didn’t want to co-operate and Sydney
was scared that if he didn’t co-operate soon Raines would get his grubby hands
on the boy and Sydney was all for not letting that happen. Thirdly, the new
twins were behaving rather peculiar and Sydney couldn’t understand why. Fourth,
but not least, Ms Parker had asked Sydney to do some more checking on Jarod and
was expecting him and Broots to have a meeting with her, about a new game-plan
she had been thinking of, in about half an hour. No, Sydney was not in the mood
for any social calls, or any calls for that matter, and certainly not any from
Raines.
Again he asked, “What do you want, Raines,” when
the other man didn’t seem to be inclined to answer him the first instance.
Raines looked at him through slitted eyes, his
breathing heavy and rattling. Still he didn’t answer. Sydney started to feel
uncomfortable. He still had quite a lot of work to do before the meeting and
wanted Raines out of the way so he could get on with it.
“Raines, I am a busy man, I don’t know about
you, but if you have anything to say, say it or leave me, so I can get on with
my work.”
“You, Sydney, have been a pain in my proverbial
backside,” Raines said to him almost in a hoarse whisper, “You have thwarted me
again and again. Don’t look at me so innocently, because you are not. I am
quite convinced that it was you who has informed Jarod on several occasions
that we were coming. Alas, I cannot prove that. But setting Ms Parker on me
with your investigations, or should I say allegations, that was the limit.
Since I have strong suspicions that you have
outlasted your stay here, I think I have come up with an admirable solution to
the whole problem.”
The grin he gave Sydney made the latter shift
uncomfortably in his seat. Before Sydney could say anything, the door opened,
as if on cue, and three of Raines’ Sweepers entered the room.
On a small gesture from Raines they advanced on
a startled Sydney and without a word they hauled him out of his chair and moved
him out of the room. Raines followed and closed the door behind them.
The Centre, Ms Parker’s office
“Broots, where the hell is Sydney,” Ms Parker
wanted to know angrily, “Hadn’t we agreed to have a meeting just about right
now?”
“Yes, Ms Parker, and I’ve been trying to reach
him for the last half hour, but there is no answer from his cell phone or his
phone in his office. I checked with Security and he hasn’t left the building
either. It’s not like Sydney to just stay away without letting us know. Unless
something urgent has come up and he hadn’t had the time to inform us yet. I was
just about to go over to his office to see what is keeping him.”
“We will both go and for his sake I hope he
comes up with a damn good answer.”
She stormed out of the office with Broots
trailing her.
Sydney’s office
When they got to Sydney’s office they found it
empty. His jacket was still draped over the back of his chair and his cell
phone lay on the table but of their owner there was no sign.
“It must be quite an emergency if Sydney leaves
here without his jacket. Can you see if he was working on something before he
left?”
Broots sat behind Sydney’s desk. “The computer
is still running and the file is still open at the case of the new twins. Other
than that, I can’t see why he would have left.” Both looked around puzzled.
This was not at all like Sydney. Even with an emergency on his hand he would
have at least closed the file he had been working on. He was normally rather
secretive on what he was doing.
A sound from one of the wall grates attracted
their attention and soon this was followed by the appearance of Angelo. He
seemed to be in distress. Ms Parker walked over to him. “What’s wrong Angelo?
Do you know where Sydney is?”
“Sydney hurt. Hurt real bad.”
“Where is he? How is he hurt?”
Angelo cowered under her glare and repeated what
he had just said, adding, “Mr Raines took him.”
“Where did he take him,” Ms Parker tried to
sound less angry so as not to aggravate Angelo too much.
“Corridor 17.”
“Corridor 17? But that section is hardly being
used, why would he take him there? Was Sydney hurt by Mr Raines?”
Angelo nodded vigorously. “Sydney pain. Hurt
bad.”
“That bastard Raines. Come on Broots, let’s see
if we can stop him,” again she stormed out. Broots had trouble to keep up with
her. Angelo ducked back into the air vent.
The Centre, Corridor 17
When Ms Parker and Broots got to Corridor 17 the
whole place was dark. They wondered if they had heard Angelo right. It didn’t
seem as if anyone was here. While they were still contemplating which way to
turn, Ms Parker thought she could hear muffled voices coming from the end of
the corridor. Prompting Broots to walk with caution they proceeded stealthily
forwards.
She hadn’t been mistaken. The closer they got to
the end of the corridor, the clearer the voices became and the one they were
hearing at the moment was distinctly Raines’. She held Broots back, wanting to
find out what was going on before going in.
“So, are you going to tell me how you have been
contacting Jarod? I will get it out of you eventually anyway, one way or the
other, with or without your full co-operation. No?” A loud smack sounded and a
grunt of pain followed.
“I don’t know what you are talking about,”
Sydney’s voice answered painfully, another yelp of pain.
“Wait until the drug takes effect. You’ll be
singing to me shortly, if only to get another shot. Can you still remember it
from the last time? You’ve had two now.” Maniacal laughter sounded, “You think
it might be a little too much? Don’t worry, shortly you might even find it too
little.” Again came the laugh.
Before Ms Parker moved forward she heard Raines
say, “What do you know about Catherine Parker? And how much have you told her
darling daughter, eh?” She stopped in her tracks, wanting to hear more. She
could hear Sydney mumble something, but couldn’t make out the words.
“You claim you haven’t said anything? Than why
is she after my hide?”
“Why shouldn’t she?” A resounding slap sounded.
“I have it from a reliable source that she had
been digging in the cemetery. Also that she found some evidence of the staged
killing. And you want me to believe that she didn’t turn to you for answers?
How much do you know?”
Ms Parker thought it was a good time as any to
step in. Before going in she drew her gun, not knowing what to expect and maybe
have the added pleasure of shooting Raines, just for the hell of it. She kicked
the door open and said, “Yes, tell me Sydney, how much do you know?”
Raines turned with a look of surprise, followed
by horror when he saw the gun in her hand.
With a quick glance Ms Parker viewed the
situation. Sydney was tied with his arms strapped to the armrests of a chair in
the middle of the room. It was apparent that Raines or his goons had been
roughing him up. A nasty cut over his left eyebrow was leaving bloody streaks
down that side of his face. His breathing was ragged and it was obvious that he
had trouble focussing. Behind the chair were two of Raines’ goons, holding
Sydney back against the chair, while the third was standing in front of the
chair in his shirtsleeves. It didn’t take an Einstein to figure out what his
job had been in the proceedings. Raines stood to the front of Sydney near a
table with syringes amongst other things and had an electric rod in his hand.
“Move away from him. Over there, to the far wall
and keep your hands where I can see them. The first to move will have my
distinct pleasure of being shot and at the moment I feel very twitchy!” She had
a nasty smile on her face. They did as they were told. “Broots come over here
and help me unstrap Sydney.”
Broots moved over and did as he was told. Sydney’s
head started to droop forwards.
Ms Parker barked a command, “Sydney, I need you
conscious, so, don’t you start fainting on me!” Sydney drew to attention with
some effort, but saw the reason behind it. Broots worked quickly on the straps,
careful not to hurt Sydney further. Finally it was done. He helped him stand
and at first Sydney leaned heavily on Broots’ shoulder, but sensing that the
smaller man wouldn’t be able to carry his weight he tried to straighten up. The
effort nearly made him keel over, but he seemed to manage for the time being.
Ms Parker, the gun still trained on the other four in the room, motioned Broots
and Sydney out and turning to the others she said, “I hope you told someone
that you were down here or else you might be in here for a long, long time.
Bye!” She closed and locked the door behind her. Angry shouts issued from the
room and a small smile touched her features.
She found Sydney leaning with his eyes closed
against the wall. It was obvious that he wouldn’t stay conscious for much
longer.
“Broots, you take his other arm. We have to try
and get him to the underground car park without anybody noticing us. I hate
having to go through lengthy explanations at the moment.” She took Sydney’s
other arm and together they managed to get the taller man to the elevator. Once
inside they were all leaning exhausted against the wall.
By a stroke of luck they arrived at the car park
without being seen, where they bustled into Ms Parker’s car and drove out of
the Centre.
Blue Cove, a cottage near the Lake
The cottage Ms Parker had driven them to, had
been her secret “hidey-hole” for a long time. She had used it every time life
became a little bit too hectic, even for her liking. She had bought it in
secret a long time ago, using outside agents and an assumed name. No one in The
Centre should be able to suspect that this was hers and where she was at the
moment.
With difficulty they carried Sydney inside. The
closer they got to the cottage the less coherent he had become. Only a sense of
knowing that safety was near at hand, as long as he was able to stay awake,
kept him going for a bit longer. Once inside he collapsed to the floor, nearly
bringing the others down in his fall. For the moment they let him lie where he
was, they themselves being too exhausted to move him just yet. Finally they got
up and half-carried, half dragged his “dead” weight over to one of the
bedrooms.
Inside they laid him on the bed and start to
take some of his clothes off. Broots offered to do this on his own, embarrassed
that Ms Parker should do it, but she wouldn’t hear of it. They took his shoes
off, his trousers and his shirt. It was only then that the rest of his injuries
became known. A large swelling and bruising over his left ribcage indicated
that he had either some bruised, possibly even broken ribs. Two bruised
puncture marks showed up on the inside of his left forearm. Ms Parker was
unpleasantly reminded of Sydney’s stay in the death camps when she saw the
faded tattoo on the lower half of his arm and remembered that Sydney hardly
walked around in his shirt-sleeves, even during warm weather. They had to wait
until he reached consciousness again to know to full extent of his injuries.
For the moment they covered him up with a blanket.
Ms Parker said she was going to make some coffee
while Broots sat with Sydney and kept an eye on him. Broots looked over at the
older man who, for his age, looked quite vigorously, but now his face was
frightfully pale and he seemed much older than his age. His breathing was
laboured, but steady. He lay so still. Broots was worried and saddened to see
him lying there. What would have happened to Sydney if Angelo hadn’t warned
them?
Ms Parker came back carrying a tray with two
steaming mugs of coffee and a bowl and a cloth, which she handed to Broots.
Broots set about wiping the blood from Sydney’s face. “How is he?”
“I don’t know, Ms Parker, he seems okay at the
moment, but I’m no doctor. It doesn’t look too good though.”
Ms Parker bit the back of her finger, “What are
we suppose to do, Broots?”
As if on cue her cell-phone rang. She frowned.
Who could that be? “Parker!”
“Ms Parker, how is he?” It wasn’t difficult to
guess who was on the other side of the line.
“Jarod! How did you know…?”
“How is he?”
“We’re not sure. Alright, I guess, but we’re not
sure.”
“Describe his symptoms to me, please.” She did,
not even caring how it was that he already knew something was wrong with
Sydney. She would deal with that later. When she came to the needlepoint marks
Jarod was getting quite upset.
“Needle points?”
“Yes, two. I remember Raines saying something
about “the drug taking effect” and that Sydney would “sing” to him if only to
get another shot. Oh, yes, and reminding him about another time. You don’t
think…?”
She could almost hear Jarod gnash his teeth,
“Yes, that’s exactly what I think he did. I’m willing to bet that he injected
Sydney with the same, by then experimental, drug he had used on him and on me
nearly twenty years ago. Keep him warm, give him lots of liquids to drink and
you might want to keep a bucket nearby, just in case (-Ms Parker frowned in
disgust and glanced over at Broots-). Don’t let him wander all over the place,
you might even have to restrain him. Damn, there is no telling what it will do
to him, not at his age. Don’t worry, I’ll be over shortly.”
He hung up before she could ask, how he knew
where to find her or when he would be here. She closed the phone and stared in
silence to the man lying on the bed.
Broots was fidgeting. Ms Parker noticed his discomfort,
“You pick up Debbie, Broots, and lie low for a while. Don’t’ come back to the
cottage, but don’t go home either. They might follow you or… Don’t worry, I’ll
look after Sydney.”
The cottage, a little while later
A motion on the bed stirred her from the light
slumber she had fallen in. Sydney was regaining consciousness. He groaned but
still had his eyes closed.
“Sydney?” She waited, no response, a little
louder, “ Sydney, can you hear me?”
Another groan than weakly, “A little water…
please.”
She was relieved, he seemed to respond all
right. She supported him while she gave him the water, “How are you feeling?”
“Much as can be expected: aches, pains and
bruises, the usual,” he tried to laugh, but it ended in an agonized cough. Ms
Parker wasn’t convinced by his flippancy. It seemed to her that his eyes moved
in and out of focus. Clear one minute and dazed and cloudy the next.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“Raines had a bee in his bonnet and decided to
pick a bone with me,” again Sydney spoke with a joviality, which belied the
present state he was in between small gasps for air.
“Any aches or pains or… anything I should be
aware of,” Ms Parker asked cautiously.
Sydney shifted his position on the bed and was
unpleasantly reminded of the beating to his ribcage. The drug must be cloaking
it partially from him. “Thanks God for small blessings,” thought Ms Parker.
He took a deep breath and his eyes squeezed
shut, but whether this was from physical or mental pain wasn’t clear. His
hands, involuntarily, were plucking at the sheets. “Yes, you should be aware of
something. It is rather embarrassing, but I think you should know. The Ba…
Raines, he injected me with the same drugs they had tried on me some twenty
years ago. Maybe not the same drugs, they might have perfected it since then,
but I am well aware of the effects and they seem similar to what was given to
me then.
As well as I remember it gives the person a
feeling of… clearness. Well, I think I am pretty lucid right now. It gives the
feeling of mental superiority over anybody else. Aches and pains are forgotten.
For about a couple of hours the person feels superb. Than the shivering begins.
One feels hot and cold in turn. Hallucinations. The muscles cramp up, heart
races, sweating starts, and one might even vomit. The pain is excruciating and
can only be stopped by another dose of the drug and every time thereafter the
body will demand more.
Or one can ride it out. Depending on the amount
given, how much used previously and on the person’s physical being, it can be
over in a couple of days or might take up to a week. The craving for the drug
lasts for some time, depending on the amount taken, but can be easily done
without if the subject is physically and mentally strong enough.”
It hadn’t slipped Ms Parker’s notice that he had
spoken as if he was giving a lecture about an unrelated test case, deliberately
distancing himself from it. “What about you, Sydney?” Ms Parker asked quietly.
“I don’t know. It could be over quite quickly.
He only injected me once, so…”
“Twice! Broots and I heard him say to you that
he had given you two shots already.”
Sydney frowned, “I can’t remember the second
injection. He must have given me one when I was out for the count than or
maybe, I… just don’t remember it. Some parts are hazy.
I can remember his goons frogmarching me out of
the office down to one of the Sub-levels. They were very clever, nearly
sandwiching me between them, making it look as if we were on our way to an
emergency. Once we were down there, one of them hit me rather hard in the chest
while the other two were holding me. Raines just stood there and grinned. They
hit me a couple of times before strapping me to the chair. For no apparent
reason Raines hit me hard with something -don’t know what it was- over the left
of my face. It was shortly after that, that he injected me with the drug.
He accused me of tipping off Jarod and was
wondering how I had done this. When I denied it he used the electric rod on me.
I must gave passed out for a short time. If it is true that he injected me
twice than that’s when it must have happened. I think he mentioned something
about me setting you on the trail of your mother’s alleged killing and wanted
to know more about it. I don’t know what they would have done to me if you had
not barged in.” It was evident that reliving those painful memories were
getting him in an agitated state, so Ms Parker left it at that and tried to
calm him down.
“How did you know where to find me? Angelo? Good
boy! He must have gone through the air vent system. I think he knows the Centre
better than we do,” he gave another chuckle. It must have been the effect of
the drugs that made it seem as if he couldn’t relax.
Ms Parker was curious about her mother, though.
“Sydney, is my mother still alive? Do you know?”
“Honestly, Ms Parker, I don’t know. I would let
you know if I did.”
“Like you have not been keeping that little
secret that she was not killed outright from me all these years?” a touch of
anger crept into her voice.
“No, since you know that her killing was not
real and that she had initially escaped the Centre I don’t feel bound to keep
her secret from you any longer. I do believe that the last DSA we saw, where
Raines shot her after she gave birth to her son, was her real death.”
“Why did she let you know that she was
escaping?”
“We were very good friends…”
“Just good friends?”
“Yes, just good friends. She cared very much for
the children and we even had spoken of trying to set the children free. Getting
them to their real parents or maybe even setting up a school for them. Things
just didn’t work out that way. I regret that.”
“You, Sydney? Who stayed at the Centre for,
what, over thirty years? I can’t believe that.”
He looked hurt. “Someone had to make sure that
they weren’t treated too badly or worse. And than there was Jarod and you and
later Angelo. I couldn’t just abandon you all.”
“So it was pity for the poor children that kept
you there?” she said with a sneer.
He understood that she would never be able to
understand his motivations. Hell, sometimes he couldn’t understand it himself.
“And because you care you still help me to hunt
down Jarod?”
“Yes, because I care.”
She snorted. “I wonder if Raines was right.
Maybe you have been helping Jarod escape from our clutches and in some
perverted way tagging along with us to see if he could escape.”
He said nothing. Whatever he said to her
wouldn’t reach her ears anyway. Besides, he could feel the feel-good-effect of
the drug wearing off and wasn’t sure for long he would be coherent enough to
make sense even to himself. The pain started to creep in now and it wasn’t a
pleasant sensation.
Ms Parker stopped scowling at him when she
noticed that he seemed to be in discomfort. “You okay, Syd?”
“Ms Parker as a tracker you’re in your own
class, but as a nurse… it sucks,” he chuckled with a painful gasp and passed
out.
The Cottage, a little later
After Sydney had passed out, she sat next to the
bed for a while and dozed off again herself. A hand on her shoulder brought her
back to the present. Her first instinct was to reach for her gun at the side.
“Ah-Ah. Is that how you greet an old friend?”
She looked up in the face of Jarod who had her gun dangling from his
forefinger.
“Give that back to me.”
“Not until you behave nicely to me. I think I
keep this for a while.”
“How did you know where to find us?”
“That would be telling would it? But don’t
worry, your secret is save with me. How is he?”
“As you see him. A little while back he passed
out. I think the effects of the drug are wearing off.”
Sydney moved restlessly on the bed. Jarod
examined Sydney. “The cut over the eye is mainly superficial, but I’m willing
to bet that it must have bled shockingly. I am worried about the bruise on his
chest, though,” he gently pressed the area and even in Sydney’s semi-conscious
state the brain registered pain and Sydney reacted to that with a soft moaning
sound. “He might have one or more broken ribs or at least severe bruising and
short of taping up the chest there isn’t much we can do about it. We know it is
not extremely serious, like broken off or pressing into the lung or else he
would be coughing up blood by now. Further than that, only an x-ray could tell
us more, but we can’t do that until Sydney is free of the drug. There would be
too many questions otherwise.”
He looked with sadness down on his former
mentor. “Poor Sydney. Always trying to change the world for the better, but
never really getting the hang of it.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing in particular.”
A soft moaning sound came from the bed. Sydney
was struggling towards wakefulness. His eyes snapped open and although he was
looking straight at them, it didn’t seem as if he was aware of them. There was
horror written in his eyes and Ms Parker shuddered at the thought of what his
eyes were seeing at the moment.
Dachau concentration camp, November 1944
Sydney was crouching under the floorboards where
the camp-doctor had put him and his brother Jacob after they had been beaten
and doused with water. They were naked and the November wind was howling around
the cracks in the walls, which gave only the barest of protection. Sydney knew
they had a hole drilled in the floorboards above their heads for “observation
and study”. He wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of showing how cold
and miserable he was, not that he could do it without a lot of luck. His
clattering teeth he couldn’t control and he imagined it was loud enough to be
heard on the other side of the camp.
He could deal with the cold. Jacob was his first
concern now. His brother lay only two feet away from him and was making keening
noises to combat the pain. Being twins, the boys were much closer to each other
than most other children and had an almost empathic bond. Sydney sidled over to
comfort his brother. He had always been the mentally stronger of the two. Maybe
his inner strength could help his brother feel the pain less severely. Movement
over the cold, damp ground was slow and painful.
Once close, he cradled the body of his brother
in his arms and hoped he was able to give him some warmth. The keening noises
grew softer and finally Jacob dropped off in an uneasy slumber. Sydney wasn’t
as lucky, so he slowly rocked his brother’s form in his arms singing a lullaby
softly to him.
After a while even his small arms started to
ache from the cramped position he was in and gently he lowered Jacob to ground,
trying to lie as close to him as possible to keep the warmth up and to get some
sleep in the progress. This wasn’t much to the liking of the people watching
from above and the trapdoor was opened to haul the two boys out. More beatings
followed and the process was repeated again and again.
The Cottage, early evening
Sydney was moving quite restlessly on the bed
now and Jarod needed all his concentration and strength to keep the older man
down. Ms Parker fetched some more cold water to dampen down Sydney’s feverish
brow. He mumbled words in a muddled up version of French and German and she
couldn’t make head nor tail of what he was saying. Jarod tried to comfort him
by speaking to him softly in French. Some of the words must have found their
way in Sydney’s fevered brain and he calmed down somewhat, but not for long.
Finally Ms Parker couldn’t stand it any longer
and left the room. She had no problems watching people being interrogated and
even killed, but she had never been very good around sick people and seeing
Sydney’s tortured struggles was too much to bear.
A couple of days after the Allies liberated
Dachau
Sydney and his brother, like countless others,
huddled by the side of the road just outside the camp. The Allies had just
liberated the camp and people were just too stunned to believe they had been
freed. To Sydney and Jacob it was as if they had been turned out of their house
all over again, only this time their family wasn’t with them. The realisation
of being free, but orphans in a world which had more than their fair share of
orphans had not sank in yet.
Gratefully they accepted a big piece of
chocolate from one of the passing soldiers. They split it between them and
gulfed it down only to be violently sick when their stomachs rejected the rich
food. Afterwards they felt miserable. At least they were together and had
survived.
Sydney looked around him at the human misery
standing, sitting and lying in huddled groups. A fine rain had begun to fall,
but nobody moved from his or her chosen spot. Although free, nobody cared. Some
were trying to find family members or friends, most of them failing badly and
feeling more depressed.
Of course, they could have gotten back inside
the camps and found shelter from the rain in the barracks, but many didn’t dare
to do so, just in case it was just a dream and when they woke up they would
find themselves back in the camp. Sydney and Jacob were not excluded from that.
Someone shuffled past them and Sydney looked up.
A shock went through him. This was no inmate, even though he was dressed as
one. This was one of the tormentors who had worked in the infirmary. A man who
had performed his “work” with pleasure. Sydney cringed away. Every nerve in his
body felt the urge to scream out the man’s name, to let everyone know who he
really was. But what if this was all a dream? Would he than not punish the boy?
Or worse punish the boy through the brother?
He felt his throat constrict, a whimper was let
loose. The man turned his face in the direction of the two boys and smiled
maliciously. He saw two near naked boys, shivering with cold, hunger and
exhaustion and he was certain that they would not betray him.
It was either the overwhelming fear Sydney felt
or maybe just the grin the man had given him, but he screamed and screamed
again…
The Cottage, evening
Sydney had been tossing and turning in the bed.
At one stage vomiting violently. Luckily Jarod had been in time and made him
throw up in the bucket, rather than soiling himself. The drug had dragged
Sydney down in a hell of his own and there was nothing more Jarod could do other
than try and comfort him. Hold him close and let him ride it out.
Then Sydney became very quiet and moved into a
foetus position, whimpering softly. He tried to move deeper into the bed.
Hugging his arms around himself and holding his body tight. Nothing could
prepare Jarod for the unexpected scream that issued from his lips. His veins
stood out on his neck. “Dos ist Er! (-It’s him-) Dos ist Er!” Sydney kept
shouting. Jarod held him close until Sydney lapsed in a quiet sobbing.
Ms Parker had stormed out of the kitchen,
“What’s going on? Was that Sydney?”
“He’s having a nightmare. I think he’s back at
the Camp again.”
“How long is this going to go on for?” she asked
nervously while she lit a cigarette with shaking hands.
“I have no idea. The drug is letting him relive
those days again and there is no telling what it might do to his well-being. We
can only hope that he’s going to be alright once this is over.”
“Well, if it is alright with you, I need to step
outside for a while. I can’t stay and watch him suffer. I need some fresh air.
Don’t worry, I am not going to inform on you. I don’t want to handle Sydney on
my own and I definitely can’t turn him over to the Centre. I won’t be long.”
Without waiting for an answer she put her coat on and left.
Jarod was left alone again with Sydney. He tried
to get to older man to drink some water. The sweat was pouring off Sydney’s
face and his body felt hot to the touch. Some of the water found their way
through the parched lips.
For a little while his breathing seemed to
become more regular. Than his eyes snapped open and were almost lucid. “Jarod,
what are you doing here? If Ms Parker finds you here she will take you back to
the Centre.” He tried to push away from Jarod, looking furtively about, “Go
now, while there is still time. I don’t know where she has gone, but she
mustn’t find you here.” His movements were becoming more erratic in his urge to
make Jarod leave.
“It’s alright Sydney. She knows I am here.”
“How could that be?”
“We’re here to help you.”
“Help me? Why?”
“You don’t remember what Raines did to you?”
“Raines? Yes, he…” Remembrance dawned and he
buried his face in his shaking hands. “Yes, I do remember, but still you
shouldn’t stay. They will use me as a ruse to keep you here and than bring you
back. No, I cannot allow that to happen to you. You will not be going back to
the Camp. I am taking you with me and we will leave this horrible place. We
will go back home and I will protect you. They are not going to hurt us again.”
He managed to sit up with the intention to leave the bed. Somehow he had
muddled Jarod up with Jacob, his brother, and in his fevered dreams the urge to
escape was strong on him again.
“Sydney, stay still. Nobody is going to hurt me…
us. You are safe now and we have to get you well.”
“No, you don’t understand. She will want to
bring you back! Let me get you out of here.” His eyes were roaming feverishly
around the room, but Jarod doubted that he actually saw the room. His mind was
elsewhere and he flayed his arms wildly about him and then pushed himself away
from Jarod in his urge to get away.
“Sydney!” Jarod nearly screamed at him, “You are
a very sick person at the moment. We can’t let you go. Now will you go back to
bed!”
For a moment Sydney looked hurt and his face
contorted in many different emotions. “Jarod… I…” he collapsed back onto the
bed in a dead faint. Jarod moved closer and arranged him under the sheets
again. Trying to keep him warm. Sydney started tossing and turning again.
Swirling colours. Light and dark. The floor
moving up and down like a ship. Footsteps behind him. Running footsteps. He
couldn’t let them catch him. A figure stood alone in the distance. Jarod! No,
Jacob! Or… He couldn’t let them take him, whoever it was. It was imperative
that he made them move away from the lone figure. He ran to the left. The
footsteps were coming closer and closer… He felt an arm on his shoulder and…
awoke screaming in bed, sitting upright and seeing the concerned faces of Jarod
and… Ms Parker?
When Ms Parker returned it seemed to her that
nothing had chanced. Sydney was still in the throes of unseen ghosts from the
past. She shrugged her shoulders and walked further into the room. When she
neared the bed Sydney seemed to get more agitated and when she touched his
shoulder he came awake screaming. Exhausted he fell back in the pillows.
“I think the worst is still to come,” said
Jarod, “we still have to monitor him closely for a while.”
“You mean it might get worse than this?”
“Much worse.”
“Dandy! Just what I need. I think I will make
myself a drink.” Before Jarod could advice her against it, that it might be bad
for ulcer, Sydney’s voice drew him back to the bed.
“Jarod?” came the hoarse whisper, “could I get
some water, please?”
Jarod smiled. He brought the glass to Sydney’s
lips. The older man sipped the cold water gratefully and lay back on the pillow
again. His temperature seemed to be going down again.
“You gave us quite a scare there. How are you
feeling?”
“I don’t know. Wet, unwashed and exhausted. My
chest seems to hurt a lot.”
“Yeah, I think Raines, or his men, must have
cracked or bruised a couple of ribs there.”
Sydney grinned weakly, “I think you are right
there. Surely feels like it.” He coughed and winced in pain. “Better not catch
a cold in a hurry, eh?” It seemed like he had his old sarcasm back and that was
a good sign.
“Would you like something to eat?”
Sydney nearly looked green. The very thought…
“You better rest now, Sydney, you’ll need it.”
The older man complied, laid his head back against the pillows and was almost
instantly back asleep again. He was still very weak, but his breathing was
easier and more regular now.
Jarod and Ms Parker ate their dinner in the
bedroom, partly to keep a watch over Sydney. Conversation was strained and kept
to the barest minimum and for a while the only sounds in the room were the
clicking of cutlery on plates and Sydney’s shallow breathing.
Towards the end of their meal Jarod noticed a
sudden change in Sydney’s breathing. It came in deep, rapid shallow breaths. He
dropped his cutlery on the plate and moved over to the bed. A fine film of
sweat had appeared on Sydney’s brow again. His hands were clutching at the
sheets. His eyes were closed, but there was rapid movement under the eyelids. He
had started another of his dreams again.
Dachau, August 1944
Jacob and Sydney had decided to escape. They
knew that if they were to be caught certain death awaited them, but anything
was better than this… unliving. Not a lot of planning went into their plan.
They couldn’t ration any provisions to take with them on their flight, not with
the meagre amount that was given to them daily. The weather was fine, sleeping
in the forest or even in the open shouldn’t be a problem. Their whole family
was dead now, so they only had each other to care about. If they didn’t leave
too soon it would be over for them as well.
On the few occasions they had been allowed out,
they had noticed that the area behind the barracks were less closely guarded
when the adults had been sent on work-details and the children were only given
a cursory glance. It could work. The only thing that could possibly stop them
from putting the plan into action was if one of the experiments they were
conducting on them was of a crippling nature; it was better not to dwell on
that aspect lest they brought it on themselves.
Their chance came towards the middle of August.
It was a hot, sweltering day and they were allowed out. Because of the heat the
guards were really not interested in anything other than to find some shade to
stay cool. For a while they watched the two boys playing a form of hide and
seek, clearly enjoying the short time out of their cage. They noticed them
flitting backwards and forwards behind and in front of the barracks. They were
amazed that two children, mere ghosts of themselves, could bring up the
enjoyment and the energy to play, certainly in this weather and this setting.
After a while they got bored watching them.
Sydney and Jacob noticed this too and saw their chance to make true their
escape. As fast as their weakened legs would allow them they ran to the end of
the enclosed area behind the barracks and tried to get under the fence before
anybody could notice them. By sheer luck they managed to get past the first
fence unnoticed and were almost clear past the outer fence when someone shouted
orders to let the dogs loose. Sheer terror of being caught gave their feet
wings and they got to the edge of the tree line.
They just ran, Sydney slightly ahead of Jacob.
He could hear the laboured breath of his brother close at his back. Further
back, in the distance, they could hear German commands being shouted and the
barking of the dogs. They tried to run faster. Than Jacob let out a shout when
he fell over the root of a tree. Sydney stopped in his tracks and ran back
towards his brother who had fallen on the forest floor.
Jacob got up, but it was quite clear that the
fall had robbed him of much needed energy, luckily he hadn’t hurt himself too
much. Sydney urged him to run on, hearing the shouts and the barking getting
closer. Jacob ran, but was again flagging behind. “You try and make it, Sydney,
I am only holding you back,” he wheezed.
“No, I won’t leave you. Come on! There is still
a chance.”
But luck had run out of them, if it had been
there in the first place. It had been nice to taste a little bit of freedom,
too bad it had been snatched away from them so quickly. The guards caught up
with them quickly and before they knew it they were back in the camp again
where they marched them back to the infirmary.
The Doctor looked at the two little boys, all
grimy and looking very miserable.
“So, you wanted to leave us? Do you know how we
punish little boys who want to leave when we didn’t give them permission to
leave?”
The two looked up frightened into the man’s
face, but didn’t even let out a whimper. In a way the Doctor admired their
small courage.
“We shoot them. BANG! Dead! That’s what we do
with naughty little boys. But I have another idea. You are twins, yes? If we
shoot you, you might think to be free of us. If we let you live, you might want
to attempt to escape again. If we keep you two apart, you will be of no use of
my experiments. On the other hand, if we keep you apart you might not want to
escape on your own, but you still will be of no use to me. Now what shall I
do?” He slowly paced backwards and forwards in front of the boys, than some
thought brought a smile to his face as if he had come to a solution and he
stopped pacing. He drew out his gun and slowly trained it first on Jacob and
than on Sydney. Sydney straightened his back; he had no fear of death at that
moment. The Doctor had been right in assuming that Sydney would be the more
stubborn to deal with, but would never leave his brother on his own devices.
“I could do this,” said the Doctor and shot
Jacob in the foot, who went down with a howl. Sydney immediately fell to his
knees to comfort his brother. “That way I can insure that you two won’t run
away again.”
The Cottage, later
Sydney was sobbing uncontrollably now. His head
was tossing fretfully on the pillow. “No, Jacob, no!” Suddenly he cramped up
and doubled over in pain. There was no telling if this was due to the
nightmares, which still kept him captive or the effects of the drugs on his
body.
Jarod held the man close, drawing his pain onto
himself. It took a while before the sobbing subsided and Sydney became calm
again. Gently Jarod eased him back on the bed again.
“I know you said it might get worse, but I had
no idea it would be like this,” Ms Parker said with scorn.
“There is no telling how bad it will become. The
images of his past are strong and at the moment he is very weak. We’ll just
have to ride it out.”
“Well, you can sit there and feel quite
motherly, but I can’t. This is too much. I need to go out.”
She stormed out. “Make sure nobody is following
you when you come back,” shouted Jarod at her back. He wasn’t sure if had heard
her over the banging of the front door.
Not that he could linger long on Ms Parker’s
behaviour. Sydney’s body became almost rigid on the bed and it was with
difficulty that he was drawing breaths. When Jarod touched his shoulder it was
almost like touching a slab of wood. It was obvious that he was trying to come
out of his dream and not succeeding. Again Jarod spoke softly to him…
The corridors of the Centre were ill lit and it
seemed as if there was no end to them. They went on forever. Sydney stood with
his back against the wall. Should he turn left? Or Right? Rustling sounds were
all around him, but he couldn’t see anything substantial.
Suddenly the almost spectral form of Raines
loomed up before him. His near skeletal face resembling the Grim Reaper…
Chancing into the malicious sneering face of Krieg… Changing into the Grim
Reaper himself who extended his skeletal hands towards Sydney, who wanted to
scream… to run away, but who stood rooted on the spot, unable to utter a single
sound.
His muscles went rigid and his jaw-muscles ached
with the strain of the inability to scream, to find any form of release. He
felt as if his mind was going to explode, until…
A soft voice called his name from the darkness.
A soothing voice, a familiar voice. With an effort Sydney directed his thoughts
towards this voice and slowly started to relax…
All through the night he sat with Sydney.
Holding the other man’s hand. Giving him water to drink at intervals. Mopping
his brow and comforting him. While Sydney went through a whole gamut of horrors
in his mind.
In the early hours of the morning the nightmares
seemed to abate, which was a good sign. It had exhausted both men greatly.
Jarod knew it wasn’t over yet. More like the calm before a storm. The drug was
not a kind guest and it wouldn’t leave willingly. It was only a matter of time
before it would erupt out of Sydney’s body screaming. Jarod glanced over at the
bed and saw the signs of the last onset.
Sydney was twitching in the bed, as he had been
doing all night, but it wasn’t the nightmares of his past that haunted him now.
His face screwed up in pain. One minute he was doubled over with abdominal
pains and the next minute his body had arched to such an extent that most of
his back didn’t even touch the bed. His muscles all cramped up and his hands
were like claws. Sometimes clawing the empty air sometimes hugging himself. His
muscles became so tense that they felt like solid rock. Jarod was afraid he
might snap something and do irreparable damage to himself.
What made it all so eerie was that all through
the proceedings he only expressed the intense pain he must be going through in
soft moans that came through suppressed lips.
Jarod hoped that Sydney had tried to keep in
shape in all the years at the Centre, for if he hadn’t he feared the worst.
Detoxification of any drug was quite a strain on all the body parts, especially
the heart. With this drug “detox” was even more of a strenuous affair. And
Sydney must be pushing 60, if not older. Jarod realised in passing that he
didn’t even know how old Sydney was. He knew he had been a young boy when he
was at Dachau, but how young… He didn’t dwell on it too long when Sydney was
having another bout again and he had to use all of strength to keep the older
man down.
By mid-morning both men were exhausted beyond
endurance, although one of them wasn’t aware of this right now. The cramps had
turned into small spasms, the fever finally stayed down, and it looked as if it
wasn’t going to flare up again, and the mutterings almost sounded coherent. At
least it was in English again instead of this strange mixture of French and German.
Jarod allowed himself to sit back and loosen his
own muscles. He hadn’t realised how stiff and sore he had become until he tried
to straighten up. The older man still packed a lot of strength, especially when
in the throes of fever. After a while he seemed to drift off in a normal sleep.
Jarod allowed himself to rest his head on his arms and to relax a bit.
The Cottage, around noon
When Ms Parker returned around noon she found
both men fast asleep and the cottage plunged in peace and silence. In the bedroom
she found Jarod asleep on the side of the bed. His head was resting on his arms
and his body at an almost impossible angle. Sydney looked very pale and wan,
but seemed to sleep fitfully now. Quietly she turned to leave the room. She had
thought that she had moved silently, but when she turned to leave she heard
Sydney whisper her name. She turned back and found him looking at her.
She whispered back to him, not wanting to wake
up Jarod, “How’re doing, Syd?”
“Weak, but better. How’s Jarod?”
Typical. Jarod was almost always foremost in
Syd’s mind, even when he needed the attention himself. A tinge of jealousy
touched Ms Parker’s mind. “Tired, I guess. He sat with you for most of the
time. I am sorry, Syd, but I couldn’t stay and see you like you were.”
“I understand.”
She felt embarrassed for no apparent reason.
She, tough Ms Parker, can’t sit down at a friend’s sickbed. He couldn’t
possibly understand. She was always in control, but she couldn’t control what
was happening to Sydney and therefore couldn’t cope with it. How could he
understand!
“I do understand, Ms Parker,” Sydney stressed,
seeing the embarrassment on the young woman’s face, “and I don’t hold it
against you. Remember, if it hadn’t been for you and Broots I might be dead. Or
worse…”
Jarod stirred awake, lifting his head wearily
from his arms and stretched. “Ah, Sydney, you are back again. How are you
feeling?”
“Weak, but better. Thirsty and hungry, I guess.”
A grin spread on Jarod’s face. “Definitely a
good sound. Ms Parker could you stay with Sydney, while I freshen myself up and
see if I can rustle up some food for the three of us.”
Before she could say anything, he had left the
room and left her alone with Sydney. She turned to the bed and sat down next to
it. When she looked over at Sydney she found that he was watching her almost
with sadness.
“What?” she asked irritated.
“You are thinking of taking him in, aren’t you?”
“Well, yes, eventually.”
“I’m not going to help you this time.”
“At the moment you are in no fit state to do
anything, Sydney.”
“True, but I think I will stop hunting Jarod
even after I’m well again.”
“You realise that your life at the Centre will
be finished than!”
“Isn’t it already finished? Besides I am getting
too old for all this. Early retirement sounds fine to me right now.”
“The Centre will never let you go, you know
that. You know too much.”
“When will they let me go? When I am dead? Most
likely, on second thought.”
“I know we’ve had our differences, but I value
you too much as a… friend to lose you that way.”
“Well, thank you, Ms Parker. Do we detect a side
of you unseen by human eyes yet?” the corner of his mouth turned up in an
amusing grin. Even as pale as he was it made him look much younger, boyish.
“Could you pass me the water, please? I am rather thirsty.”
She handed him the water, but when she saw how
badly his hands were still shaking by the effort of just lifting it, she took
it off him and helped him drink.
“Thank you. You might turn into a regular nurse
Nightingale.” There was amusement in eyes.
“Don’t bet on it,” she lit another cigarette.
“Where is Jarod?”
“Already tired of my witty conversation?” he
watched her fidgeting and suspicion clouded his mind, “Have you told anybody
where he could be found?”
“Not yet. I just don’t like the idea that he
might do a runner on us again.”
“That’s not like Jarod. You know he will stay
with us until he knows we’re safe.”
“Than pretend to be still sick!”
“I told you I won’t help you with this one.”
“You might not have a choice, Sydney!”
“There are always choices, Ms Parker, always.
Even if some of the choices we make are not good ones, there will always be
choices.”
The lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, which
neither wanted but neither wanted to break anyway.
Haunting Memories 2
The Centre,
Sydney's office
Gingerly he
sat down behind his desk. It had been three weeks now since Raines' attack on
him, but his injuries were still smarting. True, they were diminishing by the
day and it shouldn't be before long that they would be ghosts from the past.
Ghosts from
the past, indeed. The nightmares of the Camp still haunted him. That was
another depressing side effect of the drugs Raines had administered to him. As
if the craving for the drug that again ran through his body hadn't been enough,
the stowed away memories of his childhood came and visited him every night
again. Depriving him of much needed sleep and rest.
For years he
had been able to suppress those memories, now they seemed to be back with a
vengeance. He had enough self-control to stave the memories and the craving off
during the day and not let it influence the efficiency of his work, but during
the night he had no control over them.
He gave a
derisive chortle.
His work!
Sometimes he wondered if his work didn't have the same overtones as the
experiments they had done on him and his brother and countless other children
in Dachau. Over the years he had convinced himself that the experiments he had
been doing for the Centre where "humane" and bore little resemblance
to experiments performed in the Death camp, but part of him knew he was only
deluding himself. About twenty years ago he, Jacob, Major Charles and Catherine
Parker, but mainly the other three, had devised a plan to spirit the children
away from the Centre. To hide them from the Centre, maybe even try and reunite
them with their families. But the plan had gone horribly wrong. Catherine had
allegedly killed herself or had been reportedly killed by major Charles –the
stories and allegations became confusing and the evidence was worse-, the
latter than disappearing and Jacob met with an "accident", which left
him comatose. If it hadn't been for his enormous luck he could have been killed
in the same "accident", but he had been valuable for the Centre then
and had survived.
Than there
had been Jarod, Monica (-little Miss Parker-) and all the other children, who
couldn't be left alone with the Monsters from the Centre. And so he had plodded
on. Trying to keep most of the children safe and in his care, still conduct the
experiments the Centre demanded him to do and try and keep his own sanity.
For some
time now he had been having doubts about continuing working for the Centre and
not finding any solutions how he could safely end it without endangering
people, himself or the children and so he had let it slip by. But in the last
three weeks he had been reviewing the situation, partly of remembered dreams
and partly of guilt. Implementing his resolution was another kettle of fish.
He shifted
in his seat and was again painfully remembered that he wasn't his old self yet.
Raines would have been happy to observe every single wince and twinge,
especially since they had been able to come up with a plausible explanation for
Sydney's absence and stopped Raines from further scheming; for the moment
anyway. His thoughts drifted back to three weeks ago...
Cabin near
the lake in Blue Cove, three weeks earlier
After he had
been attacked by Raines and injected with a similar drug that had been injected
into his system twenty years prior, Miss Parker and Broots had whisked him out
of the Centre to this cabin. Miss Parker had then sent Broots to ground. Later
Jarod had joined them. Together they had watched over him while his system was
fighting the drug.
The next day
he was in a reasonable, albeit weakened, state and had an argument with Miss
Parker to get Jarod back to the Centre again. That day he had felt obliged to
go against Miss Parker's wishes to do so immediately and when Jarod returned
from the kitchen with some food and coffee, he found the two in complete
silence in the bedroom.
Jarod's eyes
twinkled mischievously, "Have I missed something?" The other two
stayed silent. "Let me guess. Miss Parker wants to send me back to the
Centre immediately and you, Sydney, don't agree with that. Considering the
situation I can understand this and appreciate the feeling. But let us eat
first before the eggs and coffee grows cold and I'll explain to you how the
both of you can be right and wrong at the same time."
"Eavesdropping
again, Ratboy?"
"Don't
need to, you two are like open books to me."
Miss Parker
frowned, than shrugged her shoulder and moved over to get a plate with food and
a mug of coffee before moving to the other side of the room to eat hers in
relative silence.
Jarod had
made a fried-egg sandwich for Sydney and had cut it into squares. Sydney looked
at it with disdain. Squares were for children! When he picked up one of the
squares he had to concede that eating squares was less humiliating than trying
to eat an open sandwich with knife and fork while his hands were shaking so
badly.
After their
lunch, which Jarod described as "less fun than a waiting room at the
morgue," Miss Parker asked him to make good on his word and explain his
earlier remark.
"It's
like this," Jarod started, pacing the floor and unconsciously (-although
Miss Parker noticed-) taking on Sydney-like mannerisms when he was in lecturing
mode, "Sydney is right. You can't take me in... (-Sydney gave one of his half-smiles-) ...immediately. (-Sydney's
smile disappeared, to reappear on Miss Parker's face-) At the moment Sydney is
in no condition to defend himself, mentally or physically, especially against
Raines. If his condition worsens again, Miss Parker won't be able to deal with
it on her own, a regular Florence Nightingale she’s not (-unconsciously all
three nodded assent-) and if he's in the Centre's infirmary... So, we'll have
to wait, at least for a couple more days, until he gets most of his strength
up. And it doesn't mean," he rounded on Sydney with a mischievous grin,
"that you can fake feeling too ill for an extended period. For one: you're
not very good at faking and two: Remember: I was a doctor once.
Taking me in
now, will leave Sydney wide open to attack and might give Raines the
opportunity to do away with him, probably even you and me; yes, maybe even
me," Jarod answered when he saw the questioning look on Miss Parker's
face, "Just because we were there to get Sydney out of trouble and know
what Raines did. I don’t know to what lengths he will go to protect himself. It
would make the whole exercise of rescuing Sydney in the first place a waste of
time and effort."
He now
turned to Sydney and looked at him with an almost wistful smile, "However
much I appreciate your thoughts of not turning me in, and believe me I rather
you hold on to those feelings, you will have to make the effort! (-Miss Parker
frowned, not quite following the reasoning behind this, but glancing over at
Sydney and seeing sadness appear in his eyes she reckoned that he did-) Not
trying to make the effort, both of you, will strengthen their suppositions and
give them the excuse to "cleanse" you both. I am willing to bet that
the wheels have been set in motion already to implicate all of you, including
Broots, in a conspiracy against the Centre."
When he
looked at Sydney he saw that the older man was trying to formulate a protest
against it all, probably thinking of a "honourable sacrifice" of some
sort. "I know you would rather face them, Sydney, than starting the hunt
again. But it is not only you; you have to be concerned about, but also Miss
Parker and Broots. Even if they only implicate you, how long do you think Miss
Parker and Broots will survive another hiccup in the Centre? Or they may even
believe that they might have anything to do with whatever I can cook up? Thought
of that yet? No, I believe you haven't."
The room was
silent, everyone alone with their own thoughts, seeing the reasoning behind it
all.
"So,
what do we do now?" asked Miss Parker, "You have brought up some
interesting points and thinking about it rationally I might have some
additional arguments to coincide with yours. You are right about Sydney's
condition," she glanced over at Sydney whose face was almost as pale as
the pillow his head rested on, "I have no guarantee that his condition
will not worsen again. Also, I really don't want the Centre to know about this
place. On the other hand I can't stay away from the Centre too long without a
good excuse, but how can I explain the absence of Sydney and maybe even Broots?
I forgot to ask him where I might be able to reach him."
"Leave
Broots to me," said Jarod, "When you are ready to go back, even if
Sydney isn't, I make sure Broots will be there. If possible I can provide you
with "breadcrumbs" to make them believe you were following one of my
trails."
"Is
that how you've been able to avoid us?"
"That's
for you to find out."
"And
what about Sydney?"
"I will
take care of him while you're not here. Find out if Raines has been putting
hints out about Sydney's absence. If he hasn't, you can always tell them that
Sydney is away on family-business. It might also be used to explain away his
injuries. He could have had an accident or been mugged while he was away. I
doubt if Raines has told them that he has attacked Sydney. It will be like a
poker-game between you two. I’d hate being in Raines' shoes." He wiggled
his eyebrows to lighten the conversation.
Sydney had
been quiet during this exchange of words. He was well aware that they were
voicing all the different options and angles and all he could be doing was to
rehash what they were mentioning in the first place. Apart from that, he was so
tired... He slowly drifted off.
Winter
evening, an ill lit road in Blue Cove, about twenty years earlier
"What
do you mean, you need a little bit more time?" asked Jacob, "We
agreed that it is set for next week." He scowled at his twin, Sydney, who
was concentrating hard to keep the car from slipping on the icy road.
"Not
now, Jacob. I don't like driving that much when the weather conditions are
perfect and I definitely don't like it when it is snowing. So, if you could
wait until we get home, I would appreciate that."
"No, I
want to know now. What is keeping you?"
"Oh,
very well! I have to trip the alarms in order that you and Catherine can get
the children out and I am not sure if it will work, my knowledge on that
subject is not one of the best. I've let Jarod run a simulation on it two
months ago, hopefully having it disguised it enough not to raise any suspicions
or draw attention, but obviously it is all untested."
"So what?
You yourself said that the kid was a genius."
"Yes!
But I'm not, at least not when it comes to technical preparations."
"We've
got Major Charles to do all that and he followed Jarod's sim to the
letter."
"Still,
I say... Let's postpone it for another week. Something feels wrong about the
whole situation."
"Another
week! You already had two weeks to prepare!"
"It's
not easy..."
"Are
you sure you want to go through with this?"
"Yes!
Just as much as you do, but unlike you I want to make absolutely sure we can
get the children out safely."
"Oh,
yes! I have no regard to the safety of..."
There was a
"thump" at one of the rear wheels, it must have hit something solid
on the icy road and the sudden lurch of the car stopped Jacob from going on.
Sydney had to use all his concentration to keep the car on the road. The car
swerved first to the left than to the right and didn't seem to be responding to
Sydney's handling. Instead of slowing down it looked as if it was gathering
speed. With a horrible realisation both men knew the car was beyond Sydney's
control and the sight of a tree coming closer did nothing to dispel this. Jacob
braced himself against his side of the car and Sydney let go of the wheel to
protect his face. Neither heard the crunch of the impact...
When Sydney
came to he couldn't understand where he was at first or how much time had
passed. It was quiet and cold. His head hurt and when he touched his forehead
it came away with blood. His left arm was hanging down feeling numb; he must
have hit the steering wheel with it. When he slowly moved his head to the right
he saw his brother Jacob leaning against the side, his eyes were closed and
small trickle of blood came out of his ear. When he moved over to touch him a
wrenching pain shot up his right shoulder, but he succeeded to quench the pain
and touch his brother's neck. There was still a heartbeat, but it was faint.
He leaned
back into the seat and closed his eyes. How long would it be before anybody
found them? Even in daytime this was a lonely stretch of road and Jacob needed
attention soon. He wasn't sure how serious their injuries were, but Jacob
didn't look too well.
He heard the
sound of two cars. He opened his eyes. Two cars from the Centre pulled up next
to his and four men came out and approached the car. They opened his door first
and helped him out of the car. Their handling was rough and he nearly passed
out with the pain. Two others moved towards Jacob's side and got Jacob out.
Sydney was put in one car and Jacob in the other. Before he lost consciousness
he noticed that the two cars went different ways. Where were they taking Jacob?
Before
passing out he shouted his brother's name...
Back at the
Cabin
Jarod and
Miss Parker hadn't noticed that Sydney had drifted off to sleep, they were too
caught up in their sounding out of options, until they heard Sydney shout his
brother's name.
"Now
what?" said Miss Parker aloud, "not another one of his dreams again,
is it?"
Jarod had
moved over to Sydney, who was moving restlessly on the bed. "Parker, hand
me a cold, wet cloth. He's burning up."
Miss Parker
ran out of the room, muttering under her breath, "Why me? Why can't things
just be simple for a change?" and returning quickly with a damp cloth,
which she handed to Jarod.
Jarod
pressed it to Sydney's forehead while he muttered soothing words to the older
man. He had no idea what Sydney had been dreaming of, only that it had
something to do with Jacob. After a little while Sydney calmed down and drifted
off into an easier slumber.
"I'm
going back to the Centre. At least there I know who the crazies are."
"That's
not fair, Miss Parker, this is not Sydney's doing."
"I
know, but maybe you can handle it, I can't," she was angry at her own
helplessness, "I will be of more use at the Centre than I am here. If you
can get Broots to come and join me tomorrow morning."
"I
will. I will lay the "crumbs" tonight. You can reach me at this
number," he scribbled a number down, "don't worry, it's a scrambled
line and I will be changing it when this is over. Nobody will be able to track
it down to this place. Don't come back here until Sydney's back. I will keep
you informed on his progress."
"Thank
you, Jarod," she said and with a small backwards glance she left the
cabin.
Since Sydney
was resting reasonably calm at the moment, Jarod took this opportunity to get
some things ready. He refilled the water-basin with fresh water and let a face
cloth soak into it. He placed a carafe of water nearby on the bed stand with
two glasses. He had already cleaned the bucket of Sydney's vomit and made sure
it was handy near the bed.
He went over
to his computer and started typing away, neatly backdating some of the files in
order to deceive the others of the Centre chronologically. Next he contacted
Broots through his AOL-alias of Samson, conveying the message to him that Miss
Parker expected him at the Centre in the morning. Than he sat down next to
Sydney’s bed to wait.
He didn't
have to wait long. Sydney opened his eyes. They appeared to be clear for the
first time in two days. He tried to speak, but his throat was too dry. Jarod
gave him some water.
"Jarod, I need your help."
"Anything,
Sydney."
The older
man was clearly embarrassed and blushed, "I need to relieve myself and I
don't want to soil myself or the bed. I think I..."
Understanding
dawned in Jarod's eyes. It was characteristic of Sydney's almost catlike care
about his personal hygiene. Jarod helped him out of bed and over to the
bathroom. Sydney was so weak that he couldn't have made it on his own. He had
to sit down to relieve himself. Jarod had to stay and keep him upright and
clean him afterwards. Although Sydney thanked him for assisting him, it was
obvious that the extent of the humiliation he felt in needing assistance in
this was beyond words. Still, he felt, it was better than soiling himself.
When he
passed the mirror he saw himself reflected in it and he was shocked at the
chance. Unruly, unkempt damp hair plastered to a hollow-eyed, sunken pale face
and sporting a stubble of over three days old. The bruise on his forehead, the
dark circles under his eyes and the fever spots on his cheeks provided the only
colour on his face. He nearly collapsed in Jarod's strong, supporting arms.
"Hey, don't
overdo it, Sydney," gasped Jarod when he kept them from falling. When he
laid him back on the bed Sydney closed his eyes nearly immediately, too tired
to keep himself from staying awake. Fortunately, this time it was a dreamless
sleep.
Some time
later
The drug
started to demand his price. Severe cramping of the abdominal muscles wrenched
him from his sleep. Dry retching turned into vomiting into the bucket Jarod
held under his face. One minute his blood felt like a thousand ants crawling
under his skin, the next minute it felt like fire coursing through his body.
His body demanded another shot of the drug, his mind fought against it. Sweat
was pouring from every pore of his body and drenched the bed in no time.
One moment
he was shivering with indescribable cold, the next he was trying to escape the
heat of fever. His heart was racing out of control and Jarod feared for a heart
attack. The pain that ran through his body and set fire to every nerve of his
being made him cry out. He was shaking badly now and totally unaware of his
surroundings. Jarod just held him close, rocking him softly to and fro, knowing
that this was the crucial time that would determine whether Sydney's craving
for the drug was too great, that he was going to make it alright or die trying
to shake it off.
Jarod hoped
he was going to be all right. Sydney wasn't that young anymore and his body did
take a severe beating the last couple of days. His previous weakness proved
that.
It took a
long time before the shaking subsided and shallow breaths slowed close to a
normal intake of breath. Jarod eased Sydney's body gently to the bed and
covered him with the blankets. He was sleeping peacefully now and it seemed
that he had the worst behind him. Jarod allowed himself to stretch his aching muscles
and take a rest. Jarod's own nerves were frayed to the bone with worry. He
dropped his head on his aching arms, resting on the bed.
Evening
He woke up
to the light touch of Sydney's hand on his own hand. He looked up and saw
Sydney giving him a weak smile. "Thank you, Jarod," Sydney whispered
weakly, his voice hoarse, "I don't think I could have made it without your
help."
"You
better thank Miss Parker and Broots, if they hadn't found you so quickly, my
being here wouldn't have made a difference."
"I know
and I will," he coughed and Jarod helped him sit up to drink some water.
By the way he was leaning heavily into Jarod, Jarod could feel how much the
whole ordeal had drained him. He had no idea how soon this weakness would
disappear. Sydney fell back on the pillows again and closed his eyes briefly.
"How
are you feeling now?" asked Jarod.
"Weak,
heavy. As if recovering from a bad flu, but better than before. Clearer, I
think, as well. God knows how long it will be before the craving for the drug
will leave me, for I can feel my body demanding it. Hungry as well, I
think." Although there was weakness in his voice and around the eyes,
there was also a glint of the old Sydney there. A small smile appeared at the
corner of his lips.
Jarod's
smile was a big boyish grin, "I get you something to eat, don't go
away." He rushed out of the room and left Sydney on his own. Yes, he was
feeling better now, but he also knew he was weak as a pussycat and the old
fears of being caught again or Jarod being caught while he was tending to his
former mentor gripped him with icy fear. "No," he said to himself,
"stop being defeatist it wouldn't do him, Jarod or the whole situation any
good I didn't get to this age or lived through all the hardship to be giving up
now. Have to get a grip on myself."
When Jarod
returned he found Sydney dozing, but awake when he approached the bed. He had a
tray with him with a steaming bowl of broth on it. "I know you hate this,
but I think I will have to feed you. You don't want the soup to be lying in bed
next to you, would you?"
Sydney gave
him one of his half smiles and let himself be fed.
After he had
eaten, Sydney asked Jarod what he had been doing lately with himself, if the
outside world had taught him anything, and so forth.
Jarod realised
that Sydney was partly asking this out of genuine interest and partly to fill
void. Jarod’s voice while he told Sydney about his last escapade worked very
soothingly on the older man’s nerves. It kept the craving at bay for a while
and the nightmares in the background. Sydney could remember how his mother,
before the war, would read to him and his brother Jacob before they went to
sleep. And slowly her voice was superimposed over Jarod’s. And with a smile on
his face he drifted off to sleep.
Jarod covered
him with the blanket and smiled, wondering if he could have told Sydney a fairy
tale instead of a true anecdote and still get the same effect. No, his voice
might at the moment only have been needed as comfort, but he respected Sydney
enough not to treat him like a child just because he was momentarily weak. He
walked into the kitchen to make himself something to eat.
A couple of
times that night Sydney would awaken, disoriented and hugging himself close
when his muscles contracted and his blood itched with the craving for the drug.
One minute he would be quite lucid and the next shaking with fever and being at
places from the past. But every time Jarod was there to comfort and soothe him,
wiping the sweat off his brow, holding him close, using his voice to soothe the
mental anguish, giving him water to drink to stop him from dehydrating and as
the night progressed these episodes were further between.
Jarod
believed that given time and no reintroduction to the drug Sydney should be
fine. His main concern now was to get Sydney’s strength up to par.
Early
morning
When morning
came Jarod was happy to notice that Sydney’s breathing and sleep seemed to have
become regular. His temperature had dropped to near normal, as did his heart
rate. Sydney opened his eyes when Jarod went through these motions of checking
on him and Jarod was again happily greeted with normal, clear, though tired,
eyes and Sydney’s soft smile. “Seems like you are going to be okay, Syd.”
Sydney nodded, not quite trusting the strength of his voice. “Fancy a bit of
breakfast?”
“Some water
first, please,” croaked Sydney, his voice sounding like his throat was treated
with sandpaper.
After they
had eaten, Sydney expressed the wish to visit the bathroom and although he felt
better than he had in days his body was still weak and he needed Jarod’s
assistance again. “Luckily Miss Parker isn’t here to assist me,” he quipped
weakly, “I am not so sure which one of us would have the biggest fit or feel
the most embarrassed. Pity she didn’t go into medicine. The medical world lost
a tremendous asset.”
“Sydney, you
can’t be serious! You must still have a touch of the fever. Miss Parker, a
nurse?”
“No, I said
she is a loss to the medical world. Can you imagine her staring down at the
poor, unsuspecting patients? I bet she can make the dead walk with one of her
stares. Maybe we should bottle it and sell it?”
Both men
laughed.
Jarod helped
him to have a shower by holding him up, Sydney’s sense of hygiene being a
stronger force than the need to lie down. Afterwards Jarod changed the bedding
while Sydney slumped in the cosy chair next to the bed, wrapped in a huge bath
towel, but looking better after the shower. He let Jarod tuck him under the
blankets again after Jarod had finished changing, still too worn-out to argue
against it.
Once having
settled Sydney down Jarod told him to get some rest, but Sydney, although tired
and knowing that Jarod was right, didn’t feel so inclined. After being asleep,
so he rationalised, for nearly two days was enough for any man. Plus, he didn’t
relish the thought of going to sleep and meeting the ghosts from his past.
He laid his
head back against the pillow and observed Jarod for a while before he spoke up,
“Would it have worked though?”
“Excuse me?”
asked Jarod, puzzled by Sydney’s train of thought.
“The escape
from the Centre!”
“Ah! Is that
what’s been preying on your mind. I don’t know, Syd. It could have, if we had
been able to hide from the Centre long enough, I guess. We will never know,
will we? It didn’t happen and the rest is speculation. Mrs Parker and Jacob are
dead and my father is still on the run. This is, what, after twenty-odd years?
The main players are dead and my father’s memory on this is sketchy. Why? You
want to attempt something like the other three thought up?” A twinge of sadness
and regret passed Sydney’s eyes.
Jarod
continued, misinterpreting the look in Sydney’s eyes, “You’re finally feeling
regret for working for the Centre for so long? Or the experiments you have
conducted for them?” He instantly regretted his words the minute he had voiced
them as he saw the look of anguish on Sydney’s face, “Sorry, Syd, I didn’t want
to say that.”
“I know,
Jarod, but you meant it though.”
Jarod looked
down, “Why, Sydney? After all these years?”
“It’s
something I should have done years ago, I admit that. We can’t turn the clock
back nor undo the wrongs that have been done. But if there is a possible change
of success, I think we should try it…” he nearly added “again” but thought the
better of it. After all, his part had been very small in the earlier attempt.
“Catherine Parker had reason to believe it could work, I don’t see why it
shouldn’t now. This time we have more experience with it and the workings of
the Centre.”
Jarod looked
surprised, “You knew about her plans?” and Sydney nodded, “Does Miss Parker
know that you knew?”
“No! At
first I couldn’t tell anybody. Then, when you escaped and the three of us were
assigned to track you down, I couldn’t tell either Miss Parker or Broots for
fear of being pulled off the assignment or have an “accident”. Now she will
kill me if I told her I knew all along what her mother had been planning. She
already tried it once when I merely hinted at it. I do not savour a second
experience of the kind.” Unconsciously he touched his neck in remembrance, “She
is much stronger than you would expect at first sight.” He lay back on the
pillow, clearly exhausted.
Jarod became
concerned, “You should rest for a while, Sydney, and we can talk later.
Sydney
nodded and closed his eyes wearily.
Late morning
The
remainder of the morning Sydney had slept soundly and peacefully, permitting
Jarod to catch up on some much needed rest as well. Normally he could do with
little catnaps, but the last three days had been very tiring for him as well.
He had fallen asleep in the chair near the bed and his cramped muscles were
shouting their protests. He looked over at Sydney and still found him soundly
asleep.
Carefully he
got up and moved to the kitchen to make some tea and see what he could do for
food. Luckily Miss Parker had her cupboards stocked up pretty well with tinned
food and the freezer had enough meat, vegetables and bread to last for another
week or so.
When he
returned, Sydney had woken up as well and seemed much better. The lines in his
face had smoothed out some, the fever spots were not as pronounced any more and
the bruise on his forehead was becoming less prominent. Jarod wondered how his
ribs were faring and voiced that question. “Much better, painful, but
bearable,” was the reply. Jarod wanted to check on it himself, but if Sydney
said it was bearable it could wait for a bit longer. His voice was stronger now
as well, so, Jarod knew he was on the road to recovery.
“Tea will be
ready shortly. Hungry?” Sydney shook his head.
When Jarod
came back from the kitchen, Sydney had propped himself up against the pillows.
Big droplets of sweat were on his forehead and it was obvious that moving his
upper torso and taking deep breaths caused him discomfort, which he pooh-poohed
away for the moment, but otherwise he seemed fine. They drank their tea in
silence, Sydney holding his cup with two hands, drawing comfort from the warmth
of the object and remarkably spilling little.
After they
had drunk their tea, Sydney allowed Jarod to examine his chest, wincing at
Jarod’s gentle touch. “It’s definitely bruised, to what extent I can’t say
without an x-ray, but they don’t appear to be broken. When you were in the
throes of the drug fever you didn’t cough up blood or seemed to be in more pain
than the craving expected. And when you moved about earlier your breathing was
shallow, but reasonable normal. It could still be a hairline fracture or a
small tear on one of the muscles. We should get you to a hospital to get it
checked further and to let it be taped up. You will be in some discomfort for a
while, though.”
“About last
night…” started Sydney when Jarod had sat down again.
“You mean
about another planned escape?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not
sure, Syd. Yes, I think it might be possible, but the Centre is like a fortress
nowadays, it will not be easy. How many children or people will be involved?”
“At present:
6 children under the age of twelve, this includes Ms Parker’s baby brother and
two in Raines’ wing. I have two teenagers under my care and Raines another two,
although, he had those two boys for some time now. I don’t know how cooperative
they will be or how much under his influence. Four adults: who had been
homeless, as far as I know, before the came to the Centre.
Than there’s
Angelo, we can’t leave him there. The boy has suffered enough as it is. If we
can get Broots to join forces with us, we also have to think of Debbie. If we
are going to take them all, it will be 16 in total.”
Jarod got up
from his chair, “Not an easy task, quite a lot of people involved.” He stood in
thought, “What are your plans with them afterwards?”
“Apart from
baby Parker, of three we know they have parents, we just have to find them in
the Databases…”
“As you have
been able to find my father!”
Sydney
ignored the remark for the moment, “…two others are actual orphans and of the
four remaining… I have no clue. They don’t talk about their parents, wards or
otherwise. They give no indication that they want to go home. (-“Like I did!”-)
It is disturbing that all four are under Raines’ supervision.”
Jarod
nodded, he could well remember how disturbed his clone was.
Sydney
continued, “If we can get the other three united with their families, that
would be a good thing. We could spirit the others away and hide out in the
mountains, set up a school or home there. Catherine Parker had arranged to take
them somewhere, but I don’t know where. Besides, if they had already figured
out what was going on, they might also know the location of Mrs Parker’s
destination.” Too late Sydney realised he might have said too much, damn his
addled brain and hoped Jarod hadn’t noticed the slip-up.
Bad luck,
Jarod wheeled on Sydney, “How much did you know or were you involved in
the earlier attempt, Sydney?”
“Not a lot,”
tried Sydney.
Jarod looked
hard on him, moved over to the bed and nearly lifted Sydney up by the
shoulders, “Of all the co-conspirators they did nothing to you? They even let
you continue working at the Centre? (-He was shaking Sydney now, who winced in
pain and tried to pry Jarod’s hands loose, to no effect-) How come, Sydney?
Were you the one who betrayed them?”
“No, Jarod,
I wasn’t, you have to believe me,” he was nearly shouting now, the pain nearly
blanking him out, “Jarod, let go of me, you’re hurting me!”
Jarod
realised what he was doing and let go of Sydney’s shoulders, he still wasn’t
convinced and looked with contempt at Sydney who was painfully trying to catch
his breath, each intake another lungful of searing pain. “If you didn’t do it,
than who did?”
“I don’t
know, Jarod, I honestly don’t know. I could never betray them! I could never
betray Jacob, my own brother! Surviving the Camp together, dragging him through
Europe and than over to America! Or Catherine Parker, whom I loved like a
sister. Major Charles I didn’t know, he was an outsider, I think Catherine
brought him in, but he was going to help the children escape, that was enough
for me. And finding out about him later, I couldn’t believe he was the one who
betrayed the plan. Oh, I had my doubts in the beginning, but couldn’t believe
it then and I still can't believe it now. I don’t know why they left me alone,
maybe they didn’t know about me or maybe they needed me at the Centre to teach
you. You have to believe me, Jarod, please!”
Jarod sat
down again and looked with sorrow at Sydney, “Than why didn’t you never tell me
about my father?”
“I didn’t
know he was your father and I don’t think he knew that one of the children he
was rescuing was his own son and when I found out he was your father, would you
have believed me if I told you that once I tried to get you of the Centre,
after chasing you for such a long time?”
“No, I guess
I wouldn’t. But why did you stay at the Centre?”
“I had to
take care of you and Ms Parker, I had promised her mother.”
“It’s all
very hard for me to take in. And why would you want to try again now, after all
these years?”
“It has been
on my mind for some time now. Up till now I’ve always found excuses not to go
ahead. You might think I’m a coward and quite possibly I am. But I can’t sit
idly by anymore, the policies in the Centre are getting worse and I’m not
getting any younger.” He coughed and pressed his left arm to his side, he
coughed again and seemed to be having problems trying to catch his breath.
Jarod jumped
up immediately, holding Sydney, trying to make him feel more comfortable, but
Sydney had problems taken breaths, pushing away from Jarod. Racking coughs
tearing him apart while he lay back against the pillows, finally it subsided
and he leaned back exhausted. His hands gripping the sheets, while Jarod let
him drink some water.
“I’m sorry
for shaking you earlier,” said Jarod, “It must have set this spell on.”
Sydney moved
his hand in dismissal, still unable to talk.
“Maybe you
should rest a bit, we can talk later.” Sydney nodded and closed his eyes.
Late
afternoon
During the
afternoon Jarod sat idly by, watching Sydney, trying to make head or tail of
what he had just learned. Sydney had his eyes closed, but only dozed. This time
it was the pain in his chest that kept him from dropping off to sleep, at least
the rest would do him some good. Jarod was wondering if Sydney hadn't been more
injured than was obvious at first glance, maybe Jarod's shaking him had rattled
something in his chest. But than again, Sydney seemed as fine as could possibly
be after the fevers had passed. Could he be faking it? Jarod looked closely at
Sydney without waking him out of his slumber. No, the lines on his face spoke
of pain even in sleep, that couldn't be faked. Besides, he gave a wry grin,
Sydney had never been good at faking or lying that well. Jarod was now
determined to get him to a hospital as soon as was safely possible.
Ms Parker
phoned later on informing about Sydney and thanking Jarod to get Broots to the
Centre. It was to Broots’ credit that he grasped the situation quite quickly
and together, not to mention Jarod's trail of "breadcrumbs", they had
come up with a plausible story to explain their absence and the continued
absence of Sydney. As was expected, Raines had come up with an explanation as
to why he and the others were locked in the basement and hadn't breathed a word
of his part in Sydney's disappearance. Ms Parker had to watch him and her step.
Raines could turn out to be a rather dangerous person at present.
When she asked
after Sydney, Jarod told her that he was doing fine and that the fevers had
passed, but also that he was still too weak to be driven over to a hospital to
be examined. It might take another day yet to be on the safe side. Ms Parker
was glad that he was going to be all right and rang off, leaving Jarod alone
with his thoughts and Sydney.
In his heart
of hearts he couldn’t believe that Sydney could have been so callous as to
betraying his friends, yet a little twinge of doubt remained. If it hadn’t been
Sydney, than whom could it have been? Had there been a fifth person involved?
He was determined to ask Sydney about it.
As to the
escape plan, could it be conceivable to make another attempt? And if it worked,
how could they insure to stay out of the Centre’s clutches?
A little
later in the afternoon Sydney arose from his slumber, pain was still etched in
his features and he favoured his left side, but he assured Jarod that he was
all right.
After he had
given Sydney some water, Jarod asked him if in the earlier attempt a fifth
person might have been involved. Sydney assured him there hadn’t been, at least
not as far as he knew. Both men were silent.
When Sydney
had to go to the bathroom his breathing became more laboured and with a look of
surprise at Jarod and without a single sound, he collapsed. “That’s it,”
thought Jarod, “I have to get him to a hospital now. This can’t wait any
longer. At least he is more or less free of the drug and if they didn’t take a
too close a look at his forearm he should be all right.”
He checked
to see if the collapse had been due to a heart attack and finding Sydney’s
heart still beating strong, but rapidly, he carried Sydney towards the bedroom
where he per functionally dressed him. He didn’t know how far he had to drive
to get to a hospital, which wasn’t too close to the Centre and it wouldn’t do
to let Sydney catch pneumonia on the way. He checked that he had a doctor-ID
with him and in haste he bundled Sydney into the car, trying to make him as
comfortable as possible and drove off.
Haunting Memories 3
On the road
Jarod drove
fast, but carefully, each unexpected swerve or bump in the road causing Sydney
to involuntarily moan saw to that. He drove North out of Blue Cove, skipped the
next town and the next village and than drove into the village of Horne Bay.
The sun had already started to dip towards the horizon when he arrived at the
hospital.
Horne Bay
hospital had a view over the ocean and at any other given day Jarod would have
paused to observe the majesty of that vast expanse of water. Now his main
concern was to get Sydney into the hospital and checked out.
All through
the ride, Sydney had not regained full awareness and Jarod had to ask for help
to get him inside. He presented himself as Doctor Jarod Mallard who had brought
his father, Sydney Mallard, in. When he made himself this new identity a couple
of months ago, he had to chuckle at the wordplay and some quip in his sense of
humour had made Sydney his father, should they ever want to check on his
background. He was glad he had done it now, so that when speaking to Sydney in
a more private manner or having to sign for his release papers later would pose
no problem.
Sydney was
quickly admitted and Jarod explained that “his father” had been mugged a couple
of days prior while he was on holiday and that it was only today that he
(Jarod) had found him semi-conscious in the motel-room. He had not thought that
the collapse was due to a heart attack but the result of the mugging.
The doctors
quickly confirmed Jarod’s diagnosis and send Sydney off for X-rays. A nurse
issued Jarod into a side-room to await the results, which weren’t long in
coming.
Jarod had
been staring out of one of the windows in the waiting room, which gave way to a
beautiful panoramic view of the Bay, when a young doctor, about Jarod’s age,
entered.
“Doctor
Mallard?”
“Yes.”
“Hello. I’m
Doctor McKenzie. We have just finished examining your father and have some good
news for you. You were right in assuming that he wasn’t suffering from a heart
attack or even a heart related problem. Your father’s heart is pretty strong
for a man his age. We have, however, found a hairline fracture on the fifth
rib, which must have caused the collapse. You may well be aware that since this
is a moving bone it will be hard to stop him from moving it, apart from
stopping his breathing for a long while,” he grinned and Jarod grinned back,
“but that is rather drastic measure. There is nothing much we can do, other
than taping his chest-section up to make him more comfortable and suggest
complete rest for about a week and than to let him take it very easy for a
while until the fracture heals up. It depends per person how long that is going
to take.
We did find
some strange bruising around the chest-area and the lower left arm. Has your
father spoken to you about the attack?”
“Not
exactly… I knew he was on holiday and once every couple of days we would ring
each other to make sure everything was all right. When he didn’t contact me
last night I went to his last known location and found him on the motel floor.
He was conscious for only a brief spell in which he told me that he had been
attacked near the motel. He remembered getting himself back to the room, but
other than that was a complete blank to him.”
“He might
have suffered a mild concussion, for there were no traces of extensive damage
to either the brain or the skull, even though he has a bruise at the side of
his head. There are also the strange bruises on his arm and chest. Does your
father take… medication intravenously?”
“I don’t
think so. He might take a couple of Tylenols on a whole year. He is not very
keen of medication of any kind.”
“Hmm… The
bruises on his arm might have another cause, but at first glance they almost
seem like injection scars. The bruises on his chest are a different matter.
They are strange in appearance, almost circular and mainly superficial, had
they been stabs by, say, a stick there would have been more damage below the
surface of the contusions, yet there don’t seem to be any. Ah well… Until your
father can remember what has happened to him that night we won’t know, will
we?” He was good, better than Jarod would have wanted. He had hoped to get the
“normal country emergency-treatment”, but this doctor must have given his full
attention to Sydney. Part of him was very glad about this and another part very
suspicious.
“No, I don’t
think we will.”
“Have you
informed the police about it already?”
“No, I will
when I get back, and hopefully my father can remember more.”
“Yes, I hope
he will. Would you like to see him now?”
“Yes,
please. How long will it be before I can take him home?”
“Do you live
far from here?”
“Not too
far.”
“I thought
you said he was on holiday?”
“Yes, he
was, I wasn’t. Although he might come and settle down around here in a short
while, once he gets used to the word “retirement”.”
“Sounds like
my old man.” Both men laughed.
Than Jarod
looked at McKenzie again with a question on his face. “Oh, yes, sorry, when can
you take him home… Well, since your house is not that far from here, I would
suggest tomorrow morning. I’d like to keep him in overnight for observation.”
When they were walking down the corridor, the doctor tried to make some small
talk, “I saw from the details of your forms that you are both doctors. Both in
the same field?”
“No,” Jarod
answered lightly, “My father is a psychiatrist and I am a General
Practitioner.”
“Hmm… Good
thing you are, most people go into panic-mode when something happens to their
parents.” They had reached one of the private rooms, but the room was empty.
“He’ll be here shortly. Is there anything you need? Or would you prefer to stay
in one of the guest-rooms?”
“To both
counts: no, but thanks anyway. I just sit with him for a while, if you don’t
mind?”
“Not at all.
If you need anything you can always ask nurse and should any problems occur
during the night don’t hesitate to ask for me.” Jarod thanked him and he left.
Jarod sat down.
When they
wheeled Sydney in he looked wan but awake. They waited, not speaking to each
other until the nurses had made Sydney comfortable on the bed and had left the
room. They had taped Sydney’s chest up and put his left arm in a sling to take
the strain off that side of the body. He still wasn’t breathing normally, but
it was an improvement compared to a few hours earlier.
“How’re you
feeling, dad?” Jarod asked, keeping the pretence going in case anybody walked
by.
“Better,
Jarod.”
“They asked
me if you could remember more of the attack on you?”
“No, I can’t
even remember what day it is.”
“It will
come back to you. Rest now, tomorrow I’m taking you home.” There was a tinge of
panic in Sydney’s eyes. “Don’t worry. They want to make sure you are all right,
so they want to keep you for the night. Rest now. I’ll keep an eye on you.” “And
keep watch, just in case they inform anybody of our presence here,” his
eyes were saying to Sydney, who finally relaxed and let himself slip into a
light slumber.
Later that
night McKenzie dropped in to see how his patient was faring and found them both
asleep, although the older Mallard woke up just before he left the room.
McKenzie moved over to the other side of the bed and whispered, to leave Jarod
sleeping, “How are you feeling?”
“Fine,”
mouthed Sydney. “Can you remember more of the attack?” Sydney shook his head
slowly. For a minute McKenzie was wondering if his patient had lost the power
of speech as well as parts of his memory, until he noticed the way Jarod had
fallen asleep. His head was resting on his right arm, but his left arm was
flung loosely over the older Mallard’s chest. If the son were a light sleeper,
his father’s talking would have caused the chest-area to vibrate and wake him
up. McKenzie nodded in sympathetic understanding, Sydney smiled back at him.
McKenzie left quietly, leaving the Mallards to their rest.
The next
morning they paid up the bill in cash, which Jarod had acquired just before
Sydney was ready to leave. They thanked McKenzie for his care with the promise
to inform the police about the attack as soon as they got back and left the
hospital. Sydney walked slowly, which pleased Jarod, with hardly any support.
Jarod
sometimes took to the smaller roads to make sure they weren’t followed out of
force of habit. When they got back to Miss Parker’s cabin, Sydney declined to
go to bed. “But you need complete rest!”
“Yes,
complete rest, not total paralysis! I’ve had enough of beds for the moment,
thank you!” The outburst made him gasp for breath, so he sat down on Miss
Parker’s couch, “Please, Jarod, I need to feel like a whole human being for a
while instead of an invalid. I promise I will lie down shortly.”
Jarod
shrugged his shoulders and went into the kitchen to prepare them some tea and
toast. When he came back into the room he found Sydney laid back and with his
eyes closed, but he opened them immediately when Jarod stepped into the room.
During
breakfast Jarod observed his former mentor and found him looking better than he
had for days, even his breathing had eased, but his movements were still
tentative. He seemed to have aged a bit since he had last seen him. With a grin
he said, “You gave me quite a scare there.”
“Sorry,
didn’t mean to.”
“You want to
rest now or…”
“No, like
you I want to talk about the escape-plan. Unlike you, I want to discuss the
probabilities of the now instead of the possibilities of the past.”
Jarod bowed
his head. Sydney was right, his obsession with the past sometimes hindered his
actions of the future. “It will be more difficult than it was then. (-“Yes.”-)
There are more children and even adults to rescue this time. (-“Hmm…”-) The
alarm system will have been improved and the security tighter. (-“…”-) We would
have to find new co-conspirators. Would it be people we trust? Outsiders? Or
from the Centre? Who can we trust, Sydney?”
“We could
try Broots, but he won’t do anything against Miss Parker’s wishes. It is Miss
Parker we have to concentrate on. Sometimes she gives me the impression that
she wants to put an end to all the Centre’s activities. At other times she is
more in favour of keeping the show going than Raines is. Although of late…
(-Jarod raised his eyebrow-) Well, what with Thomas being killed, her father
marrying and having a child with the woman who tried to kill him, finding out
about Lyle’s unsavoury… hobbies, finding out about her mother, seeing that the
Centre has made a clone of you, finding out about an unknown brother… The list
is too long to go on. Any normal person would feel cheated or betrayed if any
of that would happen to them. But Miss Parker was raised in the Centre, there’s
no telling what she might consider “normal”,” he took a sip of tea, wincing
when he sat back, “To give her her due, if her mind had been totally and
immorally messed up she would have left me in Raines’ “care”. She would have
send in the Sweepers to pick you up, maybe it’s because I’m her co-worker…”
“That’s
bull, Syd, and you know it,” Jarod said angrily, “I don’t think that Miss
Parker just sees you as a colleague. You have always been there for her. And
she must see you as a father figure, especially since her father tries hard to
ignore her. Are you both so thickheaded that you won’t admit it to each other?
Or even to yourselves?”
“I don’t
want to be presumptuous…”
“Presumptuous!
Sydney! I know you don’t go out that much. I know you don’t like to share your
feelings! But be honest with yourself! You have treated her like a daughter,
like you treated me like a… If we want to get her on our side, we have to work
on that. I am almost sure she will join us. When you tell her about her
mother’s initial plan…”
“No! I can’t
Jarod,” Sydney said with sorrow and regret in his voice, “If I tell her now,
she will believe that I either lied to her or kept her from her mother’s
secrets. She will hate me for not trusting her enough to have told her earlier,
and she would be right in assuming that. She will feel betrayed and she had
enough of that by others lately. Remember how you behaved last night when I
accidentally slipped it?”
“Was it an
accident, Sydney? Or did you want me to know?”
”I don’t
know. But can you imagine what her reaction will be? I think I can. First,
she’ll want to murder me for not telling her earlier. Than she will want to
kill me for telling her a “lie” about me and her mother and everybody else who
had been involved, just to be able to get her on our team. Next she might go to
her father and tell him about the plan, who will than kill me for being a
liability to the Centre and for knowing his wife better than he did. About the
last part I’m not too worried, but if he finds out, the plan will die an easy
death. It would have been better if we would not even been having this
conversation.” He leaned back exhausted. “Don’t you think I have not been
thinking about that scenario over the last years? I have and always came to a
dead end. First I thought it was pure cowardice on my part, but than I
realised, and still realise, that I just didn’t have an option on that part.”
Sydney’s
voice had dropped as if extremely tired and now he lay back and looked at Jarod
with deep concern, “If I could have done it, I would have done it last year,
but you know that it was impossible. Had Thomas lived, maybe than…” He couldn’t
continue.
Sydney’s
arguments and his knowledge of Miss Parker’s thinking made sense to Jarod.
Sydney was right, she would kill him (or at least severely damage him) if he told
her about his involvement with her mother. Her mother was sacrosanct to her. If
she thought her mother was a near saint and helping the children came close to
sainthood, than maybe if Sydney told her… not quite! “Why didn’t you tell her
sooner?” He asked Sydney quietly, almost accusingly.
Sydney had
closed his eyes, after his attempt to make himself more comfortable on the
couch had failed, to conserve energy. Now he opened them again with weariness,
“Don’t you think I’ve not tried? I haven’t done so for many reasons, Jarod. As
I told you before, after the intended escape, Mrs Parker was presumed death,
Major Charles (her presumed killer) on the run, Jacob in a coma in the
hospital, I was recovering from the accident. You were still children and I was
afraid for my life and my brother’s life.
I didn’t
trust anybody at the Centre and did what I was supposed to do: teaching you,
Miss Parker and the other children. Going through those… experiments,” he
closed his eyes briefly before continuing, “Then Miss Parker was sent to
boarding school and I didn’t see her back until after your escape. The joyful,
innocent little girl had changed into a ruthless, climbing executive. Broots
and I were assigned to her to find and capture you. Yet, over the last couple
of years I had the feeling that the sweet little girl is still hiding somewhere
within Miss Parker, she is just afraid to come out and show herself again.
Centre-habit-forming I think.
When she
came back, her mind was tunnel-versioned to the Centre and in particular her
father. He told her lies; especially about her mother, partly to protect her.
The less she knew the less she could stir and make life uncomfortable for
certain people.”
“You never
told her any lies, did you Sydney?” Jarod asked with a hint of malice.
“Not as
such, no. I might have withheld information. Sometimes not telling her the full
story and even misdirected her thoughts on occasion or kept quiet, but I’ve
never maliciously lied to her.”
“Call it
what you will, but a lie is still a lie by any other name.”
Sydney knew
he was right. Lying at the Centre wasn’t only habit forming, but also a
prerequisite and seemed like an essential part of your job-description. He
shifted his position on the couch and Jarod could see that he was discomfited,
but if that was the way he wanted it…
Sydney
continued, “Even the mentioning of your name made her break out in gleeful
pleasure or irate fury, depending on the occasion. You were in the way of her
reach for power, the longer you were on the loose the higher she had to
stretch. They had made her believe that the ones who had planned the escape
also killed her mother. What do you think would have happened if I had told
her? I also had to think about Jacob. And what if I wasn’t there anymore when
you would have been caught? So, I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell Broots in
those years either, he was too much under her control,” he stopped for a moment
to have some tea, but found his cup empty.
Jarod went
into the kitchen to make some more and was back in no time and had even brought
Sydney a glass of water, which was gratefully accepted.
When they
had settled down again, Sydney continued, “Then things started to unravel at
the Centre, secrets were exposed, Jacob had died and I was hoping against hope
that I might find a way to tell her and to win her over. But when we found out
about Lyle, she was determined to stay at the Centre and find out more.
When Thomas
was shot her determination grew into an obsession to find his killer at the
Centre. When I was blinded by the explosion and had to work with Lyle for a
while to survive and she found out I had planted the bomb, her trust in me
became quite fragile for a while. And to crown it all, the truths about her
mother…” He stopped too overcome by it all.
Jarod could
see his point. To divulge the truth now would be like an act of suicide on
Sydney’s part, or at least it could be. Although Miss Parker had started to
have doubts about the Centre, she had always trusted Sydney enough to show him
her deepest secrets and feelings, feelings she wouldn’t want or dare to share
with others. That he couldn’t reciprocate to her would make her feel betrayed,
not worthy of his trust, not part of him. That his fears were well founded
would make no difference. Jarod looked over at the older man and the anguish he
saw portrayed in his eyes gripped his own heart. For Sydney to admit and to
tell him this much placed a great burden on his shoulders and also made Sydney
more vulnerable to Jarod. For once he didn’t have a witty retort to what Sydney
had told him.
The two men
sat in silence for a while, each locked in their own thoughts. Finally it was
Sydney who said, “I think I’m going to lie down for a short while, if you don’t
mind. I’m tired now.”
Jarod helped
him up from the couch and Sydney walked to the bedroom under his own steam. His
movements that of an old man.
Jarod let
him have some time for himself before he followed Sydney into the bedroom.
Sydney had tried to get undressed, but finding the effort too much of a strain
he had given up and decided to lie clothed on top of the bed and was now
pretending to be dozing. Jarod wasn’t fooled.
“Are you
still thinking of going ahead with the escape?”
Sydney
opened his eyes wearily, “Yes, if it is possible.”
“I see that
if we want Miss Parker to engage in our plan, we have to use different tactics.
Once we have Miss Parker Broots will follow on his own. I don’t think he will
be a problem. To have her on our side we will have a tactical advantage. She
knows more about company’s policies and securities than you and me together.”
“More than
you, Jarod,” Sydney asked mischievously.
“Yes. Broots
will provide the computer skills necessary to disable all the cameras and find
the blueprints for possible escape routes. Better still, we can use Angelo for
the escape routes. His knowledge of the duct ways and the corridors is uncanny.
I would go as far to say that his knowledge might even going beyond blueprints
of the Centre.
I could rig
up an alarm-disruptor from the outside, but I would rather have Broots on it
from the inside. You are needed to get every calm and out of the building. Most
of them trust you explicitly. But I think we will need one more person to herd
them all out. You can’t do it on your own. We also need another person to cover
our backs.
My dad and I
can wait outside for you in two get-away vans. But we need a minimum of two
extra people to accomplish just the escape from the inside,” he glanced at
Sydney for approval and saw regret in his eyes, “Why the sadness? The plan
could work!”
“Yes, I
know, Jarod. At least a minimum of two more people. Suppose it works out all
right! Suppose we get them all out of the Centre! Suppose we get everybody to
safety!”
Jarod
couldn’t understand where Sydney was leading to and why he was getting so agitated.
They were discussing the escape plan, weren’t they? Wasn’t it Sydney who was
adamant they pursued this line of thinking? With luck they could even be
successful, couldn’t they? What about positive thinking? He frowned
questioningly at Sydney.
“The Centre,
Jarod, what about the Centre? (-Jarod’s frown grew deeper-) Who’s going to stop
the Centre from restarting their programmes, abducting other children and maybe
going to ground?”
Jarod’s
first instinct was to tell Sydney not to be such a pessimist, but he knew
Sydney was right. In that light, planning an escape sounded simple, might even
be easily accomplished. Jarod sat back and looked up at Sydney. The older man
stared sadly ahead of him. The strain of the last few days apparent on his face
and fever spots had gradually returned. How many times had he run the scenarios
through his mind? How many times had he come to a dead end?
Strangely
enough, Jarod felt guilty. How often had he accused Sydney of not caring,
staying on at the Centre and not doing anything for the children, the
“experiments”, at the Centre? Sydney was right, just “saving the children”
wasn’t the only issue here. The whole and utter destruction of the Centre
should be their main aim if they wanted to succeed properly and if they wanted to
ensure the safety of the children they were going to rescue and the unknown
children of the future.
Sydney could
live with that concept and, Jarod suspected, so could Broots, but there was no
way they would get Miss Parker’s aid in the down fall of the Centre. Maybe the
escape, but the Centre…
When Jarod
looked up again he saw that Sydney had drifted off in slumber. He covered
Sydney with the blanket, careful not to disturb him and than retreated to the
living room, certain that he could leave him sleeping on his own without any
worry. How wrong can you be? About an hour after he had left Sydney to sleep
and made himself comfortable on the couch, he was woken up by a scream from
Sydney.
Dreamscape
Darkness
surrounded him like a cloak wherever he turned, almost tangible. No, not quite.
There was a pinprick of light, just to the left and Sydney moved towards it.
With no transition he stood in front of the Centre, the massive building
towering over him. He looked at it with contempt. “Business as usual and another
day at the office,” he sneered, surprised by his own voice.
“Don’t you
want to go in, Freud?” he heard the voice of Miss Parker say.
He turned
around and saw her standing behind him in her most stern stance, a sneer on her
face. He moved towards her, but she lithely danced out of his way. Another
step, another avoidance. He gave up and stood still.
“Why are you
not in the Centre?” he asked.
“But we are,
Sydney, can’t you see?” she slowly waved her arms around. They were still
outside, but the trees seemed to be made of steel girders, the grass like
concrete and the bushes shimmered in a resemblance of desks. “There is no
escape from the Centre, Sydney. You can try, but you won’t succeed,” her
laughter was ringing in his ears when he tried running away from the building.
But wherever he turned normal everyday objects and landscapes were turned into
the Centre layout of corridors and rooms.
He stood
still, “There must be a way out. There has to be.”
“Oh,
Sy-ydney,” Miss Parker again. He turned around once more. She stood in front of
the Centre, the children and the people Jarod and he had been discussing
grouped around her. Scared faces stared back at him.
“You can
have these if you want them. We don’t need them anymore. We can have hundreds
even thousands of them if we want to.” With a click of her fingers a whole mass
of people of all ages was assembled to the right of Sydney, another click and
more were standing to the left of him. More clicks followed until he felt
suffocated by the sheer mass of them. Just when he thought he was going to be
overwhelmed by them all, there was one more click and everybody disappeared. He
could still feel their oppressive presence.
“Now you see
them, now you don’t,” Miss Parker giggled, “Have they gone or are they still there?
Are you sure of what you seeing? Where are they now?” She clicked again and
they were there, another click and they were gone. “I could play this game for
hours. Can you stand the strain?”
Sydney could
feel his heart hammering in his chest. He didn’t want to be here.
“O-o-oh, but
Sydney, you don’t want to leave without them, would you now?” The smaller group
of people were grouped around her again. This time he could even make out Jarod
among them. Funny, he hadn’t seen him the first time.
He moved towards
the group, but they seemed to retreat. Again he stopped.
“I give you
two choices,” Miss Parker started again, “You can forget about the whole deal
and stay with us. Doing what you do best, cowering and taking orders. I show
you what you will look like in a couple of years.” She waved her hand and in
front of her was a twisted replica of himself. He looked old and worn, sneering
insanely back at him. His back bend, all semblance of dignity gone. Stroking
the hair of one of the children in a mockery of parenthood. The real Sydney
shuddered at the spectre.
“Or you
could them and be damned,” she screamed. And with another wave of her hand
towards the group she made them explode. Bits of flesh and bones were hurled at
him, the blood smearing his face. Angelo lay cowering on the ground, his legs a
mess. Jarod was slowly stripped of his skin and crawled towards Sydney with an
arm outstretched, “Help me, please Sydney, it hurts.”
Sydney
backed away from the carnage, but they followed him and finally the scream that
had been building in him tore free. “No-o-o, not like this!”
When Jarod
entered the room he found Sydney curled up in bed, tears streaming down his
face. Great wracking sobs made his shoulders heave. Jarod walked to the bed,
gathered Sydney in his arms and tried to calm him down. It was a while before
he succeeded.
Sydney felt
rather embarrassed for showing so much emotion. “It was just a stupid nightmare
brought on by our conversation,” he explained away sheepishly, “It’s quite
silly to tell yourself horror stories before you fall asleep. This is the
result.” He grinned wryly.
Jarod wasn’t
taken in by the flippancy and asked if he could remember any of it, sometimes
talking about a nightmare made it go away. Sydney complied and told him as much
as he could remember. “You see, it was just a result of the conversation. The
fear of failing. The knowledge that it might start all over again. My fear of
not being strong enough to see it through. All basic textbook concepts. Even a
psychiatrist is just a human being.” He gave a sardonic smile.
Jarod knew
that the nightmare had shocked Sydney deeply, “But that doesn’t mean that your
fears aren’t without foundation. Don’t worry, Sydney, we will find a way. Give
me some time to think about it.” He squeezed Sydney’s hand and the older man
found comfort in it.
Later that
evening Miss Parker rang them and asked after Sydney. Jarod told her that he
was doing fine and that he just needed a week’s rest to get himself back
together again. She sounded pleased and relieved by the progress. It shouldn’t
be long before he would be back at the Centre again. When he said those words
he glanced over at Sydney and the overwhelming sadness that issued from him
almost made Jarod end the conversation. He looked away and continued talking to
Miss Parker, “He has a hairline crack on one of his ribs. We’ve been to the
hospital at Horne Bay and we told them a story that he was attacked by muggers
and couldn’t remember who they were. When we get closer to the time that he is
well enough, maybe you can use that story at the Centre and maybe you can pick
him up from a motel where I will be dropping him off. No, I don’t think it will
be a good idea to do it just yet. Give him another week to get his strength
back. And than it will be business as usual.”
He didn’t
see the shudder Sydney gave when those words reminded him of his nightmare. Had
he not himself told Parker a couple of days ago that there were always choices?
He just hoped they had enough time to make the right one.
When Jarod
finished the call, he found Sydney staring intently at him. “We have to do
something, Jarod. We can’t let the Centre continue with their inhuman
practices.”
“You are
quite right, Sydney, but what?”
“We have to
bring the Centre down!”
“Just like
that?”
“Just like
that! I know it’s not going to be easy,” he looked away for a moment and gave a
mirthless laugh, “Hell, it might be impossible. We might not even be around to
see them rise from the ashes again. But I know we have to try. Just saving the
children is not enough. They will just start the programmes up again. Of that
I’m sure.”
Jarod looked
up guiltily, “I have been gathering information on their activities for the
last couple of years, even downloading information.”
“I know, or
rather I guessed as much for a long while.”
Jarod looked
at him quizzically, “And you did nothing to stop it? Sydney! You have been
thinking along the same lines, have you?”
“Yes, Jarod,
I also have gathered information and for a lot longer than you did. In the
beginning it started as a security measure. I am not that naïve to believe that
one can work at the Centre and not be influenced by it or still be necessary to
the organisation until you die of natural causes or go on retirement. What we
are going to do with the information is another matter.”
Jarod looked
at his mentor with renewed admiration. Sydney had to look away, feeling
embarrassed. Jarod said with a smile on his face, “And there you had us all
thinking that you were the softest of the three. Well, Mr Mysteryman, what’s the
next step?”
“If I
already knew what to do, I would have contacted you long before to discuss
this, wouldn’t I?” Sydney answered, annoyed with Jarod’s inanity.
“Maybe.”
“No, what we
discussed earlier still holds. Nothing is changing that very much. I also
realise that by sitting back on our hands we are not going to solve the
problem. I am not sure how much time I have to be around to see it to its
conclusion. (-“You’ll live forever, Sydney.”-) Nice try, Jarod, but flattery
doesn’t get you anywhere with me. I am going to be 63 this year. Any other man
my age should be dreaming of retirement. It only gives me nightmares. With the
knowledge what they have been doing, are still doing and what they can do…” he
shuddered, “That brings us back to the first question, who do we involve?”
Sydney stared forlornly ahead of him, “We have to try and win Miss Parker over.
We might even have to tell her everything.”
“Sydney,
what are you saying? We just spend the greater part of the day analysing why we
can’t involve Miss Parker by telling her or what she might do to you if you
did. And now you’re telling me, we just have to tell her and damn the
consequences? Are you still feverish?”
“I’m quite
lucid, well - - as lucid as can be,
thank you, and you’re right, we will be damned with the consequences, whatever
path we take. We both know that getting Miss Parker on our side will benefit
either plan.”
“I know
that, but our earlier discussions have also shown that should she decide not to
be involved, for whatever reason, she could be our most formidable foe!”
Sydney hung
his head, “Yes, I know. And that is why I have decided to tell her everything.”
“She won’t
like it. She’ll kill you on the spot.”
“She might
and than again, she might not. That’s a risk I have to take. She also might
come to realise what a horror the Centre really is and what monsters dwell in
it.”
“What will
you do if she opposes the plan? Kill her?”
“I don’t
think so. Restraining her might be a good option.”
Jarod threw
his arms in the air and put a scowl on his face, which could not banish the
merriment in his eyes, “You really must have taken leave of your senses. First,
you don’t care that she might kill you, than you think it will be a good idea
to restrain a pissed-off, irritated, aggravated Miss Parker on your own…”
“Who said
anything about restraining her on my own?”
“…Add to
that a pissed-off, put upon Jarod…”
“I can’t do
it on my own, whichever way you look at it. You yourself have been toying with
the idea as well. We have to tell her before I go back to the Centre.”
“I really
start to believe you are out of your mind. You are hardly well enough to
undress yourself without breaking into a sweat. (-Sydney was embarrassed that
Jarod had noticed-) Even in a week’s time you will still be as weak as a kitten
and…”
“Stop,
Jarod. I have made up my mind. I either tell her everything before I go back,
with or without your help, or drop the whole plan.”
“You are
serious, aren’t you?” Jarod cocked an eye at him.
“Weren’t
you?”
“Yes, but…”
“Jarod for
years you have accused me of standing by the side, of following Centre’s
policies and hunting you down. Yet, secretly, I believe you enjoy being the
prey, being hunted down, being the centre of attention and making faces at the
Centre. “See how well I can do without you and see how many wrongs I can right
against your evil?” To you it’s all a game, isn’t it?”
“I wouldn’t
put it that way…”
“It is
a game to you, Jarod, a dangerous game for sure, but still nothing more than a
game, an extended sim.” Sydney could see the anger building in Jarod, but he
had to be brought down a peg, so in his calm voice he pressed on, “If it
wasn’t, why leave us all the clues to make it able to find you? Why do you keep
contacting me, insulting me at times.” Sydney’s calm, measured tones were starting
to penetrate Jarod’s armour.
“My mind…”
“Your mind
is brilliant. It just loathes boredom.”
“Revenge for
the years that have been taken from me…”
“Poppycock,
Jarod. Revenge was only a by-line to you.”
“My family…”
“If you
really wanted to find them all, if you really wanted to disappear, you could.
You know you can. Maybe you didn’t want to…”
“You…” Jarod
jumped up, anger blazing in his eyes, intent on laying his hands around
Sydney’s throat and squeezing the life out of him. To let him eat all the words
he had been saying to him.
Sydney had
been expecting this, as a matter of fact instigated it. He had to find out if
he could stand up to an anger-assault of “his children” and if he could still
control their actions.
During the
heated conversation he had gradually thrown the covers off, pleased that
Jarod’s mind was otherwise occupied, and now wasn’t hindered when he rolled to
the other side of the bed, out of harms way of Jarod’s grasping hands.
Jarod
clutched at empty air where Sydney’s throat was supposed to be. He snarled and
turned to the other side of the bed where Sydney had disappeared from view.
Only a small part of him wondered what had happened to his normal, cool
collected self.
Sydney had
rolled off the bed and grunted when, despite the easy landing, he landed on his
left side. He was out of breath and slightly dizzy. “Maybe I tried it too
soon,” he mused while he determined Jarod’s next actions.
When Jarod
got around to the other side of the bed he partly took in that Sydney was
trying to get into an upright position and failing miserably. The other part
had malice in mind and he practically launched himself at the older man.
Sydney had
rolled onto his back and parried Jarod’s attack with his right arm. The full
weight of Jarod crashed on top of him and knocked the breath out of him. Before
he could say anything, Jarod had landed a right-handed punch on his jaw. When
Jarod moved his right hand back to release another punch (-in panic Sydney
realised that it might land on his already battered ribs-), he managed to get
some of his breath back and in a commanding tone of voice said, “Stop! Jarod,
end now!”
As if a
switch had been thrown Jarod ceased. He shook his head in bewilderment and
stumbled off Sydney. When he looked down he stared in Sydney’s pain filled
eyes.
“I…I am
sorry, Syd,” he said when he helped his mentor up who all but fell into the
bed, clutching his side more tightly and breathing heavily. “I don’t know what
came over me. If you hadn’t stopped me… I don’t know what I would have done to
you. I’m sorry.” He was as pale-faced as Sydney and looked utterly dejectedly.
Guilt bringing tears close to the surface.
Sydney took
quick, short breaths and tried to grin at Jarod through his pain, “You have
nothing to feel sorry about, Jarod. It is I who should apologise. I pushed too
far, too fast and too hard. My own stupid experiment gone wrong, especially
since, as you said, I am not up to it at the moment.” He lay back into the
pillows, completely drained.
“Some of
what you said was true, I have to be honest. Maybe that was what made me so
angry. But not all of it!”
“I know,
Jarod,” Sydney’s voice sounded tired, “It was unfair to you, but I had to know
how you would react. I had to know if I could fend for myself. I should have
tried in a couple of days.” He coughed and clutched his side tightly.
“You
alright, Syd?”
“I will be,”
Sydney answered, his mind already drifting off after the exertion, “Just give
me some time to get my breath back.” Before he knew it he was asleep.
Jarod looked
down on his sleeping form with a mixed feeling of guilt, sorrow and anger.
Guilt of losing his control like that, even if Sydney had instigated it in the
first place. Sorrow for what this whole line of thought was putting them
through. And anger for the feelings and thoughts Sydney had risen in him. Even
if it was done as calculatingly as Sydney had intended, he had no right to say
that he had not been looking for his family and implying that they had not been
foremost in his heart and mind. Again he could feel his anger build in him and
made an effort to calm it down.
Sydney had
no right to weasel these feeling out of him. He was still as manipulative as he
had been when he was his mentor at the Centre. What if this was all a ruse to
get him back to the Centre? No, on second thought it must have been Sydney’s
Catholic upbringing and the need for absolution of any kind. How many people
was he going to bring down with him in the process? Jarod left the room leaving
Sydney to his own nightmares, while he made himself comfortable on the couch
once more to catch up on some sleep.
Haunting Memories 4
Run, rabbit,
run
The plains
stretched as far as he could see, stretching underneath his wings. The wind
ruffled his feathers and his eagle eyes spotted the rabbit running and hopping
in the far distance. He locked unto the target, tugged his wings in and
plummeted towards the unsuspecting prey. Faster, closer, right on the spot. His
talons were aimed downwards…
A short,
blank moment.
He looked up
and saw the eagle soaring towards him, his outstretched talons only seconds
away. Sharp, piercing talons griping his side, the beak came down…
And Sydney
awoke with a start, gasping for breath, sweat pouring down his face, his side
burning like hell. For a brief moment he panicked, but when he found the room
empty he lay back with relief, his heartbeat slowing down. Jarod must be
sleeping in the other room. He hoped that this time his dream had not woken him
up. They both needed their rest. The symbolism in the dream was too obvious to
dwell on or to analyse. He turned slightly over onto his right side and fell
asleep again.
Office
murmurs
He found
himself standing in his own office. It was quiet and dark. He moved behind his
desk and sat down. Somebody had posted a note to his computer screen and he
recognized Miss Parker’s handwriting. He leaned forward in his chair to read it
“Meet
me in my office”
short and succinct. He sighed, no rest for the wicked.
He stood up…
and stood in front of Miss Parker’s desk.
“There you
are, Sydney, sit down.” She sensually greeted him, a small smile playing around
her lips. “Feeling better now?” She didn’t wait for an answer, “I have heard
little rumours. “Nothing to worry about,” I said, “Sydney is no traitor!” Or
are you, my dear old friend? Or are you really thinking of blowing up the
Centre? If you do, do it right this time. The last one was rather a very
incompetent attempt. Or was it exposing? I can’t be sure which one they said it
was.” She looked quasi quizzical and put her forefinger on the edge of her jaw.
She stood up and was now slowly moving to the front of the desk where Sydney
was seated. She stopped in front of him, looking down on his guilt-ridden face.
“Oo-ooh, do
I detect truth in the rumours?” She caressed the side of his face lightly with
a fingertip, “Is Freud turning tail? When you bring the Centre down, you will
have to explain your part in it. Are you ready for it? A man of your age
spending his last years in prison, doesn’t sound too good.” She took a step
back, “And do I also understand that you have information on my mother? Which
is rightfully mine!” There was fire blazing in her eyes now, “What you want to
do with the Centre doesn’t really bother me, you know that, or maybe you don’t.
Which is it to be? But withholding secrets about my mother…”
Without
warning her hand lashed out and she hit him on the side of his face. “I should
have listened to my father. He said you couldn’t be trusted. (-Another slap-)
That you weren’t a team player. (-She lashed out again-) Had I known about it,
I would have shot higher in the Bronx.” She lifted her arm again, but this time
the dream-Sydney found the strength to stand up against her and block the blow.
Holding her wrist in his hand and forcing it down, away from his face. With the
other hand he found her other wrist and forced that down as well. They were
standing very close to each other and he could feel her warm breath on his
chin.
“Hmm,
Syd-ney, what thoughts are preying on your mind?” She swayed and gave him a
seducing smile.
He wasn’t
going to be dragged into her game and forced himself not to release her wrists.
She looked
up, staring intently in his eyes, “Where you this close to my mother too?”
“No, never
like that…”
“Had my
father any reason to doubt your trust then?”
“No, he…”
“You can’t
really blame him for finding devious ways to keep an eye on you at the Centre.”
“The Centre
destroys…”
“I trusted
you, Syd. I bet my mother did as well. I saw you as a father. Did she see you
as my father?” Her eyes were roving quizzically over his face and were pleased
when she saw the hurt in his eyes, “Don’t tell me you didn’t find her
attractive. Or me?”
“She was
attractive, Parker, and so are you. You are her spitting image. But she was
married and you are like a daughter to me. I wouldn’t…”
“Wouldn’t
you, Freud?” She moved closer. He looked down at her and her face twisted into
a parody of a fallen Angel.
He stepped
back, releasing her wrists and shouted, “Enough! I won’t let the Centre twist
you even more. Look at the truth, Parker. I dare you to tell me than that the
Centre is good!”
“Was it the
Centre that twisted me, Sydney,” she moved slowly closer again, like a
predatory cat, “Or was it you who twisted me. Telling me I’m a good girl, but
never stopping me from hunting your precious little lab rat. Never stopping me
from enjoying power. Not trusting me with your little secrets.” Jarod had
appeared from nowhere and was standing behind Miss Parker and his arms were
protectively around her. Both were grinning maliciously at him and coming
closer. He backed away from them until he could feel the wall in his back.
“We couldn’t
be trusted with your little secrets, couldn’t we, Syd?” They intoned together,
“We were just “children” you could reject, were we, Syd? (-Sydney shook his
head in silent protest-) Were we just part of your little secrets?”
He had
nowhere to escape and they came closer and closer… “No-o-o…”
He awoke
with a start, his heart hammering in his chest. Deep gulping breaths, which
only caused his side to hurt. He rolled over to his right side and squeezed his
eyes shut.
Jarod had
heard him the first time and deliberately stayed put. When he didn’t hear the
sound repeated he had turned over and had fallen asleep again. The second time
Sydney’s shout had been so heartrending that he jumped from the couch and all
but ran into the bedroom.
Sydney had
just woken up from a nightmare and was looking with fear at Jarod. Jarod moved
over to Sydney and calmed him down. He had the impression that he must have
been part of Sydney’s nightmare, for the older man backed away from him when he
approached him. “It’s alright, Sydney, it was only a dream. I am here.” Sydney
finally let him get closer and calm him down.
Jarod
wondered how long it would be before Sydney would sleep peacefully again and
how much of the nightmares could be contributed to the administered drugs and
how much to Sydney’s own present unsettled mind.
The next
days Sydney did his utmost to get his strength back. He took care to rest a
lot. He was determined to speak to Miss Parker and to speak to her with enough
strength that, should it occur, he wouldn’t turn into a weak old fool, should
she become violent.
Jarod was
concerned. He couldn’t deviate Sydney from his chosen idea to tell Miss Parker
and strangely, he really didn’t want to. Sydney’s dreams were still plagued
with nightmares even if they seemed to have abated a little. His side was still
hurting him tremendously, but he insisted on doing certain breathing-exercises
to speed up recovery. Jarod wasn’t sure that they were benefiting him much, but
if Sydney believed they did, the battle was half won.
Four days
after returning from the hospital Jarod had to go out to get some provisions.
The supplies he had picked up on the day they returned from the hospital were
running low. Besides, both men had a week old stubble and though both men
looked rather handsome with a beard, they preferred to be clean-shaven.
He announced
to Sydney he was going out and found him doubled over in pain, or so he
thought. He rushed over to help Sydney out.
“What are
you doing, Jarod?” Sydney gasped in indignation.
“You were in
pain and…”
“I was just
having some problems straightening up. I still have not recovered, but I
thought doing some yoga-exercises might help me along better. Guess I have to
wait for another couple of days.”
“Are you
sure you want to start doing it now? You should rest…”
“Jarod, I am
tired of the word rest, let alone the action. Stop fussing, do your
errands. I promise I will sit here very quietly until you return, Now go!” He
gave him a soft smile to take the sting out of his words.
“I’ll be
back soon.” Jarod left the house quickly.
Sydney
sighed a breath of relief. Being a bachelor all his life, he wasn’t used to
having someone around the house continuously, especially not a “mother-hen”.
Mind, he loved Jarod like his own son and maybe someday he would tell him, but
being mothered 24 hours a day… Even “family” could be too much of a fine thing.
True, given the circumstances, he needed mothering, but now that he was on the
road to recovery a little bit of privacy was preferred.
He got up
from the floor and winced in pain. No, strenuous yoga-exercises at this time
would have to wait. It wasn’t such a good idea after all. But he didn’t want to
wait too long to get his strength back. He didn’t want to lose the resolve to
confront Miss Parker.
He decided
to move to the living room and engage in watching mind-numbing television
rather than being bored by the four walls of the bedroom.
Pressing his
arm to the side, his sling being a nuisance at times, he flopped onto the couch
and reached for the remote control, but instead of pressing the ON-button he
tapped the device to his chin and surveyed the room. One thing he must say,
Jarod kept the place quite tidy. Miss Parker would have nothing to complain
about that. He put the remote down.
Ah, Miss
Parker. How should he breach the subject? Demure? Contrite? Playing on her
female instincts not to harm a weak, old man? A stab of remembered pain when
Jarod had pounced on him went through him. A repeat performance was not
desired.
No, whatever
the consequences, he would tackle it with resolve and strength, as the saying
goes: head on.
He and Jarod
had been avoiding the issue once it had been voiced. They had talked and
discussed a numerous amount of topics and subjects, but any mentioning of “the
plan” made them pull up short. Or rather, Jarod wasn’t comfortable yet
discussing it, which worried Sydney. He thought Jarod would have been elated
with the thought of bringing the Centre down. Guess he was mistaken.
Doubt of
involving Miss Parker started gnawing at his insides.
No, he had
to go ahead now. Once he had decided to take this road his sleep had been
plagued with the chance of failure and his apprehension.
When Jarod
returned he found Sydney dozing on the couch and waking up the minute he
entered. Judging from the dark circles under his eyes, Jarod wondered if that
was what he had been doing for the last couple of nights instead of having a
normal sleep. For the last couple of nights Sydney had only woken him up from
his own sleep once with another nightmare.
“You have
only been dozing instead of sleeping lately, have you Sydney?” Jarod stated.
“I have been
resting.”
“Resting,
yes! Dozing, yes! But not sleeping, am I right?”
“Why ask if
you know the answer? Just say, I don’t fancy my dreams at the moment.”
“Are you
positive you want to go ahead with it?”
“Yes! Part
of my nightmares is not doing anything. Maybe I’ll sleep better
afterwards.” Neither man voiced the unspoken thought “or be dead by Miss
Parker’s hand”.
Jarod
changed the subject, “I bought us a shaving kit. Do you want me to shave you?”
Sydney ran
his hand over his week’s growth and although he could take his arm out of the
sling he also knew that his hands would be shaking too much. He smiled at
Jarod, “That would be appreciated, provided you don’t do a Sweeney on me.”
Jarod
grinned his “boy grin” back, “I’ll promise not to cut you.”
Two days
later Sydney announced he was well enough to meet Miss Parker.
“Sydney, you
must be joking,” Jarod replied, “If you are well enough I am the King of Siam.”
Sydney bowed
in mock reference. “I can postpone it indefinitely, Jarod, or I can face it as
soon as possible. Now seems like a good time as any.”
“Now… would
be suicide. Physically… (-“I am well enough”-) you’re still too weak. Mentally…
(-“I am not mad, but lucid.”-) you’re totally unfit…”
“Are you
finished Jarod? Fine! If you could set up a meet for, say, tomorrow. Whatever
the outcome, I’ll be out of your hair soon.”
“But
Sydney…”
“No, Jarod,
the anticipation is hurting me just as much as the actual injury. Set it up for
tomorrow.” He got up and left the room, leaving Jarod in the living room
wondering where everything had gone wrong. He reached for his cell-phone and
dialled a number, “Miss Parker…”
The next
morning they drove to a motel near Horne Bay. It was normally used for summer
day-trippers, so it was all very quiet now. Jarod glanced over at Sydney a
couple of times while he was driving and wasn’t too happy with either his pallor
or the dark circles under his eyes, which proved another sleepless night.
“Didn’t get too much sleep last night?” he asked lightly, already knowing the
answer. A small “grumph” came from the right. “Why don’t you doze for a while?
I’ll wake you up when we get to the motel.” This time an affirmative “grumph”.
Renewal wing
The corridor
was dark. Only here and there a small light showed, which did nothing more than
emphasize the darkness. Why was he here? Which corridor was he in?
He couldn’t
see anything recognisable. No, Wait, this must be the Renewal wing. He gritted
his teeth in disgust. Oh yes, he knew this wing well. Hadn’t he spent some time
in there after the bomb blast? He moved cautiously forward, still unsure why he
should be here.
After a
couple of steps he came to a partly open door. He looked in.
Inside, the
room was almost as dark as the corridor he was standing in. A lone figure sat
on a cot.
“Who’s
there?” it cried. Sydney didn’t answer. “Ah, well, if you don’t want to make
yourself known, so be it.”
Sydney
wondered who the man could be… then there was light and Sydney recognized
himself from when he was being “re-educated”. Unshaven, unkempt, blindly
staring forward and wearing the same sweatshirt for days. He remembered how he
had hated that smell and the condition he had been left in.
The
dream-Sydney got up from the bed and moved towards him with a sureness of step,
which belied his blindness, stopping only inches away from him, sightless eyes
looking into his face. It was very disconcerting to see and it brought a smile
of amusement to him to know that he must have rattled some of his “educators”
composure indeed if this was the effect he must have had on them.
“Who are you
than?” the dream-Sydney asked, “You don’t smell like the others.”
“A friend,”
he answered quietly.
The
dream-Sydney snorted, “Are you going to let me out?”
Sydney was
startled, he was looking at the dream-Sydney, but the question was made in
Jarod’s voice.
It continued
in Jarod’s voice, “Please, Sydney, let me out of here. They beat me, they don’t
feed me and they leave me in the dark. (-it changed to Jacob’s young boy’s
voice-) I don’t want to be left alone. They will forget me. I am afraid. (-it
changed to Miss Parker’s young voice-) I want my mommy. Get me out of here,
please Sydney. (-a chorus of voices-) Please, Sydney! (-his own voice-) You
have to get us out of here, we’re being buried here. We’re suffocating,
please.”
The
dream-Sydney advanced on him and he retreated. The dream-Sydney stretched out a
groping hand and touched him… he was shrouded in darkness.
Maniacal
laughter sounded in front of him and he recognised Raines’, “The blind leading
the blind on the merry-go-round. Where are you going to lead them, Sydney, if
you don’t know where your are going?” Raines took him by the shoulders and spun
him around.
A cacophony
of voices surrounded him, “Rescue… safe… lead… help… please…”
He was spun
faster and didn’t know where he was going. He stumbled and fell…and fell…
Sydney awoke
with a start. His eyes moving rapidly from right to left. For a moment he had
no idea where he was. Then he remembered and allowed himself to lean back into
the headrest, closing his eyes briefly, before denying himself to drop into
another slumber.
Jarod asked
if he was alright and with a confirmation from Sydney let the matter drop. It
wasn’t too difficult to figure out what the dream was all about.
They arrived
at the motel around noon and made themselves comfortable. Jarod had used up all
the bread and prepared sandwiches before they left and they were eating some of
them for lunch. The motel room came with a kettle and they managed to make some
coffee and settle themselves before Miss Parker arrived.
“Last
chance, Sydney, you sure you want to go through with it?”
“Yes,” then
more definite, “I am quite positive.”
“Have you
decided what tact you are going to use?”
“Just go
with the flow, I guess.”
“Does this
mean I have to restrain her?” Jarod asked mischievously.
Sydney
smiled, “I hope nothing that drastic.”
“Will I have
to restrain myself?” Jarod asked softly.
“I hope not,
Jarod,” Sydney answered with less surety.
They sat in
awkward silence. For two people who had to tell each other so much it was
uncanny.
Miss Parker
showed up mid-afternoon. She was alone. “Hi guys. Hope you didn’t have to wait
long? Don’t worry,” she said looking at the glum faces and misconstruing their
meaning, “I switched cars before I got here. I didn’t see anybody following me,
so I think we are safe from the Centre. God, all these cloak and dagger games.
Even after all these years one never gets used to it.”
She looked
at both men. Normally they wouldn’t let her rant this much. She had been
worried about Sydney, yes, she knew he would not be jumping up and down –well,
at least not for a while- and she was a bit nervous coming here, hence the
ranting. But both men looked as if the cat had died after dragging something
repulsive in. She was a bit miffed with their reaction.
“Hey, you
don’t have to be overjoyed to see me, but at least a weak “Hello Miss Parker”
would suffice,” she now almost glared at them and Jarod wondered if their
initial reaction could jeopardise Sydney’s resolve.
“Hello, Miss
Parker,” he said belatedly, “It has nothing to do with you…”
“Yes it
has,” said Sydney softly and Jarod could almost hit him for being too frank,
“We are happy to see you, though, even if we might have given you a different
impression.”
She sat down
and faced them. Jarod seemed to be ill at ease, more than usual. She knew he
must still fear to be taken by her to the Centre, but she had promised a truce
until Sydney was well enough to return to the Centre. She wasn’t going to
renege on that.
Sydney
looked better from when she had last seen him, but it was obvious that he
wasn’t well yet. His face was still white with fatigue and the dark circles
under his eyes showed that he had not been sleeping well. Every time he shifted
his position she could see the ghost of pain flit past his face, even when he
tried to disguise it… badly. A sling supported his left arm and she wondered why
they had thought it would be a good idea for her to pick him up and return him
to the Centre now. Maybe they got on each other’s nerves, she mentally grinned.
“So, is
anybody going to tell me what’s going on, or are we going to play the
cat-got-your-tongue game until we die of old age?”
Jarod looked
furtively at Sydney and Sydney was desperately trying to find the right opening
words. Miss Parker’s patience was wearing thin. Patience had never been her
strong point and both men were stretching it to the limit. She lit a cigarette.
“It is
rather difficult to start,” began Sydney, shifting uncomfortably and not only
because of the injury, “It is rather delicate and I am not sure if you will
appreciate the knowledge…”
She sat back
in her chair, it sounded interesting.
Sydney
fidgeted for a moment, something she hadn’t known him to do for a long while.
It was so unlike him and she started to wonder what news could bring this on.
Finally
Sydney considered starting at the beginning might be a good place to start as
any. Maybe he had to muddle through with it and maybe she would get upset with
it all; he had to cross that bridge when he came to it. He sat back and started
to tell his story.
Sydney
relates
I was still
a young man when your mother approached me to work at the Centre. I had just
published my thesis on the education of possible super-children, future super
geniuses if you like. I truly believed in it then and so did Catherine.
She
described the Centre to me as a place, which strived to do good for humanity. A
place where scientists and doctors of all fields were trying to find ways to
eradicate all ills in the world, like poverty, starvation and war. A place that
was dedicated to finding solutions to everlasting peace among nations and
freedom for all, long before anybody ever heard of hippies and their ideals. If
my ideas could work to create super geniuses, their knowledge and skills could
be used to reach those goals.
It was the
beginning of the 60’s. World War 2 had ended and the Vietnam War hadn’t even
started, people were rebuilding the world. We were still idealistic and her
enthusiasm infective. I had not decided what to do yet and the idea of working
with children, testing my ideas that I had set forth in my thesis and at the
same time become a pawn to help humanity was too much of a temptation to refuse
and I accepted her offer.
In those
days the Centre was set to reach those goals, even Mr Parker was a most
dedicated man to the cause. Had you told me then that it would chance into the
monstrosity it is today I would have laughed in your face and would be pointing
out all the good things we were doing.
All went
well for a while and I was feeling at home for the first time in a long while.
Catherine was almost like a dear sister to Jacob and me, and the three of us
would often go out together.
I don’t know
when it happened, at least not the right date, but Mr Parker was approached by
the Triumvirate who saw more in the Centre than a load of do-gooders. It saw
the potential to amass power! Find a cure for a disease and sell it to the
highest bidder. Create a defence system and sell it to the most aggressive who
had just bought the latest weapons to try out on their neighbours. But neither
Catherine nor we knew about it until it was too late.
We were supplied
with gifted children, normally by spotters who approached the parents with
promises of a better life or career for the young potentials and the parents
were quite honoured to let their children be raised to become the next
generation of super geniuses, which parent wouldn’t. By that time it was like
sending your child to a private school without having to pay the tuition fees.
Catherine
married Mr Parker and we saw less of her at the Children’s wing. We saw even
less of her outside working-hours. She was now the Chairman’s wife and they
tried to make us believe that she didn’t want to see us because of that. We
didn’t believe it, of course.
Then Raines
joined the team as well. I had never really liked him. His methods were too
extreme to be viable. When I complained about it to Mr Parker, he said that the
Centre had to try out new ways to see if they might work better than proven and
tested older ideas. We weren’t happy with it, but who was to say if those ideas
couldn’t work. We should have known better.
When we
first realised that the Triumvirate was running the Centre instead of the
Centre running itself, we knew it was too late.
Sydney
coughed and paused to drink some water. Miss Parker sat very quietly, not
giving away any of her feelings and trying to determine where the story was
leading to. Jarod was just quiet. Neither of the two had ever heard the right
story of the Centre’s beginnings and were amazed to hear that it was considered
once as a force for good. Sydney continued.
By that time
they brought children to us who were in trauma of being taken away from their
parents and we started to suspect that they had not been taken with their
parent’s consent. Jacob left the Centre to find out what was going on.
It was in
this period that they brought you, Jarod, to the Centre and put you in my care.
It was with your coming that my suspicion grew. Your behaviour was not of a boy
who was just taken from his parents, it reeked of kidnapping. I was seriously
considering leaving then and find a way to expose the Centre to the
authorities.
But the
Triumvirate needed me to keep the project going and they knew they had to find
a way to keep me there. They staged the car accident that made me believe that
Claudia was killed in the accident, threatening me with a reckless driving and
murder charge. It kept me quiet for a short while.
You, Jarod,
kept me busy in those days while I was trying to cope with Claudia’s presumed
death. Not only that, but you were the first of all the children so far who
showed the potential we had been searching for. I must admit, it was pure
cowardice on my side that kept me working at the Centre in those days and pride
in my work. I hope you can forgive me for that.
Now I had
another reason I couldn’t leave or be “disposed” of. Had that been the case
Raines would have completely taken over and would have twisted my work into a
reproduction of his own twisted mind. A few times he managed to do it and every
time, on my return, I would find the children in complete distress.
Jacob had not
been sitting still in the meantime and had proof that not all was well in the
Centre. Catherine had also devised a plan to set the children free. They left
me in the dark as long as they could, thinking that I had now fully joined with
the Centre. It didn’t take long for Jacob to realise that this was not the
case.
Catherine
Parker came to me since I was also the resident company shrink. (-Miss Parker
looked up sharply-) The official complaint was that she had trouble sleeping
and thought it was a psychological rather than a physical problem, was the
official complaint. The truth was twofold. On the practical side we were able
to discuss the plan to get the children out. For that purpose I suggested that
we took out walks in the grounds, rather than have some of the sessions inside
the Centre.
The other
reason she came to see me was that her husband had a violent side to his
character…
At that
point Miss Parker jumped up and stood seething with rage in front of Sydney.
When Jarod made a move to get up, a soft touch from Sydney’s hand kept him
seated.
“You take
that back! My father never harmed my mother!”
“Didn’t he,
Miss Parker?” Sydney asked softly, “Think back to when you were seven years
old. You had to spend some time with your mother’s friend. Remember? Do you
remember why?”
“Ye-es,” she
said hesitantly, “my mother had picked up a cold or a virus and my father
didn’t want me to catch it too.” She sat down again, still glaring at Sydney.
“You can’t
remember their fight?”
“There was
no fight,” she said defiantly, “That’s all in your twisted mind.”
“She told me
and she showed me the bruises, Miss Parker, and how she was afraid for your
well-being. That was why you were send away for a short while.”
“That’s a
lie!” this time it was said with less confidence.
“No, Parker,
it wasn’t.”
She was
silent and Sydney continued.
Mr Parker
became increasingly more violent (-he ignored the hostile stares Miss Parker
was giving him-), taking his frustration out on his wife. (-Jarod was now eying
Miss Parker with alarm-) He must have been a troubled man himself in those
days, torn between the ideal of doing good and the attraction of power. He
never came to see me professionally and we all know which side won. But
Catherine was visiting me regularly now.
From what
she told me I gathered that by then his violence wasn’t that much physical
anymore, but became more verbal and preferably when you were out of earshot. To
justify it all he now started accusing her of having an affair with me. We had
to move fast.
“That’s
enough, Sydney,” shouted Miss Parker and before Jarod could move and stop her,
in one fluid movement she had leapt the distance separating her from Sydney.
Literally going for his jugular. The force of her jump toppled Sydney’s chair
when she impacted with it. He fell back with a grunt while Jarod managed to
stop her at the last minute to carry her attack forward.
“Sydney, you
alright?” Jarod called while he tried to restrain Miss Parker going for another
attack. A painful grunt came from the toppled chair. In any other circumstance
the situation might be called funny with Sydney’s feet scissoring the air while
trying to get up, as it was, Jarod was concerned about him. He looked at Miss
Parker and knew he couldn’t release her yet, a feral cat looked more placid compared
to her, Sydney had to untangle himself.
With some
difficulty he extricated himself from the undignified position he was in. When
he emerged from behind the chair his face was pasty white and drops of sweat
were forming on his brow.
“Are you
alright, Syd?” Jarod asked worriedly.
“I’ll live.”
Sydney gasped.
Jarod looked
at Miss Parker, “Do I have your word that you will behave yourself?”
“If he stops
telling lies about my father.”
“They were
not lies, Miss Parker. I wish they were,” Sydney slowly eased himself in
Jarod’s chair, pressing his arm against his side trying to downplay the pain he
was in, “Before the Triumvirate joined the game, Mr Parker was a good and
respected man. It was not easy for me when I learned about his behaviour the
first time. It is difficult to explain. It was obvious that he loved your
mother very much, but the physical evidence was against him. I really wish it
was a lie.”
Jarod could
feel Miss Parker relax under his hold. He let her go. She sat down in her own
chair and lit a cigarette. He up righted the upturned chair and sat in it, more
watchful now.
After making
sure that Sydney was as well as could be under the circumstances, they all sat
back to let him proceed, which he did after regaining his composure.
All was set
to go ahead with the plan, but somehow the Centre found out. Up till this day I
don’t know how they found out. I have been going over the days prior to that
date and I keep running into a blind wall. As far as I know there were only a
handful of people who knew about it. And none of them would betray what we were
about to be doing. I don’t know if we will ever find out who did tell on us.
One of
Jarod’s simulations was going to disable the alarm system.
(-“One of my
simulations, Syd?” Jarod asked incredulously-)
Yes Jarod. I
don’t know if you can remember running a simulation on the security system of a
government building. We had to determine if it was possible for anyone to break
in and bypass all the security codes. Your sim proved that it could be done and
we were busy finding ways to make it more secure. The Centre runs on the same
security protocols and your information was used by Major Charles to rig up a
trigger to disable the system.
(-“Oh,” was
all Jarod could say, remembering how he enjoyed that particular simulation-)
Catherine
and I were to work from the inside, while Jacob made everything ready on the
outside to get away as fast and as far as possible and find a safe house until
we could reunite the children with their families. Catherine would bring you,
Miss Parker, to the Centre as well to include you in the escape.
I wanted to
delay that date of the plan, something just didn’t “feel” right. I couldn’t
explain why, I only know that my instincts have saved me many times, but I
couldn’t put it into words.
The first
casualty was Jacob. Another car accident with me at the wheel, although I am
sure that someone must have shot the tire to let the car run off the road. By
sheer luck I wasn’t killed, but it left Jacob in a coma.
Sydney
paused. Remembering that fateful night always left him with a sense of loss and
pain. He took a minute to compose himself before resuming.
Even with
Jacob in hospital, your mother wanted to go ahead with the escape as planned.
She knew where Jacob had hidden the getaway car and where we were going to take
the children. Apart from getting Jacob out of the hospital, there was nothing
that said we couldn’t go ahead with it, bar my feelings.
Catherine
brought you to the Centre under the guise that you were going to play with Jarod
as a reward to him for completing a sim successfully. But the next victim on
their list was your mother. Presumably shot by Major Charles, one of the
conspirators who conveniently had escaped, while she was trying to safe the
children. You must believe me, I didn’t know it was all staged to look like a
murder and I did not know that she was still alive. I grieved for her, as I
grieved for a sister and as I grieved for Jacob.
I knew that
there was nothing I could do, at least not on my own, to set the plan in motion
then.
I plodded
on. All the people I cared for either dead or as good as dead.
I even
justified my work at the Centre now as a possibility to still bring good to the
world. As long as I could raise them with some values, maybe things would work
out different. Your friendship with Jarod was first frowned upon, but than it
was seen as a catalyst to keep him obeying to do the simulations he had to do.
As I saw you both grow up I regretted not having the strength to somehow go
ahead with the plan. I should have done.
“You would
have been killed had you done so,” interjected Jarod. “And where would we have
been now?”
“It’s what I
been telling myself all these years, but it still doesn’t make it right, does
it? Neither does starting to take pride in what I was doing. Oh yes, I am only
human and some of the experiments wouldn’t have been out of place in the same
camp where I grew up. Maybe they were less inhumane nevertheless they shouldn’t
have been conducted.”
“Okay,
Freud, now we know that you are a good person at heart and it was the Centre
that made you do it. Maybe Ratboy is buying it al, but I’m not. Oh, I admit,
you have good streaks in you, more than you should have working for the Centre,
but you’re not Mr Clean either, are you?”
“I never purported
to be “clean”, Miss Parker, I know I’m not, I am simply regretting that I never
took another chance to become clean again. Too long have I been rolling with
the pigs in the mud for that.”
Miss Parker
raised an eyebrow, “So, what are your plans. I don’t think you been telling us
all of this just to clear part of your conscience. No, wait, let me guess. You
want to stage another plan to free the children. That’s what it is all boiling
down to, isn’t it? Am I right?”
“Yes,”
Sydney answered without preamble, “and maybe more.”
“More? You
mean you got more up your sleeve and are now Mr Mastermind? I think Raines must
have knocked you on the head harder than we thought.”
Sydney
looked down at his hands and Jarod noticed that a sheen of moisture had started
to form on his upper lip and forehead. Well, he had been talking for some time
now and the attack of Miss Parker must have taken its toll as well. He also saw
that, although well disguised, his breathing had changed to more shallow
breaths.
“Shall we
all give it a rest for the moment,” he suggested light-heartedly, “I bet Sydney
could do with some, he has been talking almost all afternoon and my ears could
do with some as well. Some coffee and sandwiches everybody?” He just hoped
there was enough to go around. He didn’t fancy leaving Sydney alone with Miss
Parker to get something to eat and to call something in looked rather risky.
Sydney shook
his pale, tired head, “Coffee, yes please, Jarod, nothing to eat for me.”
Miss Parker
said she could do with something to eat and coffee while still glaring at
Sydney.
While Jarod
and Miss Parker were having their repast, Sydney leaned his head back against
the chair. God, he was tired. After Miss Parker’s attack his side hurt him more
than he cared to admit or show, even small changes in position gave him sharp
reminders. That, all the recounting and the lack of sleep had greatly exhausted
him and before he could stop himself he had drifted off…
To be free
They had
freed all the detainees in the Centre. The escape had been successful and all
the operatives unhurt. Sydney was elated. It worked better than he could have
hoped for. The safe house, the original house Jacob had chosen, was a grand
affair set in a valley between high mountain ranges. They could all be happy here,
well, for those who wanted to stay.
First
priority was to find the relatives. No problem there, they found them easily.
Sydney and
Jarod brought the first child, a girl, back to her parents, passing themselves
off as FBI-officials. The parents were so happy to see their little girl, it
warmed Sydney’s old heart, it had all been worthwhile.
They were
having coffee -the parents insisted- with the reunited family in the living
room. The girl standing between her two parents in front of the coffee table. She
was going to cut the cake while Sydney and Jarod were filling the parents in
with a fabricated rehearsed story. She picked up the knife, smiled at her
parents, looked at the cake and turned round to slash at her parents throats in
one quick movement.
When she
looked back at Sydney, the front of her dress and face were splattered with
blood, the hand holding the knife almost slippery with it. She smiled her
angelic smile at him. “Would you like a piece too?”
Sydney
screamed…
The
exhaustion on Sydney’s face was quite apparent to Jarod and he was pleased to
see that Sydney had nodded off and sleeping peacefully for the first time in
days, Jarod noticed even noticed that a small smile had crept around the
corners of Sydney’s mouth.
Miss
Parker’s voice drew his attention back to her, “Freud wants to free the
children, doesn’t he? (-a nod from Jarod-) And he wants my co-operation?
(-another nod-) Then he has a strange way of asking me, telling lies about my
father…”
“Why would
he lie about it to you?”
“To make me
hate him so much, that I couldn’t care less who will suffer when we get the
kids out. If we succeed the Triumvirate will make him pay for it. I can’t let
that happen! Neither can I let Sydney get away with it either.”
“After all
that has happened, you really believe your father to be incapable of such
cruelty? Who would you sooner believe, Parker?”
“Both have
lied to me in the past, or at least withheld information. I know, Sydney keeps
telling me, when I find out about any secrets, that it had been all for my own
good, but is it? So many secrets still buried. What if they both only tell me
what they want me to know, or believe, for their own benefit? How much of what
was said today is the full truth?
You believe
him, don’t you? I can ask you the same thing, after all that has happened do
you really believe Sydney to be incapable of lying to suit his own means?
Somehow in the last couple of days his conscience has been playing up and he
believes that by saving the children it will be wiped clean again and he will
be on the Road to Redemption. Has he fully considered whom he is going to drag
down with him?
How come he
never told you about Major Charles? I can’t believe that he didn’t know he was
your father. After all his work at the Centre, we now have to believe that he
didn’t want to do what he had been doing all these years? Oh, sorry, I can
understand that. He’s a coward at heart, one who justifies his cowardice by
claiming he did it to protect us, yeah, right.”
“In ways you
are right, Miss Parker. But what if Jacob had recruited Major Charles? And,
yes, Sydney does have a small streak of cowardice in him as have we all. From
early on he learned to be a survivor, it has become a basic instinct to him.”
“What? Are
you his shrink now?”
“Maybe! But
you have to admit, that if it hadn’t been for Sydney, then Raines would have
“taken care” of us and what would we have turned out to be? We have seen his
handiwork. Which would you have preferred to become: a vegetable or an
assassin?” He looked hard at Miss Parker. Anger was still smouldering behind
her eyes, but she seemed to have calmed down somewhat.
“At least
with the help of Sydney we have been able to become as normal as can be
expected.”
“I consider
myself normal, thank you very much!”
“Are you
really, Parker? Your relationship with men bears witness to the contrary.”
“How dare
you?” she hissed and glared at him, “That’s totally uncalled for.”
“Is it? If
it hadn’t been for me, Thomas…”
“You?” she
scoffed, “Why, you…”
A muffled
scream from Sydney stopped their bickering. His eyes had opened and he looked
in bewilderment around him, the dream not having completely left his retina.
Jarod and
Miss Parker both went to his side. He looked at them sadly before doubling over
in pain. They helped him get out of the chair and over to the bed, where they
eased him on the pillows.
“Rest now,”
Jarod said, pushing Sydney gently back in the pillows when he started to rise
again.
No, Sydney shook his head silently. The
dream-images, which still gripped his mind and the pain in his side making it
impossible for him to speak yet.
Jarod looked
over at Miss Parker, silently asking for her help. She came over to the other
side of the bed and laid her hand gently on Sydney’s shoulder, “Jarod is right,
you should take a rest now, Syd, even if it was only for a short while.” She
smiled awkwardly, embarrassed with her show of emotion.
Sydney
nodded and lay back in the pillows, trying to ease his breathing. His eyes
wanted to close so badly, God, he was exhausted, but the remembrance of the
dream forced them open again.
“Sydney, you
can’t go on like this. You’re wearing yourself out. You haven’t had a decent
sleep for days now,” Jarod spoke with concern. Miss Parker looked over at
Jarod, a question on her brow. Jarod shook his head.
Finally
Sydney spoke gain, “I have to finish, before I lose my resolve. I’m afraid that
if I don’t, I’ll be dragged further down into my nightmares and I don’t know
how I will come out of it.” Briefly he closed his eyes before resuming…
The last
couple of years the Centre has been completely giving itself over to the dark
side of science. This was further exacerbated with the coming of Lyle and
Brigitte and the rising in power of Raines. For a short time even Mr Parker had
a change of heart with the pending birth of his son.
Lyle’s
scheming nearly sent the Centre into a spiral of evil and nearly caused your
father’s death. A pity that the pull of power was too strong for your father to
resist for long. Than again, had he not clawed and schemed himself back into
the saddle, the Triumvirate would have taken over completely, this time with
Raines and Lyle firmly at the helm. That you father still hasn’t done away with
those two schemers is still beyond me.
Just saving
the children is not enough this time. (-“Here we go,” said Miss Parker-) Yes,
Miss Parker, you know as well as I do, that if we stopped with only saving the
children currently present at the Centre, they will start up their diabolical
practices the minute we get them out.
We also know
that this time it will not only be kidnappings, or have you forgotten their
cloning-programme? The abominations that were concocted in that laboratory… I
am not talking about the one good result they had, but all the ones before
that. I’m willing to bet that some of the creations which have gone wrong are
still locked somewhere in the Centre. There were not enough “spare parts” to
make up the number of failures they might have had judging from the evidence in
the laboratory.
Only
Pretender-“Material” is given in my care and some cases, which have to be
handled with care rather than bullying. The others are given to Raines to be
trained as assassins and Specials. I hate to think how Raines is training them.
He has tried his hand at creating Pretenders as well and Angelo is one of his
sorry results. He hasn’t got the patience to wait for several years to see the
result and therefore uses means, which are cruel to the nth degree.
“You mean to
say that there are more Pretenders?” Jarod asked surprised.
“Yes, none
as good as you are, but still on the road to becoming good Pretenders. And I’m
still helping them create to them,” Sydney hung his head in shame, “To all
intents and purposes, it’s what I am good at doing. It doesn’t give me as much
pleasure any more…”
“You
bastard,” shouted Jarod and this time it was Miss Parker who looked worried,
“After all that has happened to me. After all that you know that is going on
and the knowledge what they are doing with their skills, you still help
“create” them?”
“Yes, but…”
“Oh, yes,
you don’t feel the same pleasure anymore! You are just as bad as the others.
Worse, you know that what you are doing is evil. The others thrive on it. How
can you?”
“Do you want
me to say “No”? Do you want me to hand them over to Raines and his kind? In
this way I will be able to guide them to a more constructive rather than a
destructive way of thinking.”
“It is still
wrong, Sydney,” Jarod pleaded.
“I know!
That’s why I want to do something about it. It has been preying on mind for a
long time now. I know we can’t turn the clocks back, but we can find a way to
stop it!”
“How,
Freud?” chimed in Miss Parker, “When you talked about saving the children from
the Centre, I could feel some affiliation with that. I might even give you my
full support.” When she saw Jarod and Sydney look up in surprise, she
continued, “I have had my doubts over the years as well, you two are not the
only ones. Finding out that my mother was involved in the initial escape, tells
me there must be some good in it.
But when you
are telling me that you want to go one step further and expose the Centre and
the Triumvirate, then I think I have to stop you there. I would be the last
person on Earth to have to stand in your way doing it, but I will also be the
first person to stop you if your actions mean that it will hurt my father and
all that I have believed in for my whole life.
I realise
that what the Centre is doing is not completely above board, but it is also my
life’s work! My father is the Head of the organisation. What do you think would
happen to him if the Centre’s exposed? If the authorities don’t get him, the
Triumvirate will. What will happen to me? Or you? Or Broots? Thought of that
yet, Einstein?
I don’t give
a damn what happens to Raines and some of the others, and when it comes to
Lyle, I hope he burns in hell for all I care.
But I can’t
let you bring my father down! And he will go down if what you propose is going
to happen, one way or another. Maybe I should have left you in Raines’ care,
knowing now what you propose to do! For how long have you been betraying us,
Sydney?”
“I haven’t,
Miss Parker.”
“And I have
to believe that? How many times has your “clumsiness” saved Jarod from being
caught? Too many to count! How many lies have you told me? I can’t even begin
recounting. I bet you were even glad when Labrat here escaped.” She could see
the hurt in both men’s eyes, but she continued, “I trusted you, Syd, I really
did, but I’m not sure anymore,” she looked forlorn, just like the little girl
Sydney used to know, unsure of the whole situation.
Sydney’s
voice dropped to the soft voice, which normally surrounded her when she was
feeling depressed or rejected by her own father, “You can still trust me, Miss
Parker. You know I would do nothing to hurt you. If there is a way to keep your
father from harm I will find that way. But you also know that we can’t let the
Centre continue as it is. They are too much under the influence of the
Triumvirate now to be called anything but evil. We have to stop them before
they go too far and there is no way to turn the tide.
If it means
that you will have to kill me to stop me finding a way to do so, than kill me
now and have done with it. Because you will have to kill me to stop me from
trying to do what I think I have to do. At least, at your hands, it will be a
clean kill.
You can then
bring Jarod in and live happily ever after, knowing that the Centre is safe.
But you can’t stop me from planning the downfall of the Centre and the
Triumvirate.” He looked her squarely in the eyes, but she could detect a hint
of sadness there.
Sydney
looked at her and saw the dilemma in her eyes; she was torn between her loyalty
to her father and the Centre and the trust she had in Sydney. He hoped he had
gambled right.
She stood
up, her face as cold as ice and showing no emotion. Without betraying it in his
face, Sydney sent up a silent prayer, it was over. “Sorry, Jarod, for
failing you," he thought silently.
She stopped
at the foot of the bed and looked at him, "Do you really think you could
get away with it, Freud?"
He shrugged
his shoulders, not trusting the strength of his voice.
She reached
in her pocket (-and was pleased when she saw Sydney slightly wince in
anticipation-) and withdrew her cigarettes. “Let him sweat a bit,” she
thought. She lit one before continuing, "Did you really think you can pull
it off? And get my co-operation?" She was pleased to see that he was at a
loss for words. He had scared her as well, let him be scared for a change.
Jarod, not
realising the game she was playing, pleaded for Sydney now, "Miss Parker,
even if you don't agree or don't want to co-operate, you can't kill
Sydney!"
"Why
not, Ratboy?"
"He has
been the only one who has ever been there for you… us… Without him, who will
protect you? Who will be there for you like a family?"
"Don't
assume too much! I can protect myself pretty well, thank you. I don't need a
shrink or his pet-experiment to do so. (-This time she had hurt them both.
Good! Next time they might consider her anxieties as well-) Family? What sort
of family keeps so many secrets? What sort of family asks another member to
either kill or betray?"
When she
looked at their guilty and sad faces she couldn't keep up the charade much
longer and laughed out loud. Confusing the two men thoroughly, "If Sydney
can find a way to keep my father from harm, because however bad he might have
become I still love him, and to bring the Triumvirate down than count me
in!"
The sighs of
relief were almost audible.
Jarod ran
over to her and hugged her in the strongest hug she had ever encountered. His
face was almost childishly joyful. Tears of relief were unashamedly coursing
down his cheeks. She tried to wriggle out of the hug embarrassingly, but he
didn't notice and gripped her stronger.
"Let go
of me, you… you…"
"Admit
it, Miss Parker, you need a hug!" Jarod held her at arms length and smiled
at her.
She frowned
at first and than smiled back.
Sydney had
dropped back into the pillows, completely drained and not believing that Miss
Parker had just agreed with him and let him live. The gamble had paid of, but
how?
"What
made you decide to agree, Miss Parker?" He asked softly.
She turned
round to him, extricated herself from Jarod and sat down by the bed, taking his
hand in her hands, "You, Sydney. For the last couple of months I too have
been unhappy with the proceedings of the Centre, especially after Thomas'
death. First they stole my mother, then my childhood and then my lover. I
didn't know what to do either. As did you, I could see that the Centre's
objectives were becoming more evil. I can still remember the look on my
father’s face when Mtumbo showed who was the real boss of the Centre. The shame
on his face! Or that he had to go on the run himself to stay alive.
While you
were speaking to us, I could remember that Jarod has been helping me to unravel
the secrets of the past concerning my mother and that, for a while, I was still
thrilled with the chase but not the pleasure of capturing him. I could remember
that he was doing good deeds even while we are chasing him. He has to have
those values from someone. He wasn’t born with them!
I could
remember that you were always there for me after my mother died. Knowing before
I sometimes knew myself that I needed comfort or advice. Not that I always
wanted your advice or your comfort. Always putting my feelings, or others’,
before your own and I knew I couldn't kill you. Neither can I give you up to
the Centre, for if I did it would be better if I killed you on the spot. God
knows what the Centre will do to you if they ever find out. Probably a slow,
lingering death or brain damage if it was up to Raines. I knew I couldn't let
that happen to you.
Baby Parker,
sorry, Andrew… I want him to have a normal life, not the twisted ideas the
Centre will have in store for him. I don't want him to end up like Angelo or
Lyle.
I don't want
my father to get harmed either. It is true, he is not showing me any fatherly
love at the moment, especially not since Andrew was born. But as you have
pointed out to me so often, it is not because he doesn’t love me, but because
he doesn't know how to show his love to me. And I remind him too much of my
mother.
All things
considered, your idea of stopping the centre and the Triumvirate to extent
their power limitless is a very valid option. That means that you can count me
in." she looked up and smiled at his tired face. He smiled back and
squeezed her hand, too overcome by emotion.
Jarod moved
to the other side of the bed and laid his hand on Sydney's shoulder, he also
had a smile on his face, "You can count me in too, well, as long as the
Ice Maiden here gives me a bit of respite to think up a plan." Miss Parker
gave him one of her special frowns, which was normally preserved for Broots. It
didn't work on Jarod. "Well, since we all agreed, what can we do about it?"
"We
have to work this out in detail first. Think up a plan as watertight as can be.
Than move in. We can't make the same mistake my mother and… the others made or
we will never get the chance. We all let it rest for the moment and in about
week I will pick up Sydney. Would you be all right than? (-Sydney nodded-)
Good, that's settled than." She stood up to gather her things and shrugged
into her coat, as if she had just been visiting the manicurist, "I'll see
you by the end of the week than. Here? (-Jarod nodded-) Okay, Sydney, you take
some rest. And, Jarod, forget the hug, no repeats of that. Bye than." And
with a smile and a wave she was gone.
When the two
men were alone, Jarod sat down by the bed and looked up at Sydney, "Will
she really join us? Or will she run to the Centre and betray us?"
"Jarod,
we will have to put some trust in Miss Parker. Had I not had a small hope of
her joining us, I would never have told her. Or maybe I would have done anyway
and am suicidal and too cowardly to end it myself.
"Sydney!"
"Honestly,"
he took a deep breath, wincing when he was reminded that deep breaths were out
for the moment, "One part of me hoped that I hadn't misjudged Miss Parker
and the other part hoped that if I had done so, I wouldn’t want to live anyway.
She is right, though, I am a coward at heart. Clinging to life, as if that will
bring me happiness. You called it the Survival instinct, which is also true. It
is my sixth sense, my second nature, but I must admit I developed it almost
into an art form to live by. Justifying everything I did with it. But it isn't
right. Hopefully I can redeem myself."
"You
are too hard on yourself, Sydney."
"Am I,
Jarod? Is it right how I have treated you over the years? Is it right that some
part of me wanted you back at the Centre, while another part of me wanted you
to be as far away as possible from the Centre? Is it right that I am still
creating Pretenders? Hard on myself! That I have been pussyfooting around
myself is a more honest description."
“You did
what you had to do to survive.”
“And that
makes it right? No Jarod, it is not as easy as that. I know I have much to be
guilty for. I am not without blame. To even think that would be an insult to
both our intelligences.”
“But we are
going to set it right, aren’t we, Sydney?”
“Yes, Jarod.
If we can find a way to do it and to keep Mr Parker safe as well, we will.”
“It will be
difficult!”
“More
difficult than it would have been in the past.”
“Do you
think Miss Parker will give us enough time to think up a plan?”
“I think she
will. She is unhappy too.”
Sydney could
see that Jarod was already using his Pretender-skills to start forming a plan
and he had no doubt that this time they would succeed.
For the
first time in days he relaxed and let himself drift off to sleep and the
nightmares stayed away.
This time
they had to succeed!
THE END