Hi, this is the report of my time in America/Scapercon (initially written for the Cohorts)

 

ScaperCon 2003 – Chicago, 1 – 3 August, 2003

by GitonCrais

 

Getting to the ScaperCon was quite an experience I do not really like to remember. Set off to go to Chicago on Tuesday the 29th. Leaving from Holland to Heathrow to Chicago. Easy as pie. No? No! Plane to London is delayed by 40 minutes, no problems. On the tarmac and in the air for another extra hour, big problem! Missed the plane to Chicago by one minute.

The next plane (after negotiations, getting red in the face and teaching them Sebacean explicates – they wanted me to take the one who leaves next week) leaves at 9:20 the next morning. I’m on it. That plane leaves one hour late (why couldn’t that have happened the night before?). It nearly didn’t take off because of the ‘cooling’-problem. It was suggested to take another plane or ‘shall we just suffer a little and take off’? I think I’m not the only one who missed the plane the day before and it is decided that we’d chance it.

Managed to correct and finish one of my stories (unfortunately, the corrected pages got lost in the hotel). Only arrived seventeen hours later than planned in Chicago.

 

Hey, I’m still chipper. I am in Chicago airport, going to meet friends whose faces I do not know or have only seen as a picture on the net and see Lani, what else can one ask for? That’s when I learn the next stage of travelling to America. Do not smile, do not say “Hi” and, by Cholok, do not look anywhere near Mediterranean to Chinese!

“Step aside, please!” After having checked my passport against my face at least ten times. “Only one bag? And you are going to stay here for one-and-a-half weeks?” Taken to the side, open bag etc. etc. One doesn’t need the aggro. One now starts to slowly acquire a Crais-scowl.

It doesn’t help that the security men can’t believe (it was pointed out to me by one of the men) that a female can pack enough T-shirts, socks, undies and a pair of trousers for 1.5 weeks plus toiletries, goodies, writing materials and presents in one carry-on bag, which is normally used to carry a laptop (have no laptop, the bag is that size). One security man wondered if his wife could be taught to pack like that (LoL).

 

Met the friends I play my RPG’s with, Samm (PilatesGirl), Dawn (PK_Capt_Sun) and Margaret (WykedMoon) and see quite a bit of Chicago. Samm and her friend Heather are showing us around. Great place, sweltering hot.

Go to the Aquarium, which is a cool place to go if you like fish (of the alive-variety). The architecture in Chicago is great, modern and some buildings are so ugly they become beautiful. I am well aware, that the last statement doesn’t make much sense but that’s how it looked to me.

Tried “freshly squeezed lemonade” on the waterfront. I know, most Americans start to titter now but I had to know what it tasted like. You read about it and such. Take my word for it: it made me look like a gurner! To explain: try and bring bridge above nose closer toward tip of nose and at the same time trying to gag and gasp for air. Not a very nice experience but one not to be missed if you never tried it. Watched the tall ships on the waterfront. Had a nice barbeque at Samm’s parents house. Very friendly people, made us all feel very welcome.

 

One thing that I found strange and was a new experience to me, was how short the days are in Chicago. This is the height of summer and the sun had disappeared by 8 PM, not to be seen until shortly before 7AM. Where I live, Holland, the last rays of the sun finally disappear by 11PM and the sun is looking around the corner before 5AM

 

Wednesday night and Thursday night found an unhappy camper in the room: me!

My two roomies (Dawn and Margaret) go to sleep early, 11PM and don’t wake up until 7AM. Aarrrgh! And they sleep in pitch darkness. So, I wake up at 2AM, and I am wide-awake and bored. There is only one thing to do, take pillows to the bathroom and read a book while sitting on the floor. Then get dressed at 7AM. Had I known that the bar was open, I could have gone down and partied already. Therefore missed Lani’s dancing on Thursday. Grrrr!

 

Apart from seeing the Glorious Lani and having our brains turn to mush while we're still trying to tell ourselves that we are mature, intelligent women who would not fall that easy for a dark velvety voice, a beautiful smile and dark penetrating eyes and then speak perfect Sebacean in his presence, we have a little good news to share before we really start telling you all about our little exploits here.

The Overall best story (and surprisingly: a Crais story! and not another shippy Aeryn and John show story), was won by none other than our own NMCrichton!!! Congratulations to our fellow Cohort.

 

Friday, August 1, 2003

Had breakfast in a small restaurant, what would be considered a family-cafe in England. We went there on Thursday as well and enjoyed the food there. Closest to a fry-up you can get.

 

Stood in line to register (or rather pick up my tag). Saw Lani walk past. Not easy to recognise at first sight. Short hair, funky glasses, a neatly trimmed beard that follows his jaw line now and slimmer, moves like a cat. It’s his magnetism that draws your attention if you haven’t spotted him yet. I try and tell the others but they don’t listen. Toughski! I let my eyes feast in silence. That man is poetry to watch. I like poetry!

 

On his appearance: his short hair suits him and shows up his many fine curls. His new beard is growing out to form a trim along the jaw line, shows a strong jaw line and looks absolutely stunning. His eyes are so dark brown, they almost look black and his very slim waist only perfects the picture (where is the Cohort’s Freezer when you need it?). As I said, sheer poetry.

 

Registration is done and I miss Bianca’s Q&A due to babysitting an x-amount of bags (not mine, remember I travel light) for two hours while we are getting re-allocated from room 1028 to room 809. My two roomies are listening to Bianca and don’t turn up until 2:30 PM. Re-allocated. Good. They stay in the room since Dawn wanted to change in her PK-outfit.

 

Taking Lani’s present with me down to the autograph room (two T-shirts with own drawn designs). Meet CraisIsMine (Maryanne) and have a nice little chat, well, nearly an hour. I like her immediately. It feels as if we have been friends for years and are just re-acquainting ourselves. She comes with me to present my presents to Lani after her stint as a DRD (DRDs: volunteer-helpers at the Convention) at the arts table. The line for the autographs is getting smaller too.

Be still my thumping heart. I’m supposed to be cool, calm, collected… in my dreams! “Would Lani like the T-shirts? Am I silly to give him these? Maybe he hates it!” My thoughts are my own worst enemy.

 

CraisIsMine is walking next to me and Bexa (or was it CraisTralk? Mind is feeling feverish). Lani spots us and his face lights up in a smile, “The whole gang’s here!” We grin quite sillily. By Cholok he looks gorgeous! Especially when he smiles.

Manage to shuffle forward and give him the package, “This is for you.”

“Can I open it now?”

“Yes, please.” Speech is slowly deluding me. I can feel the blood rise to my face and I must be beet-red (titters from the Cohorts behind me, confirm this). Where is the cool, collected me? She fainted in my mind and left me facing Lani on my own (and a couple of Cohorts). He likes the T-shirts and is showing them off to Jonathan and the others, posing with them. I hope someone took better shots of him of that moment than I did. You would think an earthquake happened when you see my pictures.

He should be bottled and used as a cure for low blood-pressure. No chemicals involved and an easy way to learn how to speak Sebacean fluently without language-courses.

 

I am wearing the fan club T-shirt and he replies, “Haven’t seen it yet but it comes up quite nicely.” His smile can melt butter and I grin inanely.

In the whole consternation I haven’t been able to follow the instructions on the tickets. Got myself a picture, which has Lani, David, Rebecca and Wayne on. Continue to speak perfect Sebacean to Lani when I ask him to sign the new pictures of him and his picture in the blue-what’s-it-shirt (Mambo-shirt, I think they call it). He smiles and pretends to understand my attempts to mix Erp-speak with Sebacean and a smitten of Scarran.

It isn’t until I get past Jonathan, Anthony, Wayne and David that I realise that: One: I haven’t paid yet for any of the pictures and autographs, Two: no tickets for the photo’s with Lani and Three: I want more pictures and pictures taken. Back in line, a very short line. Don’t worry, have another look at the glorious Lani, just have to remember to turn the brain back on.

“Back again?” He smiles gently.

“Yes. I want some photo’s taken with you too.”

“Of course.”

I’m glad I didn’t drop everything on the floor. One photo taken but before the DRD can step back Lani tells him to take another picture, this time “standing up” (full picture).

He feels good, smells good, looks lovely, his beard looks perfect. His voice… The Cohorts are keeping my sanity together. I hope to return the favour.

 

Dawn comes down dressed in her PK-outfit and does the round on the autographs. She disappears shortly after that and has gone upstairs.

 

So, we hung out in the lobby and have a small snack, don’t think I can eat a lot at the moment anyway. Within a very short time, we (CraisIsMine, CraisTralk and I) are joined by other Cohorts (Reflady and Bexa). It feels strange to have so many people on the lookout for me. Still, I am easy to recognise. I wear Lani proudly on the front of my T-shirt. Already had an altercation earlier on in the day. “Oh, look, someone who likes Crais. Ha-ha!” “Yes, and proud of it, got a problem with that?” How come the Cohorts accept everyone but some others don’t?

 

Hanging out with an ever-growing group of Cohorts (we are now also joined by Missee, PK Librarian and PK) until it is time for CraisIsMine and some of the others to go to rehearsals for the Scaper Musical, some others are going upstairs.

 

CraisTralk and I are staying in the lobby and talk about all sorts, soon joined by Bexa and one of the dealers (a big man) who seemed to think that it was his duty to regale us with “toilet”-stories of Europe (groan). CraisTralk and I drank in the bar until we were joined by CraisIsMine at midnight. We went up at 1AM.

Woke at 6AM (slept in), spend a little time reading in the bathroom. Finally dressed at 7AM and was down in the lobby soon after that.

 

Saturday, August 2, 2003

Talked to PK for a while, thinking she was CraisTralk. I really had to get that brain in gear. Joined Dawn and Margaret for breakfast. We went to get donuts. Wrong! No sit-down, where are the eggs, where’s the food? We take it to the hotel with us, I like sweets but not for breakfast.

 

The musical is on. It’s Farscape meets Grease. It’s fantastic! The dialogue is funny and the music great. The storyline is in true shippy Farscape fashion. CraisIsMine is playing Aeryn. The fun-thread was hearing Crichton off stage saying (over and over at intervals), “Wormhole opening in… five... four... three… no, not quite right.” And variations thereof.

 

David and Rebecca Q&A

David explains that coming into Farscape was terrifying at first. When he heard it was made by the Henson Company he thought, “Oh, a Muppet-show called Fire-escape. But it was more like an Andrew Proust Bizarre, freaky mad world with a “decomposing” cadaver as a boss.

They had hired him for two episodes. First he picked his way as a serving, scheming bum around Scorpius and as if things couldn’t get any worse, he gets a new boss and falls “into the clutches of the breasts”.

Rebecca: To me it was new. So many places, so many faces, so much creativity…

David (smiling): So much stupidity…

R: I was being nice!

R: She gets this beautifully manageable weakling. That was fantastic!

R: I was to be all dressed in black, beautiful black costume, velvet jacket closed to my neck. Come onto the set. The set was dark, the walls were dark. I looked like a floating head!

Question: How did you feel when they lowered the top?

R: What was I supposed to say? It was my second day. Should I say “No” It’s more like a male warrior showing his chest…

D: Charge!

R: …daring someone to stick daggers in your heart. Men looked at me two ways. The soundman would look at my boobs and say “hello” or like David, look me straight in the eyes, “You’re an actor, a human being, I respect you and I am not looking at your breasts.”

D: I got to see her breasts all the time.

R: David was great. Handsome. Charismatic. Carries in Braca and takes him back out again.

R: You just have to commit yourself.

D: Was Grayza not going to be committed to an asylum?

R: That was part of my cunning plan.

Q: What was the most difficult to film an episode?

D: In the beginning of the show I was apoplectic but it tuned out all right..

R: Shortness of time.

Q: (very softly spoken) This is for David (David looks around as if he is listening for God or voices)… Did you expect to “live” beyond Season two?

D: I knew it was there for the first two episodes, that was what I was contracted for and then I was getting booked and booked and…

R: I wanted him to conquer the world. Manipulating all the arrogant peoples around you.

D: Well… Okay…

Q: How do you play those large emotional scenes in the smaller medium?

R: Look at it like a triangle. On stage you are the apex and on film you are the base. Scorpius would like to live on stage. On film you don’t have to project.

D: Pretty bloody succinct. I wanted to say what you said.

Q: David you were in the second Matrix movie…(couldn’t hear the rest of the question because someone was “whooping” in my right ear hole, I think it was Margaret)

D: My role as the snotty Maitra’D. That was fun. The directors asked me to do this, do that, use English, use French. I had no idea what they were going to do and then I saw the result and said, “Ooh, I’m French, sound French and look like John Waters.”

Q: What do you think of Grayza’s Natural Weapon?

D: Her Natural Weapon is… uh (points finger in shooting gesture)…uhm… Uzi… uh… legal weapon… uhm… [Audience shouts: “Boobsweat!”] They had wanted to make it like some sort of sound effect but a lot of people thought that that went too far. Kemper came up with that one and gave it to Ben.

Q: How was it to have Scorpius on a leash?

D (smiles broadly): One of those days. The sun shines, there is a spring in the step. That was damn fine!

R: Kicking Scorpius in the guts, that was ace. One of my favourite physical acts, Grayza wasn’t violent enough, although she could quite easily garrotted someone.

Q: What Shakespeare play is your favourite and which part?

R: Juliet, Viola (of Twelfth Night), Rosalind because it is the largest part and it is hot. Cleopatra.

D: Midsummer Night’s dream. I played one of the lovers and one of the Mechanicals. I worked really hard on the lovers, soooo hard. And I let myself go in the Mechanicals, just having fun and someone came up to me and said, “You were so funny in the Mechanicals.” “But what about my Demitrius?” “Eh, so-so.” Sleazy, luscious, menacing.

R: It is fun being evil on the theoretical level. Like when Braca and Grayza were captured and Grayza was put in the…

D: Vaginatron (looks smugly at Rebecca)

R: That was really a tribute to Anna, my dresser. She had to go on maternity leave. When Grayza said, “This is excellent, Aeryn.” It was really meant to be Anna but she still left me in the lurch.

Q: Who would you rather have as a Commander, Scorpius or Grayza?

D: Bracca is a bitter Sebacean. Redeeming of each of my benefactors, they were both horrible.

Q: Can you tell us any bloopers?

R: The script said “I want Crichton”, I said “I want Bracca”.

D: Freudian slip. My first costume was horrible and I had to do a flashback. It didn’t fit me anymore, it was skin tight and the belt wouldn’t close. In the end they finally glued the belt on, I looked like a sausage.

Q: Have you ever been compared to Crichton?

D: Big fat “Noooo”.

R: They were nasty to Bracca.

Q: What about Grayza’s weapon?

D: Genetic engineering. (points behind the ears)

R: Boobs of death

[Audience: Boobsweat!]

R: She can sense if people are lying.

Q: What did you think of Look at the Princess?

D: Great fun. That was Season 2? I had something to do in that Season. First time with Ben. Full on experience.

Q: Could Braca join the crew on Moya?

D: What could Braca do? Do the dishes?

[off stage]: We’re done.

D: Hitler!

David and Rebecca are throwing caps and T-shirts in the audience. It gives a different meaning to feral with some people in the audience. One of the caps flew straight in the chandeliers or overhead lights. Ah, well, one lost. David and Rebecca leave the stage.

 

Whispery talk. In comes a man with another man carrying a ladder. The ladder is placed under the overhead lights where the cap disappeared into. The first man climbed the ladder and retrieved the cap, comes down. Second man leaves room with the ladder. If one is “brave” enough to retrieve the cap himself then he deserves to have the cap! Congratulations Dominar Trebor!

 

Lani and Jonathan Q&A

Lani and Jonathan come up on the stage looking quite smart. Lani is taking his glasses off, real funky ones too, and fiddles with the microphone, which seems to be stuck low and to the side of the table.

Lani: Just came from church (fiddles with the microphone)

[Audience: You have to take it out!]

L (deep voice): I’m trying to take it out.

L (managed to get the microphone undone): Going to the bar tonight.

[Audience: Bring a friend]

Jonathan: They tried to but they couldn’t get the lock of the cage.

(Jonathan started to tell Rupert Lawson anecdotes, can’t remember why and getting “whooped” in the right ear hole didn’t help either, it only gave me murderous thoughts. The anecdotes were quite funny though.)

J: Rupert Lawson was somewhat of an alcoholic and once he sat in the audience looking at one of his own films, “Try this. This is where I come on.” The [usher] said, “Come away, you are drunk!” Whereupon Rupert Lawson said, “If you think I’m drunk wait until you clapped eyes on the F**** Duke of Buckingham!”

L: Michael Hurst and I were going to watch afternoon the performance of Amadeus. George Gerrahin, a New Zealand actor played Amadeus. It hadn’t started yet, so we decided to have lunch, then we had a lunch and another lunch, three bottles later we had a nightcap and missed the afternoon performance completely. So, we did the late performance and finished the performance. I sang “Deep in the heart of Texas” with Michael Hurst.

J: Mozart!

L: Never sweated as much as on that night.

J: I was the director.

L: (groan)

J: For those of you who will be here on Tuesday, there will be an execution at 6 o’clock.

L: (looks guilty).

J: I was at ComicCon. I went to an exhibition on torture in San Diego. It gave me a great insight on the American culture. Then I saw a Shakespeare production, which was slightly less painful. Cassius in Julius Caesar. I didn’t know Julius Caesar was a comedy and a Jewish comedy to boot.

Q: What happened to Lani’s hair?

J: Ran away, hair doesn’t live in burrows.

Q: I have a question for both of you…

J: Congratulations!

Q: Were you able to change lines (in Farscape)?

L: It’s like a musical, you can’t change the musical but you can interpret that. “To be or not to be” I don’t know… that IS the question.

J: It was slightly difficult for me. Once in Sydney an American came up to me and said, “My Rygel”. I was confused and he started to tell me what My Rygel meant to him. Then it dawned on me that he was talking about my part of playing Rygel. He asked me how I should play him. I told him, “Like Hamlet!” He answered, “Amazing!”

Q: On lip-synch, is it difficult to do?

L: It’s a challenge, it is the first hurdle. The second hurdle is...

J: The puppeteers.

L: First it was all right. I was on stage and the puppeteers were matching my delivery. After that it became impossible, I was next door playing Crais. Jonathan and I had to change our rhythms to match their [the puppeteers] reactions.

J: Puppeteers are not actors, if they are in the audience I will not apologise; they will kill me because they think they are, they WOULD try and react dramatically important. Then we have to lip-synch and breach pauses or change lines. One of the puppeteers who did Rygel paused after the first word of every line. I had to match the lip movements, deliver the lines as Rygel would say them and bridge unnatural gaps in the flow. And then the writers would change the lines and you would still have to deliver the line and matching the old line. All very trickery. To me Rygel is not a puppet, he is real… Real, I tell you!

L (looks to the side of the stage for a script): Script?

Q: How do you deal with emotions when you have to do the same emotions over and over?

J: Have you ever heard of Viagra Falls?

L: Keep it up… keep it up… keep it up [applause]. Great acting is like that. Acting is like an expensive dress. Make it look like the first dress you see in the shop-window. It looks simple, it should immediately catch your eye “Bang” but it is more complex. You shouldn’t see the seams.

Q: Do you think of a dead puppy to bring up an emotional response?

J: We are New Zealanders, so there are a lot of sheep jokes.

J: Instead of an Axis of Evil, we have an Axis of “those who would like sheep to wear lipstick” (and continues with) How do New Zealand farmers find sheep in the long grass? Delightful!

Q: How do you make a strange term meaningful?

J: If you do Shakespeare you run into that quite a bit. If you play on the characters, you move beyond the words. It doesn’t matter if you use an unfamiliar term. People don’t always listen that carefully. For instance I sometimes play with the waitresses by calling them “Bruce”. They don’t always notice. [After that statement he calls to some of the people coming up to the microphone with, “Yes Bruce?” wonder how many caught on]

L: We allow ourselves to create the reality, to believe in it for that one moment. If I believe in it as an actor, then the audience will believe in it.

J: When you play Shakespeare you run into that all the time. The audience isn’t always up in Elizabethan language. But if you understand it, then, hopefully, you can get it across to the audience.

J: See “Whale rider”. It is in the Maori language but you’ll not find it incomprehensible.

Q: You’re doing a lot of other things than Farscape.

J: How did you find out?

Q: From the internet.

Q: Are you not afraid of genre-working?

L: You’re asking if you change your performance based on the kind of show? You kind of do. If you work on comedy, you adjust for that. If you work on Miami Vice, you adjust to that. If you work on Farscape, that is a whole different beast. You adjust to the show but you don’t adjust the essence of the actor.

Q: Who would be a good love interest for Rygel and Pilot?

L: Ka D’Argo? I don’t know.

J: An eight-armed creature, an octo-poof.

L: Put the mirror away.

J: But both coming from New Zealand, we both have other alternatives.

Q: Did you encounter difficulties with auditioning as a Kiwi actor?

L: Australia has an “open casting”-policy but when you name a role and people of certain colour or creed are supposed to be auditioning on it. If you want a Maori-character, you cast a Maori actor. If I hadn’t stopped off at Australia I wouldn’t be sitting here. I have always believed in Open casting, which means that a name for a role is written in the script and anyone can audition for it, regardless of race or persuasion but I don’t want to dwell on it. (Lani doesn’t feel comfortable with the question)

J: The concept of using make-up to change an actor’s appearance for a race-specific role is just foreign to New Zealand actors. I did a play once called “Einstein”, which was a three- person production and not one of them was a middle-aged Jew. Going around and seeing people in terms of their skin colour would put us all into trouble, especially first thing in the morning.

L: Australia is working on this but they still have a long way to go with that policy which I am trying to break.

J: Had heart by-passes. Resemble an Internal Michael Jackson.

J: If you want to look for differences you will find them. You as ‘you in situ’. The only way to be national is to become local. The only way to become international is to become national.

Q: You compared Rygel to Hamlet, are there any other comparisons?

J: In Lani’s case, he’s playing Queen Anne from Richard the Third.

L: There was something Shakespearean about Farscape in general. In it’s huge story-telling  and its huge characters.

(Lani has found the line in the script he’s been looking for and speaks in the voice of Pilot. It is quite eerie, there are no mechanicals involved and the microphone is away from him. The voice of Pilot (as we know it) is heard very clearly and forcefully and reaches to the back of the room.)

[Audience: Silence, then applause]

J: It’s called Open throat and you utter from the gut, like an opera singer. Lani and I are working on Othello. The problem with the production of Julius Caesar in San Diego was that it was mic’ed.

Then Jonathan continues to explain and demonstrates how one can speak with an Open Throat (the explanation was interesting but very anatomical and not easy to remember, have found a link which explains it in further detail if anyone is interested link to the article Born To Sing) and sings an opera-line to demonstrate this. The sound is very powerful, no microphone needed and the sound is very clear and reaches the back of the room easily.

L (while Jonathan is getting his voice back to normal): If you take the microphone away from a really good actor and they are working that’s when they are in their full power. If you have an actor striding on stage without a microphone it is immediately more powerful. Working on stage without a microphone that’s a whole different ballgame. With a good actor you can take the microphone away.

J: The microphone distances the actor from the audience, without a microphone he can really connect with them.

Q: Could you demonstrate your character’s voices?

L: Basically we see the rushes on the screen in front of us. We hear three pips and take a breath before the last pip. (Riffles through the script) There is a little scene here…

J: No, I don’t do little scenes.

[laughter from the audience]

J: We were thinking of a musical called “Craisy for you…”

[audience: groan]

Lani and Jonathan demonstrate by doing some lines from Farscape, Pilot and Rygel.

L: It’s a matter of watching the light cues to lip-synch the dialog.

Q: How long does it take to do?

L: Doing a Pilot line in a totally different voice can be done in one to four hours…

J: To three days.

Q: Do you think of Crais as a villain rather than a hero?

J: There are no two sides. Everyone is self-justified in what they do. Crais is not a villain to himself. You can’t be killed by feral bagpipes. Iago is a Machiavell and is more concerned with manipulation than virtue. Rygel is not bad. He is only bad by your standards. In his own universe he just behaves like a Hynerian, do what the Hynerians do. Crais is a Peacekeeper who suffered a great loss. His only family is taken away from him and he thinks it is normal to take revenge, to find conclusion. If you start playing qualities of evil then you are a very bad actor.

Q: There were scenes with Crais and Pilot together, was that difficult to do?

L: The only difficulty was that on the set the continuity person would read Pilot’s lines. I had to restrain myself, as I always do. Other than that, it was just a matter of going into the studio to record Crais and Pilot.

Q: Would you like to have seen lines, which you didn’t do?

J: It is like a trolleybus. It runs on lines with an arm going to the power-line. It will go there. Charge the ride and the consumer or audience will get a ride.

Q: Will Crais come back?

L: I would love to answer that. I would be nice to think that if we had season five he would have appeared but I can’t answer that.

 

Anthony and Wayne butt in at that moment. Lani and Jonathan leave the stage.

 

Anthony and Wayne Q&A

Anthony and Wayne wait until Lani and Jonathan have left the stage and sit behind the table. They tell the audience that they like the architecture. Then they get up again and move the table to back of the stage while they put two chairs in the front. Anthony explains, “Let’s move the table it is such a barrier.”

They’re having a running commentary while they are moving the table and chairs.

We learn that they are still in The Band together and that Wayne comes from Woga Woga.

W: Getting a panic attack.

W: Before Burbank.

A: They had to move the chairs.

W: You were dancing on the chairs

They both sit down.

A: We are happy to be among friends.

Q: Was Worf of Star Trek an inspiration for Ka D’Argo?

A: I tried to make Ka D’Argo’s voice different from Worf’s. Worf has a deep calm voice. (demonstrates Worf’s voice and then does Ka D’Argo’s) Ka D’Argo…  is more deep, more rasp, more vodka.

A: because it’s [Farscape] such a big production in a small country, populace wise, every quest-star is an icon to the Australian actors. Jonathan is a real treasure in Australia. You can’t get more acclaim in theatre than Jonathan Hardy has. It is a privilege for us to stand in his company, it’s like a Laurence Olivier or Alec Guinnes doing a voice over. Jonathan Hardy is going to do our puppet? We all want to be in Farscape.

Q: What is your sound like (to Anthony)?

A: Like an Aussie version of Jimmy Lee World.

W: We still haven’t discovered ourselves yet.

Q: If Farscape was a musical, what kind of music would you like your character to sing?

W: Scorpy by Frank Sinatra, would be nice but complex.

A: Ka D’Aargo in Kiss.

Q: What does Scorpy feel for Sikozu?

W: Scorpy just killed her.

Q: Scorpy vs Harvey in mindset.

W: Indulge in stupid and silly. They thought it would undermine it. Never done comedy, luckily people liked it.

Q: How was the effect done with the cooling rod?

W: You think I physically do it? No, Headset has it set-up. There were three versions of the headpiece. One had a head-rig with the rod extended, then there was a mould of my head made up, that they shoot around, plus the live action in front of a green screen. But the new one was bad for my eardrums, try tapping your ear with the flat of your palm, that’s what is was like.

Q: What is your favourite Shakespeare play?

A: The Tempest. It’s like a metaphor on modern life.

W: A Midsummer’s night dream.

Q: (fan) Can I thud for you?

A: Can you what?

[Audience: Thud!]

A: In Australia Thud means to hit someone.

[Fan demonstrates a “faint” in Anthony’s arms]

Q: What’s up with the Braca/Scorpius kiss?

W: It wasn’t a kiss he was expecting.

W: Scorpius is not a sexual being (that works for me).

A: I can answer that, Sikozu was dead, Braca was not.

Q: How did you get involved in “Castle”?

A: In Oz I’m only cast in comedy-roles. In Australia the only cast in comedy is lower class people in comedy. D’Argo was wonderful experience other than what I do.

A: They took the heart out of the film. “Castle” was re-voiced for the American public because the American people might not be able to understand it. They took the Autralianisms out but that was what is was all about. “Castle” is the equivalent of “King of the Hill”.

Q: Which Harvey episodes did you like doing?

W: With reservation, execution scene in Nosferatu and the resurrection scene of Harvey. The plan was to do it in the munitions factory near Homebush. The storage facility had rails to roll out the munitions… The original plan was to roll out the casket on the existing rails. We rehearsed it there and it looked great. But with all the candles burning and no ventilation it caused everyone to break into coughing. We wound up doing it later in the studio.

Q: (On Wayne’s leather pants, couldn’t hear the question)

W: When I was in Burbank for the first time, my credit-card bounced when I was checking into the hotel. Later I wandered down Melrose and found a leather shop. I went to the leather shop and was helped by a French woman who wore leather pants. She kept encouraging me to feel the pants, “Very nice, you feel.” It was 700 dollars but I thought, “The credit-card will bounce anyway.” It didn’t bounce on the 700 dollar leather pants. I hardly had any money for the hotel, then it became almost like a uniform. Can’t wear it anymore.

Q: What are you doing at the moment?

A: I did eight weeks lecturing in Australia in a drama school.

Q: How did you manage the scream in the Final episode?

A: Chiana reaches out and squeezed my balls! I think I had a line there, no…. It wasn’t acting, it was pain. We finally stopped doing that take ‘cause Gigi’s hand became sore.

Q: How did you behave on set?

A: When cast or crew went over the line of crass behaviour, we developed a hand signal to indicate this (left hand open with back to audience, right open hand behind left hand is then moved in front of the left hand) that the line was crossed.

Q: Kemper said on Farscape that you had to be fearless.

W: I’m Claustrophobic. Every time I had my head moulded, it was torture. Almost became blue, almost lost consciousness. It takes… what… 15, 20 minutes in the mould? It felt like two hours. It was torture. I’m not a tough guy.

A: Having my chest waxed to play Jool.

Q: On Anthony’s film “Blind date” by Matt Wheldon.

A: Two years before Farscape 1995 or 1996. Blind date is about guys waiting for girls and things going wrong. They turned up at my doorstep, I had no money, would only have been for a weekend, no acclaimed producers. Did it anyway. Matt Wheldon went on to win all kinds of awards.

Q: Who was the biggest joker on set?

W: There was little time for jokes but I was given a camera to do a documentary on Farscape. I caught Ant in several positions scratching his bum while he was in costume. Scratches bum on the edge of the table, then on the chair and finally takes a cork “out” of butt, “Wayne’s found the  problem!”

A: Farscape highbrow, intellectual humour.

Wayne and Anthony do a song on stage. Wayne is on drums and Anthony on the guitar.

Anthony gets a guitar handed by someone (it’s not Anthony’s guitar).

A: Classy guitar but the strings are wrong. G-string in B-string position, 4 cords. It will have to do.

The song is about that weird stage in life, letting go of someone. It is the right decision but the breach is too short but still the right thing to do. The song is called “Simple recipe”. It is a “prayer” to let go of an old relationship and to begin a new one again.

It is a great and slow song and was too busy listening to it to write down the words. Hope they make it as a producing band so we can hear more of them.

 

After the Q&A’s, looking for the Cohorts again. I saw Hellcat_44 (Bryon) briefly (tall guy with blue hair although it looked green to me, another RPG’er) but didn’t see him after that. Wonder why.

 

Dawn and Margaret have gone upstairs to change for the banquet. I travelled light and found I only had Crais-/Lani-T-shirts with me. Guess who forgot to pack the Crais’ Cohort shirt? No extra points for guessing right. Anyway, since we still had some time before the banquet. More pictures with Lani and more autographs. Since I am wearing a different T-shirt every day why not have a different picture taken every day?

“Back again?”

“Yup.”

 

Heard some interesting news from Lani’s own lips and since he has been saying this to all Cohorts present that weekend, we can all share. His own website should be up and running in two weeks (after the Convention; NB it’s August 22 now and it is up and added to, check it out link to Lani's own website). Now, don’t be mad at him or the bearer of this news if it isn’t exactly two weeks after the ScaperCon. All of us know, or at least suspect, that websites have the tendency not to want to run properly immediately and Lani is still touring in the US. Let us keep our fingers crossed.

I had myself a little more under control when the photos were taken, even though I think I still resembled the Cheshire Cat on speed. Luckily Lani looks great in the picture. Black, almost skin tight T-shirt, get the picture? The guests are eating a quick meal while they are signing. The Cohorts group is not so small anymore.

It’s time to join for the banquet. Most people are dressed up. There is a handful of people, who, like me, had to be economic with travel-space. I’m in luck with my partners at the table. To my right there is Dawn and Margaret and to my left are CraisTralk, NMCrichton, CraisIsMine, Bexa and who later turned out to be Kasandrahaha.. The food is good and more than plenty for some. But we were all having fun and that was the main aim of the game.

 

One thing of note, strong coffee in America doesn’t come close to ‘kids’-coffee over here. So, if you want strong coffee, either bring your own or drink something else. Plenty of other drinking flavours to choose from.

 

NMCrichton managed to get to the convention too and we were all very happy that she could. A recent bereavement is not something you shake off easily but luckily Cohorts do as Cohorts do and persuaded her to come.

 

Dawn left soon after dinner, upset stomach and Margaret stayed a bit longer. CraisTralk left after the performances with a headache.

 

The performances after the banquet need their own accolade, here are some:

1. Crossing over with Stark: A little parody where Scorpius is the person of “reason” and shoots everyone, shoots Shannon multiple times. Now that is reasonable.

4. PK’s excuse why she wore a “Save Farscape” T-shirt to school, “Farscape makes you all a family. Though life can screw you over, you still have friends and family and Scapercon is family. [Group-hug on stage] …still failed me, so…”

7. Chiana and John sing a little medley on stage, “The only girl that sleeps with me… Winona”, “I feel shitty…” about John Crichton getting beat up repeatedly.

 

Then the disco starts. CraisIsMine asks me, “Do you dance?” My problem is stopping after I start. We start around 9 and I jumped about until it was about 11, I “danced” on anything that carried any rhythm. By about 10:30/11:00 the music turns to House and the movements are getting progressively silly on the dance-floor, time for a break. I need something to drink anyway. Went to the bar and got Lani a drink, great timing, someone just spilled Lani’s over the bar but a chance to talk to him is shot when the dealer with the toilet-stories takes up his time after he sees me and remembers that he (the dealer) is doing a convention in The Hague.

 

Hurray! The Cohorts are here!

CraisIsMine, NMCrichton, RefLady and me are sitting at a table in the bar. We talk, we drink, we have fun. Somewhere along the line I get introduced to jello-shots (no, not by one of the Cohorts). Mine has Vodka in it and tastes very sweet, quite nice. Like a sweet, one could get quite a couple of them down without even noticing that it also contains alcohol. Topics ranged from Lani/Crais (of course) to where we all came from, to films. There are not that many people around. At the other side of the room some people are playing pool while Lani is still talking at the bar with some people. Even that thins out.

 

All who went to bed too early (for whatever reason) or stayed up in their rooms will have missed the experience of watching the slow and fluent undulations of Lani. The man is simply poetry in motion. Do NOT believe the rumours that Lani can’t move, can’t dance and is stiffer than Ben Browder etc as someone said on one of the Boards. To put it clearly, if he would ever have to perform the slow build up for the Panthak regime as I have written down on occasion he would have been able to execute this without fail. He is a very rhythmic, wonderful dancer, great movements. Okay, back to Saturday-night.

 

He then takes someone to the dance floor, which is empty and from where we are sitting we have a perfect view on the movements and admiring him immensely. The movements are slow and precise like a cat’s. He was wearing a black almost skin-tight T-shirt. That we all managed not to grow faint was a miracle. We’re not greedy, we like to watch and observe and secretly envy the one who is dancing with him.

 

It is around 12 o’clock (00:15) and “last round” is being called. That is early especially with people still in the bar and dancing. Strange opening hours here.

 

When Lani returns for the third time he leaned over the railing near where we were sitting, had that charming smile on his face and asked us in that deep husky voice, “Ladies, do you care to join me?”

“Of course Lani,” we said in calm Cohort style and managed not to scramble and to reach the dance floor before he did by a couple of seconds. His wish is our command, he is after all “The Captain” but we managed not to show it too obvious (who are we kidding?).

 

We were lucky, apart from us 4 Cohorts only EC2 and the aforementioned woman join Lani on the floor. Each of us dancing with Lani at least twice. “Be still my beating heart”. His scent is very pleasant with a touch of sweetness. His touch when dancing is feather light and his eyes are half closed as if he’s listening to the rhythm of the music. His guiding movements are gentle even to those who can’t dance. We all danced with him and were made to feel special. Sometimes he sings while he’s dancing and his voice is smokey, “I’m running back to you…” CraisIsMine can probably put a proper name to the way he’s singing or the right song-title. Is there anything the man can’t do?

He is definitely a man, The Man but when he trains those innocent charming eyes on you, you just feel the urge to cuddle him. Some restraint is warranted here, we don’t want to spoil it.

 

I have to own up to an embarrassing episode. When one gets to my age (not telling, one year younger than CraisIsMine) and still love to party and still remembers the Twist, one should remember one thing. Discoing for 2.5 hours is okay, dancing and twisting afterwards is okay but don’t let an half hour of sitting still fall in between that. The muscles are older than you believe they are. They tighten up. You can still dance but do it upright or else…

I fell at Lani’s feet (literally). Nothing hurt, just sheer embarrassment. Had the pleasure of being helped up by him and CraisIsMine. I wish I could have prevented the look of concern on his face.

 

At 1:50 the manager comes around and wants to unplug the jukebox. We all call out to him to let us have the “last dance”. At 2:00 the music stops. Lani thanks us all as a group and six women bow in unison back to him. He thanks us individually. I miss my hubby’s beard, I realise. and I give him a kiss on the cheek, “Sleep well.” He is surprised, “Thank you, I will.” Lani’s beard on his cheek is still new and a little prickly.

 

At 2:15 everyone is back in their respective rooms. Finally fall asleep at 2:30, up by 6AM and out of the door to the lobby by about 7, got a bit bored watching two people sleep in the dark.

 

Sunday, August 4, 2003

Dawn will be dressing in her Delvian costume and Margaret will be staying with her while they’re having donuts.

Wrong, I am not having another donut breakfast. I’m having breakfast with the Cohorts. Need a little bit more substantial food to set me up for the day. The number is now enough to swarm down of two tables of 6-seaters. Sorry, CraisTralk, we couldn’t tell you about the Saturday night, we knew you would be very upset if you had known. I must admit it wasn’t easy for us not to tell you. That man is such a divine dancer it wasn’t easy to keep Mum.                                                                                                                   

Pk had to leave early, she is in Scapespeare and we promise to be there.

 

When Scapespeare starts Dawn is not there yet, Margaret is sitting to my right and by the looks of it she and Dawn are still busy doing the RPGames on paper. Most of the other Cohorts are sitting to my left.

The play is very close to the original Play “A midsummer’s night dream”, albeit condensed to 1 hour, having characters of Farscape as the main characters (Pilot is the Narrator) and being “funnier” than the original play. The one who plays Scorpius in the play was, to my opinion, the one who dominated the stage (I have to ask CraisIsMine if she knows who was playing this). Aeryn speaks of “betrothal interuptus” and “Crais” and “Crichton” fight it out on stage… with fish, Crichton of course having the upper hand by having a large fish and Crais a small fish. As in the Original Play, everyone get his or her right partners in the end and all is well that ends well. A thoroughly enjoyable play to watch and, to me, it was over too quickly.

There is ample time to shoot some pictures of the players and in the mean time Dawn has shown up in complete Delvian costume and being very, very blue.

 

It’s time for Bad Boys

 

Bad Boys Q&A

Five chairs are set in a row on stage and Anthony, Wayne, Jonathan, Lani and David get onto the stage. Greeting the audience (I might have this slightly out of sequence since I can’t remember which way I was holding my notebook) and sit down.

Lani thanks the people who watched his clone in the bar last night.

Q: Which characters would you like to be if you could be a different character?

L (with a wooden face): Grayza.

D: Admiral Braca

J: Are there any characters on Farscape?

L: I always like to get my hand on a good character.

A: One of the bikini babes who run around Harvey. I always wanted my hands on a really good rack!

Q: Which scene would you like to do again?

D: The scene of last night on the 9th floor. (reference eludes me)

A: Bikini-babes.

L: I like to do that one too.

W: They’re mine! They’re mine!

A: Just working with the guest actors.

L: Just to be there. The ship exploding, will never forget that as long as I live. Wayne walking up the stairs…

A: Not only the water, you get a good close-up of Wayne’s ass!

W: Look down and there is this water running over my shoes, I almost lost it.

J: An animal with Anthony as back legs. I don’t mean a periscope. It’s not bad sticking your head above water as an actor.

J: The episode with the blue monkeys, I was glad I was finally helping you Wayne.

W: Something was attacking us…

J: With really bad acting. I thought it was Tony Haze.

[Fan asks to thud over Anthony. Strange looks amongst the guests on stage until it is explained to them that she wants a hug. Gets a hug from Anthony. Found out later on the Board that thudding in Australia means thumping someone. What a pleasant surprise he must have got]

Q: Did you do a different voice for Dandy D’Argo?

A: Yeah, it was something more breathy but it didn’t work so I dropped it. It was really crappy.

J: I couldn’t do Ka D’Argo’s voice, he is eight feet taller than I am and that height has a different air quality.

Q: Any comments on I-Yensch-You-Yensch?

A: That was horrible, that was not fun. D’Argo can’t lie down because of the prosthetics. When you lie down the seams open. When Ka D’Argo lies down I still have to keep my head up, like a sit-up (shows this on stage and it looks very uncomfortable), it’s pain and wincing.

D: We worked together for that season. Very happy memories.

Q: Any favourite Convention stories? What do you think of Scapercon?

A: ScaperCon, it’s a brilliant convention [whoops from the audience] Respectful of our personal space but not too distant. Lovely to meet you all, we don’t know what it’s like to have fans. It’s normal people doing normal work and then this weird weekend. They don’t believe us back home. “Collectors? Autographs? Pictures taken? Fans at your feet?”

L: I have to add to that. Heather and Theresa. Two ladies to be mentioned.

[Applause from the audience]

D: It’s perfectly seamless. Warmth. Comradeship. Extended family and I though my family at home was weird. Thank you.

W: It’s a beautiful community. Everyone has a good time.

L: I wore this today, it’s a ScaperCon survivor tag…

[audience: it’s not 5 o’clock yet!]

L: I feel like I am in an AA-meeting, “Hello, my name is Lani, I have been without a Con for 15 days and I want to share it with you.”

[Audience goes wild]

J: Here you all know what Farscape is. I have been to Conventions were they treat you like a commodity. You’re getting bored being treated like a commodity. We went to this convention where we had to sign everything in sight, dead or alive. And people who never heard of Farscape were bringing us toilet paper to sign on. They had no idea who we were but we were signing so we must be important. Here, in spite of our best efforts, you know who we are. Don’t let it get out. Thank you, it’s been wonderful.

Q: Gary Drago, in “Won’t get fooled” again, was that you playing Ka D’Argo, playing Anthony?

A: Was that my name? Yes, car… good kissing… sleep… good. That was a bad impression of Andy Dick as Ka D’Argo.

D: Who’s Andy Dick?

A: He’s the funniest f****** guy  in America.

Q: Guy says he’s in a… (drat can’t read my own scribbles) but isn’t.

J: You know Russel Crowe, do you? Ask about the film of Gigi and Jonathan, it’s called DragonCon, write down your name and send it to Anthony.

A: No, No. (makes gestures)

[Another Fan gets kissed by Wayne, with the woolly hat off]

Q: I’m supposed to ask about the tollbooth in Texas story.

[laughter when Lani looks embarrassed]

L (gets up from his chair and relates the story quite animated): It was different to drive here. We’re barrelling down the road, with Jean [EC]as the designated driver. I was at Gineritto tollboot in Texas. I didn’t know that you needed coins for the tollbooths, not paper money. So, I get out of the car in the middle of traffic and run from one tollbooth to the other to get it changed. Finally I get it changed at one of the tollbooths. Lady saw me in the mirror and automatically reached out to exchange the money. She gives me 4 coins and I walk back to my car. I see a whole line of cars and people are honking their horns and the line of traffic is backing up. Someone is holding up a whole line of traffic. I realise then that it was my car that was causing the line, it’s because of me. So, I run back to the car and for some reason I go around to the front of the cars (Raises his hands) and yell, “Yip. It’s okay. I’m from Australia.”

[good round of laughter]

D: This is the man who portrayed the Captain of a Command Carrier.

L (hangs head in mock shame and sits down)

Q: What makes you Bad Boys?

L: You don’t want to go down there, you’ll never come back.

A: I’ll just say, that I slept with more famous people than any tall, white guys with a gut that I know.

L: My middle name is also a title it means basically “Lord”. Telanu (sounded like that: Te Lanu/Te Lani, hmm), it means “fighting amongst the villagers”. (could be that he was pulling our leg or that I have misspelled this. Couldn’t find the word in Samoan or Maori; might have to look further broaden the search to Polynesian) It comes with the package.

D: We just don’t take ourselves serious.

J: We are from New Zealand and we do take ourselves seriously and we never have fun. We have respect for our animals, unlike Lani who has many knees as a Poly-nesian. My family crest is, Danger is caught.

D: I’m not a bad boy.

Q: What do you guys miss most with Farscape over?

W: Apart from getting that bloody mask off? That’s one of the great feelings in life, getting that bloody rubber head off.

D: Rubber off.

L: Don’t they call that an eraser?

W: And the cheques mate, does that answer your question?

A: And the work and the interaction with the actors.

J: An actor has to be inured to saying goodbyes. You get intensely involved and very close with each other. Suddenly it stops and then you have to re-invent yourself and that’s a weird thing actors go through.

Q: Were the suits uncomfortable?

W: Physically uncomfortable. They build the suit when I was a skinny guy I had put on weight. They had to put more holes in the leather straps to let them out. It was very tight and I got sore back and shoulders but basically it was the heat.

L: In season four I played the Ogre and I have great admiration for Wayne and Anthony. I was in the suit for five minutes and it was really difficult.  We were doing this fight sequence. Got a shocking headache, I worked until it was so painful I thought my head was going to burst and also with the screaming. I had to go to the AD and said, “I’m sorry, I just have to stop.” I needed icepacks and headache-pills. I cooled off off-stage for half an hour. Had a conversation with Wayne and yes, he had these all the time. I never had the greatest patience for putting on prosthetics. While I was playing the Ogre I remembered I auditioned for Ka D’Argo and I’m so glad I didn’t get it, I have a great respect for the others.

J: Actors go through physical pain. Think about the guy playing the mad scientist. His legs had to bend two ways and he was basically kneeling on stilts. That’s part of being an actor. I had to do Sleuth in Spain, where every night I got shot in the side of the head with a gun firing blanks. The Spanish wouldn’t let us allow stage guns but guns with blanks against the side of the head. Once the wadding wouldn’t work, very painful. In Australia, actors are low on the pecking order. So it’s great to come here and find that our work really meant something. We’re very glad for this time, when we meet you and are welcomed, thank you.

Q: I have a question for Jonathan…

J: I was never there.

Q: But I have pictures…

J: No, that is the famous other New Zealand sheep story. Jonathan tells a sheep joke about a ventriloquist, a farmer and his animals. Ventriloquist makes the farmer believe that his animals can talk, they all say that they have a great life, get plenty to eat etc, a life of Riley. Ventriloquist, “Can I talk to your sheep?” Farmer, “No, they lie.” (if anyone is interested, can send the full joke).

Q: It’s going to be hard to top that

J: Don’t top that very woolly tale.

Q: The Creative vegetable pictures, where did you get those and why haven’t you been arrested yet?

J: The reason I didn’t get arrested was that they weren’t peeled. Got them from an Arab, who did a lot of work for us when I was directing an opera and he’s very good about acupressure. I’m on his joke list.

A: And you bloody forwarded them to me. I don’t like you sending them. I can’t stand all that rubbish in my inbox…

J: First time he said that to me. Got them from Sirius health.

Q: Thank you for the pleasure.

J: So did the veggies.

Q: The love of SciFi fans is unconditional. We are here for you. We will support and help you. Thank you so much.

Q: If your characters could do anything you wanted them to what would you have liked them to do?

W: There’s a few things that I look back on and have been dissatisfied with. I should have crushed the flower. I was happy with the way things ended with Sikozu on my knee and she wasn’t having a good time.

A: Ka D’Argo was going to be the single liberator of his planet. His ship Lo’la was supposed to be like The Sword in the Stone. He would gradually take up the mantle of the warrior. I would like to have to do that.

J: I thought Rygel was a better Captain.

L: Just come back with Talyn and rock the planet. You know, get married, have kids, go shopping… for a new jacket! I’m wearing this jacket for four years and I don’t have a change of clothes?

D: Simple… King of the World!

Q: You see what we collect, do you have any memorabilia from the show?

L: Nothing, because we threw all that away. I would love to have my jacket, so I could get a new one. That’s one of the things I was ringing up about and we were put on hold. We were told we couldn’t have anything.

D: Braca’s outfit was very skin tight, so I had to wear these special undies. One day I took them home and the costume people were immediately on the phone and asked me to bring them back, so I have nothing.

W: Well, I had my boots and I liked them. Everyone likes to be in Kiss for a day.

L: Scorpy’s codpiece was very impressive.

A: I have that big bus-stop poster of D’Argo and I have one cell of the animation. I was the only person given clearance by the director to shoot behind the scenes. I have Behind the scenes footage, 24 hours. Shot legally but I’m not allowed to show anyone.

[Audience: show it to us, we won’t tell]

Q: Do you really want to go to Burbank? There are people here who can make that happen, just say the word.

W: We were promised that if we went back we could take the Band. That’s the package we were promised, to bring the lads, so if we go we want the deal.

J: (couldn’t hear because of the noise)

L (starts to speak)

D (grabs the microphone): Think I’m holding up pretty well.

L: Isn’t it called the “Official” Farscape Convention? The truth is, you have more of you here (gives thumbs up) and Chicago rocks!

[audience goes wild]

J: Jean organises all these things and she does it magnificently. Yes, we would like to go, so if anyone can make it happen, write to Jean, if they invite us. I hear it’s a plum. I’ve never been to Burbank.

Q: Have the prosthetics progressed to where you can move?

A: My rig changed each season and about every few weeks in season two I get a new one. David Martin’s Analysis in Prosthetics. He’s an absolute genius.

W: I was the first to wear Hotflesh. Limitations are sometimes your greatest tool, sometimes it becomes part of your character. With the Hotflesh, when they did it right, when it was so hot they could see me blush through the material. I had heat patches.

J: For me, my prosthetics is private between me and my doctor.

The Q&A ends and everyone leaves.

 

We make our way to the dealer’s room. I still want a picture taken with Lani and he smiles when he sees me again, “Again?” “Yes.” More pictures. Try to sneak some in but due to me trying to learn to use the camera some of them came out blurred. NMCrichton is presenting all the guests with presents (Lani gets a Hawaiian shirt) and cards and she has a shirt for Wayne. Not to say hugs from David, one happy Cohort. We hang around for a little bit longer before making our way to the main hall again for the Closing ceremony.

 

Closing ceremony

It was an emotional ending. The organisers were standing on stage and spoke of a “most outrageous, strong family” but this was really the last time they were organising it, probably. They were very tired and each time they were getting better and better but it was time to step back. They announced that NMCrichton was the overall winner of the writing contest. They threw action figures and T-shirts at the audience. “We love you all very much. Thanks to all our friends who were walking with us. ScaperCon is over.” Big group-hug.

 

People dispersed and we get someone to make a group-camera-shot of all the Cohorts and friends. Guess whose camera did not take the picture? Most of the people left that day and some went out for some show in Chicago, stand-up comedians I think it was but it was rather pricey. Eight Cohorts are left and after some debate decided on the Panda-express.

I’m a big eater but I had to concede defeat halfway into the meal, plus I still can’t get my head around the size of a small coke, which looks like a bucket to me.

 

Dawn and Margaret disappear upstairs. I’m hanging out with the Cohorts in room 918 for a while. We mail (on NMC’s laptop) the Cohorts that NMCrichton has won the writing contest and just talk a bit on the convention. Basically slowing down. NMCrichton gives me a copy of the script of “Nerve”, Thanks NMC. It’s about 10 by the time we go downstairs again.

 

Are we little Cohorts lucky (silly grin), Lani is in the bar wearing the Hawaiian shirt NMCrichton has given him. The colours suit him and make a perfect loose fit. Managed to offer him and EmeraldCity2 another drink while I get our order in but CraisIsMine is luckier and gets to talk to him. The rest of us Cohorts are sitting around the table and talk. Unfortunately, some people at the table behind us speak, whoop and laugh very loudly, difficult to hear yourself think. One of them has the sound of a pregnant hyena, ScaperHyenas. It is not much fun having very good senses but it makes the others laugh, so it’s all right with me.

 

CraisIsMine comes back and horrifies NMCrichton with a story about the acupuncturist. Her cries must have scared the new patients of the acupuncturist. NMCrichton is not a happy trooper but CraisTralk keeps bringing her back to the table. Jonathan is sitting at the table behind us and is in deep conversation with some people, while Lani is getting a muscle rub to loosen the shoulder muscles from one of the dealers (the one who sold the pulse guns). He looks happier with it. I had noticed that on stage he moved his head a few times to loosen up a muscle. CraisTralk is going up by about 11.

 

12 o’clock “Last orders”. Again the tables go to the side, this time the floor is littered by youngsters and the ScaperHyenas. Lani and EmeraldCity2 move to the dance floor. When she motioned us over to join them, we (CraisIsMine, NMCrichton and I) waited patiently, let others have a chance to dance with Lani too but when we saw that the young-uns rather liked dancing with themselves and Lani looked a bit lost, we couldn’t let that happen, could we now?

 

Lani’s smile seemed genuine when the Cohorts came to the rescue. Gives us each a dance before joining the young-uns in a line dance, which he follows to perfection. He’s even pulled into a conga, not sure whether he enjoys it too much. Have the pleasure of having more dances with him. But at about 3AM, we had enough of “chicken songs” and “YMCA-songs”. Lani has already left the floor. Pity we couldn’t say goodbye to him. It is time for us to leave too.

Finally fell asleep at 4 and was awake by 6. In the lobby well before 7.

 

Monday, August 4, 2003

Grannykins is already up and I start writing on the report. It takes a little while before the others come down. To my surprise Dawn is in the lobby by 8:30 bringing her bags to the car. I go upstairs to pack my bags, find out that the corrected pages of my story are probably left in room 1028 (drat!) and to settle the bill with Dawn and Margaret. I opt to pay the bill since I also made calls to hubby every day, that way we only have to work out the hotel-costs. Hope the staff will find the pages and can forward them to me.

 

We get CraisTralk and CraisIsMine to come with us too and the five of us have a last breakfast together before we all go our separate ways. Of all the four I say “goodbye” to I feel Maryanne the most sorry to leave behind. I manage to stop myself from wiping away a tear but I can detect one on Maryanne. I can understand how she feels, the feeling is mutual.

 

CraisTralk and I leave for the airport. Maryanne had business that day in Chicago, Margaret was leaving the next day and Dawn was going to her sister that day.

Strange how one can make dear friends at a convention.

 

Non-Convention

Leaving Chicago was almost like a repeat in the airport. The people behind the desk look at me as if I’m the worst person who walks the Earth and that was because I smiled to them. Hey, I’m not familiar with airport procedures, ninety-nine out a hundred times I smile, in their books that means I’m really bad. “Take shoes off”, “Take belt off”, feel my socks; luckily my feet are clean. At least one is very apologetic and when they open the bag, tons of Lani spill out. “Hmm, quite a handsome feller. You must like him, you got tons of photographs of him etc. and even a picture on your T-shirt” “Yup,” silly grin. It breaks the ice and I’m allowed through.

Bob and Mark pick me up in Washington, great, only a 2.5 hours delay (2 hours of that on the tarmac).

 

Wednesday we visit the Holocaust Memorial Museum, it’s free, so there is no excuse. Quite impressively laid out and very informative. Some parts are not for the squeamish. When one enters one gets a “passport” of a person who was in the Concentration Camps. Only when you read the passport do you find out whether this person lived or died in the war. There is a choice of males and females. I pick a male. Guess who I picked? Someone of the family Polak, a Dutch Jew who died in the concentration camps. What are the odds to that?

 

Getting through security is fun again. My two friends have a regular hardware in their pockets and on their person: keys, money, rings. Me? I take my keys and money out, my camera and battery on a tray, belt off. Walk through and beep like Talyn on speed. Cause: metal button on my jeans. I start to suspect them of metal-rigging now. This person is not amused.

 

The rest of the week is spent in relative peace and quiet, some local looking around and shopping. The main aim was to see friends I hadn’t seen in seven years. Aim reached.

 

Back again on Saturday, this time from Baltimore. Security was quite friendly while you take shoes etc. off. No offence meant but Baltimore is probably the most boring airport in the world. ‘International’ resembles a doctor’s waiting room or a Russian bar, without pictures. The Hotdog-stand closed at 6 PM as did the beer-stand and the coke-stand. Only WHSmith and the DutyFree left open. Fun if you get there at 5:50PM and the plane doesn’t leave for another 2 hours.

 

Managed to write a fair amount on the ScaperCon on the plane and we land with 20 minutes to spare at Heathrow. And then have a delay of 1 hour and 40 minutes. Why could this not have happened at the start of my journey? By that time I’m awake for 26 hours. To conclude a mishap travelling itinerary, my bag is the last to leave the plane. Ian picks me up. Love the little goblin. I stay up until midnight and a now awake for 36 hours, that should keep me from having jetlag. It also made me sleep for 12 hours (Ian didn’t wake me up) and miss my first day at work.

 

All in all, quite satisfying.

 

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